Quote: Sebastiao Salgado

"I believe the average person can help a lot, not by giving material goods but by participating, by being part of the discussion, by being truly concerned."

Link: Reviewing Some Thai Words

I am going over some Thai words today that I will need to use with my subjects. When people ask me why I am photographing I always tell them I am trying to record Thai culture and that the work is my attempt at creating art for a gallery. I tell them I want the farang (Westerners) back home in Canada to learn about their lives and understand who they are as people.

Today's renewal verbage

Art/Sin-Lau-Bau/ศิลป
Gallery/Hoh-Sin/หอศิลป์
Culture/Waut-Tun- Nau-Tum/วัฒนธรรม

For those of you out there who want to learn Thai, here is a great site. I would suggest if you really want to study properly you meed to learn how to read and write in Thai as well as speak. I learned to read Thai font (child like but I can do it) several years ago and have found it invaluable. Plus whenver a farang writes anything in Thai it impresses the hell out of local Thai people which allows you to make friends quickly.
http://www.thai2english.com/ 

Photo Idea: "Ladyboy"

I have been reading about the work of Lisette Model and Diane Arbus and thought of another photographic idea. This would be number 1001 on the list. A series of head shots shot with the blad and ring flash at night outdoors of ladyboy sex workers. Not sure what I would call the series, possibly the simple title "Ladyboy".

I want the work to have a wild dynamic to it, strong harsh flash printed contrasty with wild expressions and looks. Too much of my portraiture is rather boring, I want to spice things up a bit. I need the viewer to be taken aback, make them a bit confused, maybe even surprised and slightly shocked.

Ladyboy workers on the street can be aggressive, suspicious or even drugged, so it might be a bit dicey. Ladyboys in Thai are more commonly involved in crimes (as compared to female workers).  I will have to build relationships and most likely pay for the portraits. Giving out a bit of money for a 10 minute photo session is no biggy. It will get me lots more people to photograph and it is respectful to the person who poses, their time is valuable. I have found that most ladyboys love to be photographed, the key as with all people is to treat them with kindness and respect. What you give out usually comes back to you, if your kind and happy then they end up being kind and happy.

Update* I need to come up with a better title for this possible series!"Butterfly: The Ladyboys Of Thailand" ??

Quotes: W. Eugene Smith

"What use is having a great depth of field, if there is not adequate depth of feeling?"
"Available light means any damn light that is available."

Quote: Afred Eisenstaedt (Photographer)

"It is more important to click with people than click the shutter."

Quote: Robert Capa

"The truth is the best picture, the best propaganda."

"Forgotten Laughter" Series Thoughts

I have been thinking a lot lately about a photo project I plan to do on children living in poverty. The series is set in South East Asia and I will title it "Forgotten Laughter". I want to try to do a exhibition as well as a book with these pictures. This photography project will be dedicated to my father. I made a promise to dad, a vow, to do this work and I intend on keeping my word. Dad always worried about children, especially those who lived  in poverty. Doing this series of portraits is something my father understood as important and valuable.

I initially thought I would only do pictures with a 5x7 view camera, vertical standing portraits. I am now thinking that I might broaden the type of images I will use. Fazal Sheikh's wonderful work has inspired me to also try to do a series of square format head shots with a Hasselblad as well. Using the blad with roll film will allow me to get a variety of up close portraits, changes of expression, more dramatic lighting etc. I might do something like shoot 1/2 a roll (6 shots) or a full roll on each child, which would give me plenty of negs to choose from. I want to get a very shallow depth of field (focus) look so will probably use a my 150mm telephoto at the widest aperature.

Will experiment in the coming weeks with the blad and telephoto lens and post the results on this blog. I have 50 or so rolls of Tri-x 120mm in my freezer, I need to purchase another 30 or so before any major Asian trip. Buying 120mm Tri-x in Thai is very difficult if not impossible, so will have to carry everything with me. I might also be using 120mm Tri-x with the blad and ring flash if I work on the "Lost Innocence" series, so the more film I have the better.

OT Pay Helps The Photography

I am working tons of OT and one extra STAT day on days security this week. It works out to 48 hours of OT and 12 hours of Stat pay. I get extra shifts so rarely that it's fun to calculate what I can do with this new found money. I figure not counting taxes (where is the fun in that?) I should earn enough cash to rent a nice large room with a kitchen at a central Bangkok location.for 3-4 months.

That's not a bad exchange, 1 week of busy day shifts for 3 plus months of accommodations in Bangkok to make pictures! Imagine that 3 months of picture taking, 3 months of freedom, and 3 months of Thai food! Thinking of that should help my extra work week go faster.

Quote: Ernst Haas (Photographer)

"Look for the, Ah-ha!"

Link: Art Acquisition Re-Submission

I had to redo my Art Acquisition by Application submission to the Alberta government. They no longer accept the hard copy versions, everything is now done online and digitally. With the help of some cheat sheets from the nice folks at the Alberta Foundation For the Arts, I was able to re submit everything tonight in digital form.

Going forward now that I understand how to do it via the internet, these things should be faster and easier to do.

Thanks Barbara at the AFA for your help. The deadline is April 1, submit while you can!

http://affta.ab.ca/Art-Collection/Acquisitions-and-Programming

A Kind Note

I got a very kind email today from one of the galleries I submitted work to. When people take time out of their lives to write you something caring and beautiful it not only helps you emotionally it also encourages you to work that much harder. Thank you so much.

Here is the email:

Dear Mr. Yaum,  

I viewed the links you sent in your e-mail.  It was heart-breaking to look at these photographs.  These  people were born of God, innocent children, not meant for this kind of suffering and abuse.  Frankly, I don't know how you were able to endure, but I imagine that knowing that these people have to actually LIVE these lives in the sex trade, helped to sustain you during your mission to try and rescue those trapped in this profession.  

The simple fact that you had concern as to whether or not you were further exploiting these individuals lets you know that you weren't.  Those who want to gain profit from the suffering of others, do not entertain the thought of exploitation.  When your heart is clear, so is your conscience.  Thank you for caring for the downtrodden.

I will forward this e-mail to the owner and he will be in touch, should he have interest in pursuing an exhibit of your work.

