Wednesday, March 4, 2015

The Day After

It seems so wrong to lay her on my sofa, all safe and protected and to think of my father, cold in a box underground. We talked about this for a long time, everything was discussed over and over but now its all so final No more talk, no more thinking or planning it's a reality.

Today I called up mom to see how she was doing and got the answering machine, dads voice still not too old and very healthy told me to leave a message. I should have done more to be with him when I could, spend more hours, more time with him when he was younger and healthy.

I am developing 3 rolls of Tri-x dad negs, some from the funeral. Not sure what I will post on the blog. I might post all the better shots, a few stronger ones or nothing at all. I am happy I worked hard trying to photograph dads last year, but again I feel I could have done more. I missed out on the second white background session. I shut down my camera many times, when maybe I should not have. There were just some things I could not photograph even thou dad would have let me.

I am happy I have the photos I do have, I can print them for the rest of my life, and they might be collected by someone, some museum, some collection and live past past both dad and me. Anything is possible with these negs. The photos seem to have a strong effect on many people. I have had work collected before, maybe it can happen again. I would be so happy for my father to live on through these photographs. That is the power of great photography it can lead to a type of immortality for the subject.