Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Am Anxious

Am anxious about returning to the Mae Sot dump. The heat, the filth, the dying dogs, the bloody crawling cockroaches, rats and flies. Even at this point after I have spent hundreds of hours in the dump it is daunting, frightening, it all makes me uncomfortable, it worries me.

I need to go back, have friends there now, have responsibilities. I need to continue the donation work and continue to create photographs that tell the families, and the children's story. I need to buck up and gather a bit of courage and get this done. Once I am back in that world again, back doing what I have done before, things will become better. When I see those smiling faces saying "Ming Ga La Bah (hello)", hear the children's laughter, and meet and greet with everyone again things will be better. I will be comfortable and at ease again.

Sitting here now thou in Canada at my security desk as I type this I am anxious and worried. Will it all go OK? Will I be able to get all the donation stuff (boots, hats, money) to Mae Sot on my own? Will my back problems return? Can I make some good important photographs, or will I fail and not do the families justice with the work?