I also wanted to tell you that I'm sad for you over the loss of your father.  It's difficult and heart-wrenching to witness the deterioration and demise of our parents. Did documenting his decline create space for you or did it make the journey that much tougher?  We wish that our loved ones would die peacefully in their sleep, but for most of us, that is not the case.

Stay true to your heart.  You're on the right path.

Kind regards,

----- -----

Links: Joseph Saxton Gallery

I found out about a wonderful world level photography gallery tonight located in Canton Ohio. The Joseph Saxton Gallary represents some of the most important photographers in history and seems to cater to documentary related themes. They allow online link submissions so I sent them some links from recent projects. I plan to continue to send them links in the future.

Joseph Saxton Gallery Canton Ohio

Here is a link to the Saxton collection page:

http://josephsaxton.com/saxton-collection

The galleries most recent acquisition is my favourite photograph of all time, Tomoko Uemura in Her Bath, 1971 by Eugene Smith. This photograph speaks to me of the absolute love a mother feels for her child. Smith created it when he was an older man (around 53, he died at 59), it gives me hope that maybe someday I can make something comparable.

Here is the photograph and the story about the image (written by the staff at the Joseph Saxton Gallery)

Tomoko Uemura in Her Bath, 1971 by Eugene Smith.

 W. Eugene Smith is best known for his iconic cultural portraits portrayed as extensive photo-essays. One of his last great exposés was that of mercury poisoning in Minamata, Japan. Smith and his wife lived in Minamata from 1971-1973 and documented the disease extensively. After a severe beating by employees from the Chisso chemical factory, Smith published one of his most famous works: Tomoko Uemura in Her Bath, 1971. We are thrilled to have acquired this piece and are proud to have it in the Saxton collection.

That's Enough Submissions!

Well I just finished off the 8 magazine submissions, 5 for Photo Life and 3 for View Camera. Earlier I did a 5 print submission to the Art Acquisition by Application program here in Alberta province, another 5 print submission for the Alberta Open Photo competition and 12 quickie email submissions to various galleries and museums across Canada.

Thats enough submissions for a while, hopefully something will come of the time I invested in this latest round of begging to have the work seen. Hope hope!

Dirty Tourism

I had a photo friend send me this article tonight, rather fascinating, check it out. The main difference to me between the documentary photographer making photos in these situations and the tourist is the reasons behind them being there. The documentary photographer is trying to tell an important story using a certain level of skill to create powerful photographs (sometimes to the level of high art) for a large audience via newspapers, magazines, exhibitions. The documentary photographer is trying to promote positive change for the impoverished people he photographs. The tourist pays to be taken to sites of poverty as part of a tour. They have limited photographic skills and produces snapshots to keep mostly as souvenirs or at best to place on some social media site. The tourist is at these sites for themselves, for an adventure they can talk about with their friends back home.

Here is the story in the Phnom Penh Post.

http://www.phnompenhpost.com/dirty-tourism-cambodia

Quickie DVD Submissions II

I decided to do a grand total of 8 of these submissions. I plan on sending out the folloing submissions. The picture files are not what the mags require but I thought I could give them a taste of the work and then if they like anything move on from there. Thise mags get hundreds of submissions maybe thousands so it is all a long shot at best.

Photo Life Magazine:
1) Thai Sex Worker
2) Families of the Dump
3) Klong Toey Slum
4) Muay Thai Boxer
5) My Fathers Last Days

View Camera Magazine (large format view camera work)
1) Thai Sex Worker
2) Klong Toey Slum
3) Muay Thai Boxer

Dean Jones Passes Away

Dean Jones the wonderful guy who made my Bananarama Razzzle Polaroid conversion camera has passed away. I just found out about Dean's passing today, he died of cancer before my father back in December of 2014. Dean was a great guy and a wonderful camera maker, I will miss our emails. I hope to continue to make strong photos with his camera for years to come.

http://www.apug.org/forums/forum245/135500-passing-dean-jones-razzle-converted-4x5-polaroid-cameras.html

Here is the story from Apug.org :

Passing of Dean Jones: Razzle Converted 4X5 Polaroid Cameras

I wasn't sure where to post this - I decided this was the most appropriate place.

Dean Jones, the man behind the Razzle 4X5 cameras, plus many other panoramic and other hand made cameras passed away from cancer this morning.

I knew Dean for over 15 years - his enthusiasm for photography was infectuous. He loved to play. He loved to find a old lens and shoot a paper negative to see what result the lens would give. He would take something he found - say a right angle viewfinder from a microscope, and make himself a 5X4 SLR...just because he could.

RIP mate...

Dean with one of his converted Razzle Polaroid cameras

Quickie Submission DVDs

I decided to go ahead with the quickie DVD submissions to two magazines, Photo Life and View Camera. I made up Thai Sex Worker DVDs for both those mags. The DVD includes a simple word file with some background info and 18 photos of around 500KB a piece. I did not really follow the mags photo recommendations figuring if they liked anything I could make up specific larger files for them.

Tomorrow I plan on making up 2 or even possibly 3 more DVD submissions for Photo Life.

1)"My Fathers Last Days"
2)"Families of the Dump"
and possibly
3)"Klong Toey Slum"

I might also try doing up a "Klong Toey Slum" submission of view camera work for View Camera magazines. I have quite a bit of large format slum portraiture, especially if I include some of the Muay Thai work.

If you add up all those possible submissions there could be 6, 2 - View Camera and 4 - Photo Life.

Update* Completed 4 submissions, they are in the envelopes ready to mail. I did all the above submissions except the "Klong Toey" slum versions. I might still make up those tonight, one for View Camera and one for Photo Life.

View Camera Magazine Submission

Tomorrow I will send out a quick email submission to "View Camera" magazine. Tonight on my night shift I made up a statement and did some picture editing of 17 photos from my "Thai Sex Worker On White" series.  I am not sure email submissions are allowed with the magazine but heck its free and I thought why not try. I might also make a CD version submission later on. For those of you interested in submitting work to this wonderful magazine here is a link.

http://www.viewcamera.com/submissions.html

Update* I have decided to make up an quick all on digital DVD submission as well. The DVD will contain all the jpeg files as well as a quick letter to the editors detailing the series. I managed to do that up tonight at work as well using my laptop. You got to love how fast digital-computer technology makes all of this. In the old days you had to make photographic slides of all your work. I remember doing up one of those slide submssions once. It took me months to complete and was very difficult to do. After all that work I ended up getting a short rejection note.

