Got the AFA grant rejection, am reposting my mistaken post from a few days ago.
The Alberta Foundation for the Arts jury pissed on my hopes and dreams again today, I got my latest artist grant request rejected today. They sent me the stock letter I have received 4 times now, with the generic no stuff. This is the 3rd time they have rejected the 'Families of the Dump", 4th time overall. Boy they will really love it when I make a request for "Lost Innocence", that rejection is already being prepared and I have not even wrote up the grant request yet. This is all so depressing. Same old same old letter so I will not bother retyping it just look up AFA rejection on the blog and you can read what they wrote the last 3 times.
To continue the "Families of the Dump"work I will have to do it 100% with my security money. It seems no one gives a flying f-ck about their story either, the galleries, the grant people all do not give a damn, my past work has failed to move them. I so want to take a positive yes letter from someone to read to dad before it's to late but that is just not going to happen, everything I try is coming back with no after no. Dad is going down, the people of the dump are forgotten, my submissions are failing, it's so hard to look at the world in a positive way right now.
Back to today's thoughts:
I need to buckle down, stop whining and work harder. I have to get in deeper, get closer to my subjects and make a larger more dedicated commitment. I also need to try to see things in new and exciting ways. It is easy to just do photography by the numbers, my friend Larry is teaching me to always be searching and questioning how I want to make your pictures. To often photography is boring we need to all reach out and make it unique and extroidinary. I should always be striving to create something new and to say it in a compelling powerful way.
If I end up getting a condo in Thai, and spend 4-6 months a year there starting in 3 or 4 years I will have no more excuses. I can get in very deep with my subject, whether it's Muay Thai boxers, slum portraits, families in a dump or sex worker stuff. I can spend months and months developing friendships and contacts, then I can live in that world and tell those stories at a deeper more personal level.
It looks like no grants are coming, no higher level shows are coming. I need to create, create and create some more. The best thing I can do is not let myself quit, not let myself get to down. Create for the sake of creating Gerry, forget everything else.
The Alberta Foundation for the Arts jury pissed on my hopes and dreams again today, I got my latest artist grant request rejected today. They sent me the stock letter I have received 4 times now, with the generic no stuff. This is the 3rd time they have rejected the 'Families of the Dump", 4th time overall. Boy they will really love it when I make a request for "Lost Innocence", that rejection is already being prepared and I have not even wrote up the grant request yet. This is all so depressing. Same old same old letter so I will not bother retyping it just look up AFA rejection on the blog and you can read what they wrote the last 3 times.
To continue the "Families of the Dump"work I will have to do it 100% with my security money. It seems no one gives a flying f-ck about their story either, the galleries, the grant people all do not give a damn, my past work has failed to move them. I so want to take a positive yes letter from someone to read to dad before it's to late but that is just not going to happen, everything I try is coming back with no after no. Dad is going down, the people of the dump are forgotten, my submissions are failing, it's so hard to look at the world in a positive way right now.
Back to today's thoughts:
I need to buckle down, stop whining and work harder. I have to get in deeper, get closer to my subjects and make a larger more dedicated commitment. I also need to try to see things in new and exciting ways. It is easy to just do photography by the numbers, my friend Larry is teaching me to always be searching and questioning how I want to make your pictures. To often photography is boring we need to all reach out and make it unique and extroidinary. I should always be striving to create something new and to say it in a compelling powerful way.
If I end up getting a condo in Thai, and spend 4-6 months a year there starting in 3 or 4 years I will have no more excuses. I can get in very deep with my subject, whether it's Muay Thai boxers, slum portraits, families in a dump or sex worker stuff. I can spend months and months developing friendships and contacts, then I can live in that world and tell those stories at a deeper more personal level.
It looks like no grants are coming, no higher level shows are coming. I need to create, create and create some more. The best thing I can do is not let myself quit, not let myself get to down. Create for the sake of creating Gerry, forget everything else.
