Monday, February 23, 2015

Why Was I First To Know?

Why was I the first person to know that my father had died? I was alone with dad at that moment, no one but me and him knew what had happened. Why? Did dad want me to make that last photograph of him at that time before anyone else came in the room? Did he give me that last gift? Did he give me that last moment together?

I do not know if he knew I was there, or if our being together was just a coincidence. Over the last year I visited my father many times, I probably spent some time with him on at least 95% of those last 365 days. Maybe it was just the fact that I visited my father so often that I was the one there at the end. I am not sure why I was the first one to touch him after he died, the first one to realize he was not breathing, and the first person to feel the warmth in his body leaving him.

Why was I first to know? I am not sure why dad and I had that last private moment together, but we did, and it is something I will cherish. It was a sad and terrible thing but being there with dad at the end like that was also something almost beautiful, something special, it was almost like the scene from a Hollywood film. Only Hollywood screenwriters make up endings like that.

I will miss my father everyday the rest of my life. I will also remember our last minutes together until the day I die.