I might also try doing a quick all DVD submission to Photo Life magazine, possibly on "Families of the Dump" or "My Fathers Last Days"

Links: Stunning Fazal Sheikh Work, Pace Macgill Gallery

Found this gallery link to some of Fazal Sheikh's work, stunning stuff. I was especially impressed by the color work he made for the Ether book. I coincidently bought a copy (photos unseen) of this book from Amazon earlier this week.

Here is a link to the Pace Macgill gallery in New York, which carries the FS work.
http://www.pacemacgill.com/selected_works/artist_page.php?artist=Fazal%20Sheikh
Another link, this one to the other world class artists Pace Magill represents. A whose who of great photographers.
http://www.pacemacgill.com/artists.php
This link is cool, it is to past exhibitions, lots of great photography by world class photographers, hung beautifully. Wouldn't it be cool to be part of that group some day!
http://www.pacemacgill.com/past_exhibitions.php?item=137 

Photo Idea: Square Format Head Portraits

Looking over the work of Fazal Sheikh has inspired me to try to do a series of head portraits with a 6x6 Hasselblad. The portraits would have a shallow depth of field and be made with either the 150mm telephoto or the standard 80mm. I would shoot the pictures in available light at the the lens widest aperture. I want to do something similar to FS's work but with a slight bit more depth of field. I find some of Fazel Sheikh's portraits lack the depth of focus I prefer, I would add just a bit more focus to allow for an extremely sharp section in each portrait. I find the square format almost zen in its beauty for this type of head shot. I need to create teh sense of space around my subject as FS does in the sample below. Sometimes I shoot too tight and do not allow my portraits to breath.

Some of my photo ideas are rather extreme in their complexity and difficulty. This idea thou is relatively simple, I have done work like this before. I just need to devote myself to it and make sure I have enough 120mm Tri-x that I can shoot! I can work on the exact technique in the coming days, it should be be technically fairly easy to do this. I might try using a small round reflector to fill in shadows in this series. The trick is going to be to get me and my camera to my subjects and to then find compelling faces to photograph. Many photographers before FS used these similar techniques to tell the stories of their subjects, now it could be my turn.

Possible subjects for the portraits which could end up as 15 print box sets include:

1) The children and or the people of the Mae Sot garbage dump.
2) Muay Thai boxers from the Klong Toey slum.
3) The people of Klong Toey slum.
4) Freelance sex worker of beach road in Pattaya Thailand.
5) The migrant workers of Bangkok (from Cambodia, Laos, and Burma)
6) Young gay sex workers (hustlers?) who work with Western sex tourists. This project subject might work with the Toot Yung Gallery in Bangkok, which still might show my photography.

I think first I will start out with the boxers, shirtless with just there faces, preferably after a work out when they are sweaty and tired.

Afghan girl born in exhile, Pakistan 1998 By Fazal Sheikh

Quote: Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” 

Quote: Ian McKellen

"Don't give up the projects you really want for some extra time with your girlfriend or because you don't want to miss a holiday with your family. They'll understand. Just don't have any regrets."

Painting: Self Portrait By Albrecht Durer

This is one of the first works of art that I loved as a younger lad. I was 16 and part of a school trip to Germany with my Social Studies class. During our 10 day trip through Germany, Austria, Switzerland and France (an amazing and important 10 days) we visited a museum. I think I saw this work hanging in the gallery. I later bought a small print card of it in the museum store. This work is a self portrait made by the artist Albrecht Durer in 1500 when he was 28 years old. I remember at the time I loved the detail in his face, hair and coat.

Buying this image might have been a precursor of my choice to eventually do portraits with a 8x10 view camera. Maybe loving this painting at 16 allowed me to photograph people with the view camera in my 30s and 40s. I wonder where I put that reproduction? I probably still have that card somewhere at mom and dads house.

Even today I still love the idea of the beauty of the human figure in this wonderfully detailed work by Mr Durer. Check out this artist on the linked Wikipedia page. All we see and experience in life leads us to the work we will eventually produce ourselves.

Wikipedia: Albrecht Durer

Self-Portrait By Albrecht Durer, Germany 1500

   Ladyboy Sex Worker By Gerry Yaum, Thailand 2012

Bought A New Photo Book, Ether by Fazal Sheikh

I ordered a used version of another Fazal Sheikh book. The work is his first colour book published in 2013. I am looking forward to studying it. With shipping I paid $31CAD for this 88 pages of photography. I am getting paid OT today, am working a more difficult security dayshift, I thought I would treat myself : )).

Here is the info on the book, just in case others are interested in getting it.

Ether by Fazal Sheikh

Ether Hardcover, August 2013, by Fazel Sheikh

 From Amazon:
The pictures in Ether, Sheikh's first book in colour, were made as a way to honour the experience of death and to try to comprehend its significance. Benares (Varanasi) is one of India's sacred cities, where many Hindus come to die in the belief that they will find salvation. As he walked its streets by night, Sheikh observed sleeping figures, shrouded in blankets, lost to an oblivion that seemed, in that holy city, to offer a simulacrum of death. In watching these ambiguous figures, which hover in the imagination between a dream state, sleep and death, Sheikh recalled his own experience with his dying father and their passage together through his father's final days. He remembered it as an invaluable period of emotional connection with the body and soul of the person he knew and loved, a connection that reached back to his paternal ancestors, who had travelled south from northern India a century before. To lose oneself in sleep is to abandon the senses and leave the way open to a dream state in which mind and body separate. Just as, in death, the soul leaves the physical body behind and takes to the air, becoming ether.

