Hidden Desperation

When I first entered the world of the bargirl I was fooled by the Thai way of having fun and hiding their misery. In the bars when I would hang out there was laughing and playing, their was joking and kidding. At first it seemed like a happy place to me, later on as my Thai improved and my experiences in the bars numbered and grew, I saw the true nature of the place. I learned of the suffering, saw the tears and the hardships the girls under went. At first I did not see the hidden desperation of the bars but later I learned and saw the truth.

The same thing seems to be happening now in the slum. People laugh and smile at me all the time, they point at me and say "Farang mar (A farang is here!)" When I talk back to them and joke, they laugh and we tell stories to each other. On the surface over the last few years of trips to Klong Toey I have experienced this surface happiness hundreds of times, but now I start to see the sadness under the surface. I can now see more clearly the hidden desperation the people here suffer, the sadness in their lives, the effects poverty, lack of education, substance abuse, physical abuse and the problems of living daily in these poor conditions bring to the people of the slum. I am starting to understand a tiny bit what their lives are truly like.