Selection Of Dad Photos for Rosebud Exhibition

I have been going over in my mind which photos I want to add to the "My Fathers Last Days" series that will be shown in Rosebud in September. Here are some possibles:

1) The pain photograph of dad in bed. This print is a go, I have it 1/2 printed already.
2) The bars of light photo with dads eye looking through that was made a few days before he passed.
3) A 5x7 neg photo of dad lying in his coffin with blurred family around him.
4) One of the death portraits, a choice of one of the 5x7 negatives that I shot at the time of or within minutes of dads passing. I have not looked at any of these negs to closely yet as they were too tough to deal with. All that film is developed but has not been scanned or printed in anyway. I am not exactly sure what I have.
5) Many of the dad 35mm closeups with movement negs are also in contention. These are tough to print and would require plenty of work.
6) I might try printing some of the dad on bed with strong light/shadow images. I only printed 2 of those for the Louie Photography Gallery Exposure Photo Festival show, but might do more this time round.
7) Maybe I will also print the confused shot of my mother standing over my dads body minutes after he passed away. I had just woken her up and told her about dad, she was crying next to him. A sad bewildering picture for me.

Printing these photos might become easier with time, but right now I do not want anything to do with those negs, it's all too painful.

I have all the "Families of the Dump" pictures printed and waiting to be re shown but now with this new exhibition I have the chance to exhibit more of the dad pictures including some that were not made at the time of the previous opening. Dad passed away on Feb. 22 and the opening for the "My Fathers Last Days" photos at the Louie gallery was Feb 7th. I want to tell dads story in this new exhibition as well as I can.

Photo Idea: Trilogy?

Just read where Fazal Sheikh is doing a trilogy of books based around the Palestine-Israeli conflict. He is a master photographer with many top notch exhibitions and books to his name and I am a unpublished security guard. We are not in the same ballpark but I thought why not try to do something similar on my own (yes another project!).

I could do my cheapo version of the same project but instead of a trilogy of books published by a real publisher I could do a trilogy of blurb magazines. Maybe work on this project over a 3 longer trips in conjunction with something like the "Forgotten Laughter" "Families of the Dump" projects

What could I do 3 similar themed magazine books on? What subject? Maybe something related to the sex industry in Asia. I am not sure I want to enter that ugly world again thou.Something on the Burmese refugees? Migrant workers?

The trick is to find 3 compelling individual book subjects that also fit on overall theme that connects the trilogy.

If the book was on the sex industry. It could be a series of portraits and building/work site photos.

Magazine Book#1
Bargirl GoGo bar. Her life, her home, her apartment, her portrait, her with customers, her dancing. Sort of a behind the scene life of 5 or so women who work the bars. It would give a perspective on the Western sex worker scene.

Magazine Book #2
Brothel-Karaoke bar worker. A dangerous series to do but it would be the Eastern equivalent to the first book. Cover the areas local Thai men frequent, where many of the workers are trafficked women from Burma, Laos and Cambodia. The same types of photography, portraits, life away from the business (if there is a life away from it), customers etc.

Magazine Book #3
Former workers, past their prime freelance workers, there lives, homes, customers etc. This part of the series would concentrate on the lives of the older women who may have moved down the chain from the first to series to where they are now.

Probably spreading myself a bit to thin with another major project like this but it's fun to think of these things. It probably leads to nothing but projects like the sex workers on white shot with a 8x10 and studio flash started out as wacky ideas and I was able to run that through three different years and hundreds of pictures. Plus two shows one at a major USA photo festival and maybe a dozen online sites. Sometimes crazy ideas bare fruit.

Quote: Raymond Burr

"Try and live your life the way you wish other people would live theirs."

Art Acquisition By Application 2015 Submission

Finished my Art Acquisition 2015 submission, I will send it out tomorrow. The deadline is April 1 for those of you out there interested in making a submission. This year I decided to only submit work that is from previous shows. I have the work already printed and ready to go. If any photographs are purchased I will need to get it to the Alberta Foundation For The Arts folks on short notice. I figured it things would go a lot smoother if I already had the work printed and ready to go.

Next year I plan on submitting more of the "My Fathers Last Days" photographs. I will need to print more of that work first, which I plan on doing for the Rosebud exhibition scheduled for September.

Not sure if the strong documentary nature of my photographs fit the AFA mandate, but it is important to keep trying. No matter how many times you get kicked in the teeth, you got to keep trying. I am asking $700 for 16x20 versions of these prints. I believe that the AFA in general is not that interested in photography, but who knows one might sell and pay for about 1/2 my next plane ticket to Thai.

Here are this years submission photographs:

 Photograph from the "Families of the Dump" exhibition.

Young boy in garbage dump home, Mae Sot Thailand 2013

 Photograph from the "My Fathers Last Days" exhibition.

My father with pancreatic cancer, Edmonton Canada 2014

 Photographs from the "The Train Is Coming" exhibition.

Joon smoking Klong Toey slum, Bangkok Thailand 2011 

Old man drinking Klong Toey slum, Bangkok Thailand 2011

Boy on tracks Klong Toey slum, Bangkok Thailand 2011

Photo Story: Nepalese Street Kids Hugging While Sleeping

I have always loved this photo. It is the story of young love. these two young people have each other even thou they have nothing else. There is a sort of beauty in their love that's hard to ignore. I did not spend much time with them (should have spent more) but what I remember most about their relationship was how the boy later introduced me to his girlfriend with such pride. He said "This is my girlfriend!"  with a bit warm smile on his face. They are sleeping on the ground next to an open series of roads in Kathmandu Nepal. It was early around 6am, I arrived and made this photograph before they woke up.

I would like to go back and make more pictures of this group or another similar group in the future. They were difficult to work with, hard to build trust, drug use etc. Maybe I can go back and work with them again in the future. I did buy them rice and gave them other things. Giving money directly was a problem as it would go into the purchase of glue to sniff etc.

The picture was made with my standard 35mm gear. Leica M6 rangefinder, 28mm lens (I think),
Tri-x film exposed at 200 ASA. Developed in D-76 2-1 at 20C for 12 minutes 30 seconds, agitation the first 30 seconds and every 30 seconds for 5 seconds there after.

Young love on the streets of Kathmandu, Nepal November 2013

Lost Without Him

Feel down and depressed, thinking of dad a lot. Everything is so final, so finished. Never again will I have the chance to be with my father, never again a conversation or a joke. Everything seems less important, now that I cannot share it. It, our time together is all over now. I dream and think of dad hour after hour, but there is nothing to be done, nothing go look forward to. Everything feels so empty, there should be more but there won't be. Dad should have been given more time, but he was not. Every time I do anything I think about the time I did it with my father. All that is finished now and forever. How can I go on without him?

Over the next few weeks I will be working extra OT shifts at work, maybe it's a good thing to occupy my mind. The Thais always say when their down "Don't think to much." I need to not think to much now, to bring on more distractions.

Update* I reached out to my photography to feel better. Dug into my large photo book library and spent a hour and a bit looking through 4 different books. Looking at pictures is always soothing to me, it brings me into a different reality, something I required today. The pictures were soothing, I then took a hot bath, cleaned up and went to work in the darkroom. Photography is always my salvation, it saves me from the harder parts of living.

Digi shot of dad (82) #2, made in the late summer of 2014

Painting: Transfiguration By Raphael

Found out about this wonderfully dynamic and dramatic religious painting by Raphael. This painting was placed above Raphael's body when he died at 37 and was lying in state.

Here is a link to the pictures Wikipedia page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transfiguration_(Raphael)

Tranfiguration by Raphael 1516-1520

Poem: The Cold Kiss

           The Cold Kiss

A forehead warm and friendly

Why oh why, the need for change

Now quiet and missing, no reason or logic

Empty space, old things crowd your spaces

We who have felt the warmth, the goodness

Have no need for this cold brown makeup

Gone, the chance to make you proud

Remembered, the feeling of time together

This cold kiss, so dark and clammy

Be gone, bring back my father

Poem: The Funeral

         The Funeral  

Wet tears, Sweet flowers
Now silent, in peace

Flowing music, quiet friends

Long hugs, strong handshakes

Lost words, found memories
Last look, cold kiss

Frigid air, snowy hole

Box closed, then lowered

The end, only dirt

Link: Another Link To My Photos Of Sex Workers In Thailand

Found another link to my white background sex worker photos on a strong photo site. It is really quite amazing how the Slate.com story spread around the web. Not sure how many worldwide links feed back to Slate and the sex worker pics but there might be over 100.

This newest site has tons of great photography, it is called "Amateur Photographer". Check it out, I am sure you will find some photos you like there, I certainly did! Many of the photography links on the page are from Slate.com/Behold, other linked sites include:

boston.colta.guardian.kommersant.latimes.lenta.life.newyorker.nytimes.ria.slate.telegraph.
time.widerimage.wsj

http://amateurphotographer.ru/?tag=slate&paged=13
http://amateurphotographer.ru

Update* Not sure why but the site is currently down, check back later for links to all the various photography.

Thinking About Dad

I have been thinking a lot everyday about my father. Life sometimes is unfair, he worked so long until he was almost 80. After years and years of hard work he deserved to have a long period of non work relaxation. Instead about 2 years after he stopped working he died. The last year of his life was a slow decline with bad health. Dad only ended up with maybe a year of healthy non working time. He worked his whole life. My father left the farm and started working in a lumber camp when he was 16 and he continued to work hard until he was 79. He finally stops working and then he dies at 82? What the f-ck is that? Sometimes life is unfair, dad deserved at least a 10 year period of laying around enjoying life. He earned the chance to sit back and relax but he never got to do it.

Note* Look at dads hands in this picture. I always thought my father had such beautiful hands. His figures so straight and long, no arthritis, no veins, bad nails or loose skin. Even as dad got sicker and sicker his hands stayed beautiful. The last time I saw him in the coffin I looked at his hands and they still looked that way.

Digi shot of dad (82) made in the late summer of 2014

Quote: Ruth Ginsberg (US Supreme Court Justice)

"Women belong in all places where decisions are being made...It shouldn't be that women are the exception."

Re Studying Fazal Sheikh

I have taken my Fazal Sheikh books off the shelf and am restudying this important photographer. With his full body large format portrait work I love the way he uses space around his subjects. To often with my compositions I cut off things, feet, faces etc. FS uses the space around the subject to tell an important part of the story.

I need to study his work carefully and learn form it before proceeding with my large format series "Forgotten Laughter". I might also use the view camera to do the series on Asian migrant workers (no title for that project yet). I would like to include more details like peoples names and ages etc. as FS does, but how do you do that when your working alone and your subject speaks a different language? I need to become more fluent in Burmese, Khmer etc. With Thai/Laos/English it not a problem I can simply ask and write down the info but when my subject does not speak those languages I am trapped. FS must have had NGO workers, or translators helping him out, maybe an assistant to take notes etc. Doing it me, myself and I as I do makes some things more difficult.

Update: I have 3 books of photographs done by Fazal Sheikh, I bought 2 more off Amazon this week. I hope these new books will help with my growth as a photographer. Learning more about a great creative artist like Mr. Sheikh has to be a good thing.

Narawe Fausta with her daughter Esther and her newborn Mahantamba ("he who is born at the time of war"), Rwandan refugee camp, Lumasi, Tanzania, 1994, By Fazal Sheikh

Doing Email Submissions Tonight

Tonight on my security night shift I am doing a bunch of email submissions. I love the fact that more and more galleries and museums are advocating submission by email. When I did a search last night I found that many exhibition galleries ONLY want email submissions, that is a big change from a few years back. It makes sense for both the artist and the gallery,it is environmentally more friendly, it is fast and easy to do, it is way cheaper (basically free) and it allows the gallery to quickly assess whether the work is of merit and fits into their galleries mandate. You got to love the Internet! It opens up worlds of possibilities for the artist.

I sent them my current updated CV, a brief intro letter and 14 low res photographs from the "My Fathers Last Days" project. I showed a few of those photographs at the "Life on the Margins" exhibition (Exposure Photo Festival) and I will be showing more in Rosebud in September but I want dads work to find a larger exhibition audience. I need to show the prints at venues Canada wide, to tell dads story on a larger scale. My father is gone now but the photos live on, I need to get them seen.

Here are the places I have sent submissions to tonight. All allow or prefer email submissions and are Canada based organizations. Some of these are long shots and with others the work will no doubt not fit the gallery mandate, but it does not hurt to try. Too many people give up in life without giving it their best effort. Give them a try yourself! The more submissions, the more people showing work and creating, the better!

Update* Since it was fast, easy and free, I also sent the "Families of the Dump" to many of these galleries.

- Kimoto Gallery ("My Fathers Last Days")
- The Power Plant ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")
- Modern Fuel ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")
- Toronto Pearson Airport Terminal 1 ("Families of the Dump")
  (Doubtful I will have a chance here as the subject is probably to charged for their mandate.)
- Langham Cultural Centre ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")
- MacLaren Art Centre ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")
- MacKenzie Art Gallery ("My Fathers Last Days")
- Gallery 44 ("My Fathers Last Days")
- VAG Vancouver Art Gallery ("My Fathers Last Days")
- Gallery 295 ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")
- AGNS Art Gallery Of Nova Scotia ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")
- Harbourfront Centre Art Gallery  ("Families of the Dump" and "My Fathers Last Days")

A Motorbike?

I have been thinking that my best way to get around next trip in Thai is to rent a motorbike. I have driven a motorbike dozens of times in Thailand but it's a dicey thing. I have crashed a bike before and it left me very bloody and scraped up. For me both legs and one hand was left bloody. Many, many people die as a result of motorcycle accidents in Thailand. That is partly became there are so many of them and partly because of people not wearing helmets, speeding, drunk driving, driving the wrong way on roads, no lights, children drivers, overloading bikes and carrying to much non motorbike stuff while you drive. Once in Phuket Thailand I saw 2 guys carrying a full sized wooden door on a small 100CC motorbike.

With all these dangers, why ride a bike? Simple, it will probably make for better pictures. I can go where ever I want whenever I want. The bike will give me the freedom to explore, the freedom to make pictures in all kinds of secluded and distant locals. I will need to wear a helmet, need to be careful especially when I am carrying heavy camera gear and/or food donations. When your transporting extra stuff like 5x7 cameras, holders, a large tripod, a backpack plus donations of rice, canned fish etc., motorbikes can become a bit rather unwieldily. I will need to be extra careful when driving, in Thai they do weird stuff like drive on the left hand side of the road.

This motorbike thing is probably a no brainer, it is dangerous but the best way to go. Instead of paying for pickup and drop off each day I can just get on the bike and start driving. If I see something I like I can stop and make pictures. I do not have to trouble anyone and the cost will not be too much more than I am already paying. I would never drive a motorcycle in Bangkok traffic but out in the countryside I think I can do it safely.

 This is the blog they quote later when andif they write/speak about my motorcycle related death in Thai! :))

Motorcycle taxi driver with Thai woman riding side saddle, Bangkok Thailand.

Rural Thai family out on the town!

Where? To Find The Children For "Forgotten Laughter"?

The "Forgotten Laughter" project will be a series of large format portraits done of children living in poverty in South East Asia. As I was doing my first round tonight, I started thinking, which children? Where would I make the pictures?

I need to research this at length to find new locations, the possible places that come to mind immediately are as follows. I have photographed in these areas before so I know they would work.

1) Bangkok, Thailand Klong Toey slum, Thai children
2) Mae Sot, Thailand garbage dump, Burmese (Karen) children
3) Kathmandu, Nepal slums and street children, Nepalese children.
4) Poipet Cambodia slum, Cambodia (Khmer) children.
5) Bangkok Muay Thai slum gym, Thai children

I need to find other countries to make the "Forgotten Laughter" pictures, possibly Laos, Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippines and Vietnam. The ideal would be if I could do 200 strong portraits in 7-8 countries and then cut those down to a top 50 or 75 for the book.

Next Trip, When?

Now that my time with dad is over I need to start planning for the next photo adventure. I just checked out my work schedule for the coming year. I will need to stay in Canada until the end of October so that I can pick up the Rosebud prints from Southern Alberta gallery but after that it looks good.

If I get a leave from work I expect to take my next trip to Asia starting in November of 2015. The trip might last anywhere from 3 to 8 months. I could work on multiple photographic projects concentrating on the series I vowed to do for my father: "Forgotten Laughter". The project would be a series of 5x7 view camera portraits of children living in poverty in South East Asia.

If I cannot get a leave from work I am looking at a shorter Asian trip of 7 weeks or less, probably taken earlier in the year.

I need to get out and making new pictures as soon as possible. I feel a never ending thirst and a responsibility to tell those stories. By the time I start again I will be 51 years old, I am quickly running out of time to get the photographs made.

Box Set?

I need to try and generate some income through print sales. I was thinking of doing up a box set of 10 photographs and trying to sell them on E-bay and through the website and this blog. I would have to price this box reasonably for any chance at all of a sale and limit it to an edition of 10 or so boxes.

I might include a selection of b/w prints form the "Families of the Dump", "My Fathers Last Days", "The Train Is Coming" (Klong Toey Slum), "Muay Thai Boxers" series. Am not sure if I should include a few of the sex worker related photographs, will need to think about that. I do not want to play it safe with these photographs, I need to show the most compelling and strong imagery. For example I think I will include the "Pain" photo of dad that I was working on last week.

I would probably go with 11x14 size prints that were matted and shown in a nice archival presentation box of some kind. Maybe I could do this up for $750 or so, not a lot of change but certainly better than what I have now, $0.

$75 a 11x14 print is a great price. Not sure how much it would cost me to produce these box sets. I have a ton of 8x10 fibre paper going to waste, maybe I should consider a cheaper ($500) 8x10 box set version as well.

Based on my past print selling difficulties making these box sets is probably a waste of time. Still I need to try, maybe I can earn a plane ticket back to Asia out of this.

Poem: "The Kiss" By Robert Graves (1895-1985)

I discovered this poem today.

              The Kiss

Are you shaken, are you stirred

    By a whisper of love,

Spellbound to a word

    Does Time cease to move,

Till her calm grey eye

    Expands to a sky

And the clouds of her hair

    Like storms go by?

Then the lips that you have kissed

    Turn to frost and fire,

And a white-steaming mist

    Obscures desire:

So back to their birth

    Fade water, air, earth,

And the First Power moves

    Over void and dearth.

Is that Love? no, but Death,

    A passion, a shout,

The deep in-breath,

    The breath roaring out,

And once that is flown,

    You must lie alone,

Without hope, without life,

    Poor flesh, sad bone.

Audio: Voice Blog Number 1

Here is my first attempt at a audio voice blog, I might try to do more of these in the future.  It saves on writing time : )) The original wave file was made into a MP4 so I could upload it on blogspot. The strange thing that I just learned is the original Wave file is 279 MB and this converted MP4 file with black screen is only 8.2 MB. I seemed to have actually saved space buy converting my audio file to MP4, go figure! It must have something to do with the video format compression, you probably lose audio quality but it's certainly good enough sounding for this blog.

Audio: Voice Blog March 22, 2015

Mr. Audio, I Got My New Toys!

Well today in the mail I got my Edirol/Roland R-44 portable 24- bit 4 track field recorder and my Sennheiser EW 100 G3 wireless transmitter and receiver. With these new toys I can make quality audio. Tonight at work I got everything running and made up some recordings. Things sound NICE!

I was planning to make the video stories next week but am unsure now if I can do that. We are short staffed at work and next week on my regular week off I will be working some overtime. The OT will help with the $1100 bill for these items. There is a chance (not sure this is going to happen) that I might also be doing some workshops. Maybe even 4 workshops with 2 people from British Columbia. That would add another $440 to the audio fund IF it happens.

I think this will be an important buy for me. I especially am happy with the R-44 field recorder. I am thinking of including more audio now on the blog. I cannot place MP3 files or Wave files on blogspot (not sure why) but I could record a audio file and then make  into an MP4 (video) file which I could then upload. There is always a trick to these things!

I also plan to do more videos in the darkroom and elsewhere in the field for my YouTube and Vimeo channels. The audio recording equipment I received today will help with a professional sound for these online videos. I am finding that my video channels are really raising awareness about the photographs I am making. They are being watched worldwide. Just a few days I posted links to several vids that are on a Mumbai, India newspaper site. The videos provide me with free advertising, help educate and spread the joys of photography through my first hand experiences.

I have another goal which I am working towards with this audio. I want to try to incorporate photo stills and audio of my subjects. The goal is to somehow incorporate both into exhibitions of the work. I am not quite sure how to do that, more thought required. First I need to work these extra shifts to pay for this stuff!

Print: Dad In Pain 16x20

Here is tonights darkroom printing effort. I plan on showing this photo in Rosebud in September. This is print attempt number 5 of the dad pain photograph. Durst 1200 condenser enlarger, 50 mm El-Nikor lens. Negative 35mm Tri-x exposed at 800 and given STAND development.

- Ilford cooltone fibre 16x20 photo paper

- Developed 4 minutes (for deeper blacks) in Dectol 1/1

- Basic exposure 80 seconds at F5.6, filter #3

- Dodge head -40 seconds

- Mask #1 F 4 burn blanket +85 seconds

- Mask #2 F2.8 burn black areas of pillow and to the right +100 seconds

- Mask #3 HARD burn with flash light of fogged area of negative in upper right area of print. Blend carefully to avoid any sharp noticeable lines. Do 3 different flash light exposures moving the mask each time for blending. Allow a slightly raised edge on the mask to blur, blend, hide the exposure better.

Note* Dad saw an 11x14 version of this negative before he died. I told him I would use it in the Rosebud show and he was OK with that idea. I also showed him a second photo of him in bar like stripes of light with his eye staring back at the camera. I plan on printing the bar of light photo next on 16x20 paper. I might do more change outs than I originally thought of the "My Fathers Last Days" part of the Rosebud exhibition. I will probably have at least 15 prints made up for that section of the show (maybe more). I plan on printing up more of the intimate abstract negs.

Here is a video link to the dad magazine I had made up for the recent "Life in the Margins" Exhibition.

"My Fathers Last Days" Flip Through Magazine Video

Dad in pain about 1 week before he passed away, February 2015 

Detail

Strong Docuemntary: "India's Daughter"

Tonight in between times I am printing my first photo for the "My Fathers Last Days" series that I will show in Rosebud I am watching a very strong documentary film. The doc is made by the BBC and details the life and events surrounding 23 year old Jyoti Singh who was raped and murdered in Delhi India in late 2012.

Here is a link to the film. Please consider taking the time to watch it.

"India's Daughter"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_Delhi_gang_rape

Link: Ottawa Citizen Also Carrying the Exposure Interview Video

Guess were heading East. Earlier Larry W sent me some links to the Ottawa Citizen but the video part was not working so I did not mention it on the blog. I just found out the Ottawa Citizen online newspaper was now carrying the actual video made here in Edmonton by Larry Wong.

So we can add the Ottawa Citizen to the mix. There are 4 Western newspapers in Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver and Regina showing the vid and now 1 Eastern newspaper in Ottawa.

Exposure Photography Festival Interview, Ottawa Citizen

How To Best Use Sound?

I have been thinking of the best way to use sound in conjunction with my documentary still photography. What if I did portraits for the "Lost Innocence" project (young women brothel workers sold into the sex trade) and then also recorded their voices. I think it would humanize their story so much more. If the viewer in the gallery could not only see their faces, their eyes but also hear them speak, wow!

In the gallery I could have like 15 "Lost Innocence" brothel worker portraits on the walls, with a number or name besides each picture. I could then provide head phones and a small MP3 player (mounted under the picture, or available at the door). The viewer could select the photographed persons audio file and hear their voice! The problems would be making the recordings in the field and language problems. The subjects in Asia would not most likely not have any English skills so I would have to figure out some kind of translation system for the files. Maybe they speak for the first 10 seconds then a lady translator (would have to find and pay her) could speak in English. The gallery viewers in Canada-USA- England could then understand everything that was said.

The combination of still images and audio could lead to a very strong and moving exhibition. Who knows it might even help with some positive changes for those forgotten tortured young women.

Link: Leader-Post Exposure Exhibition Interview Video

The Exposure Photography Festival interview was also picked up by the Leader-Post in Regina. So that makes 4 online Western Canadian Newspapers showing the full video.

The Edmonton Journal, The Calgary Herald, The Province Newspaper (Vancouver) and The Leader-Post (Regina). Not bad at all! Thanks very much Larry Wong!

Here is the link:

Leader-Post

Links: Firstpost Shows Kassa Walk Through Video

Not sure if this has been posted before or not. This is another example of the value of doing show videos etc. My Kaasa show walk through YouTube vid was picked up by something called First Post which is like a newspaper looking type site out of Mumbai India.  Doing these vids and placing them online is another way to help tell the stories of your subjects.

Here is the link to "The Train is Coming" walk through video at the Kaasa Gallery):

Firstpost Mumbai India

Here is a link "The Train is Coming" final exhibition video, also on India's Firstpost site.

"The Train Is Coming" Exhiibtion Video

Photo Story: Khune Anapon Homeless In Bangkok

This photo was made on my last trip to Thai in November of 2013. It is a picture of Anapon a homeless man who lived near my hotel in Bangkok. He sleeps in a small home made of scrap wood under a freeway in the city. In the picture he is cooking some rice and an egg that he bought with a small amount of money I gave him. It is very rewarding to give money to someone and they immediately use it to buy food. One time when I donated rice in the dump this happened, the mother quickly started cooking it for her family. To know your donation is doing good is a great feeling. I need to do more of that next trip, maybe the photos don't help but you can help in other ways because of your photography.

The picture was made with a Leica M6 and I think a 28mm lens, and Tri-x exposed at 200ASA. I like the swirl of smoke made by the fire. Anapon is sitting in the doorway of his little homemade room. He had a bad leg and used the stick leaning up against the door to walk. Anapon is a very nice man, I hope to go back and photograph him again. I will try to meet up and make more pictures of him next trip if he is alive and still in the same location as before.

Khune Anapon Bangkok 2013

Sound Recording Equipment Buy

Spent over $1100 CAD tonight, ouch! I did not want to do it but wanted to make up my video stories for YouTube. To do that I needed pro level sound recording equipment. I can combine the sound files with my HD video camera to do up some decent quality VIDEO STORY films for YouTube. I want to do up 3 or 4 of them from the current Louie Gallery on 124 show. I might also try using this equipment in Thai next year to to tell other stories. I have been thinking of including audio files in my "Lost Innocence" series, maybe even in the "Forgotten Laughter" child poverty project.

Here is what I bought used from a fellow in Calgary on eBay.

Edirol/Roland R-44 Portable 24- bit 4 Track Field Recorder

Sennheiser EW 100 G3 Transmitter and Receiver

Impermanence

Life is so impermanent. We are here for a short time like my father and then we are gone forever. It is so important to use the little time we have wisely. Once that time is gone we end up bed bound and helpless. I am worried about leaving my job, about money about my mother etc but I need to use my time left as well as I can. A possible twenty years of shooting is not much. What that time has passed I need to have created the negatives of my lifetime.

I keep thinking back to my father in his final days. Dad could carry a fridge up a flight of stairs when he was in his early 70s but by the time he hit his early 80s because of cancer he could not even stand. Time time time, it is not limitless, I need to use mine wisely.

Hosting A ESP Meeting (Edmonton Society Of Photographers)

Well it looks like my turn to host a meeting for the boys in the Edmonton Society Of Photographers. Pretty well everyone else has already hosted a meeting and now it is my turn. I had been holding off because of dads health, I needed to have the meeting at his home but did not want to disturb him. Now that my father is at rest I can host the meeting. I talked to dad about this before he passed and he made some suggestions which I plan to use now.

I will need to show work from my lifetime as a photographer to show how my photography has developed since I was around 21 until now at 50. Basically a 30 year arch. I do not have much work scanned from the early years so I might start out from my first or second trip to Thai when I was 32 and 35 years old until today. So that would be only the last 18 years or so. I might try to show 10 pictures of each series I have done in that period of time. I would talk about the projects, my motivations etc and show the work.

I have a series of show prints stored at mom and dads house already I could bring up those prints and and also use a projector and my laptop to project work. Show photos, talk a lot and have a bit of food and my night is done. It should be fun, some of the guys know my stuff but only in segments, this would give them a better overall picture of its scope.

Possible subject sections for the talk (if I can find the scans?)

- West Oakland California ghetto, Sonny, Dupree, Lewis jazz and heroin drug use

- Laguna California the gay scene

- First trip to Thai, bargirl girl portraits

- Second trip to Thai, freelance sex worker series, street begging series

- 2003 trip bargirl shortime room series from Pattaya Thailand.

Shortime bar worker Thailand, 2003

- Brothel series from Poi Pet Cambodia

Vietnamese brothel worker Cambodia, 2003

-  Later series on prostitution in Thailand freelancers, bargirl etc

Long in short time sex room with her number Pattaya Thailand 2008

- Mixed Ladyboy worker series

Ladyboy sex worker Bangkok Thailand, 1996

- Large format white background sex worker series shot on 8x10 in 2007-09 and 2012

Male gogo bar sex workers Pattaya Thailand, 2009

- Large format portrait work done around Thailand and Laos.

Drunk man Klong Toey slum Bangkok, 2011

- Klong Toey Slum series, portraits from the slum in Bangkok

Young child behind iron gate Klong Toey slum, 2011

- Cambodian Slum Poi Pet

Boy pulling cart across border back into Cambodia, 2010

- Muay Thai boxers series, photos made at the Muay Thai boxing gym in Klong Toey

Bell 20 Muay Thai Klong Toey slum boxer, 2012

- Mae Sot garbage dump series "Families of the Dump"

Childern playing Mae Sot garbage dump, 2013

- Nepal documentary work with the street kids and the migrant labourers

Drugged street boy with dog Kathmandu Nepal, 2013

- Homeless in Bangkok

Anapon cooking rice Bangkok, 2013

- "My Fathers Last Days" series, photos of my fathers life and death year with pancreatic cancer

Dad living with pancreatic cancer Canada, 2014