Sunday, July 8, 2018

Exhausted Caring For Mom

Spent the whole week with mom, some nights I slept over, other nights I snuck out after she went to bed. Mom got new medication this week after a geriatric doctors visit on Friday. The doctor says she has minor dementia.  It will probably get worse over time.

This week I cooked her meals, washed clothes, washed dishes, cleaned the house, took out the garbage etc etc etc. The most important thing was keeping mom occupied and calm while giving her her medications on time. I had to reply and interact with mom hour after hour, often repeating the same things 40-50-60 times. Moms short term memory is mostly gone, she writes note books (she is on her 5th) full of sentences to calm her self and occupy her mind and to remember things. Often she asks me to write something for her before she will copy it 1 to 40 times herself. Things like I WILL CALM DOWN AND RELAX or I TOOK MY ANXIETY PILLS AT 515pm.

When she tries to sleep I have been sitting on the floor next to her bed holding her hand and calmly saying...I WILL CALM C-A-L-M down D-O-W-N and relax R-E--L-A-X. I say those words and slight variations for 15 minutes or 30 minutes at a time. I will then sit on the floor quietly until she goes to bed, then sneak out of the room and try to close the doors without her waking. Mom wakes easily, many nights I have had to do this 4 or 5 times. The sleeping pills she gets now as part of her new prescription allow her to sleep 12 hours at a time (she has done that the last 2 nights, hopefully tonight as well).

Things have gone easier since the new pills on Friday. The new anti anxiety pill she got from the geriatric doctor should allow her to relax more and stop pacing and be so agitated. This pill take 30 days to fully activate and work properly, today was day 2 of taking them

I worry about moms well being next week, I have to go back to doing my 12 hour night shifts. We got home care workers to come in during the week to give her medication, and another full time worker to stay with her from 1245 till 9pm each day. We might also be trying to schedule a night shift person as well later.

Going back to work my night shifts should be a less physically taxing and much much less mentally taxing a week for me. I will need to check on mom everyday after work and probably before work. Need to also make up her constipation drink each day, feed her cat and make sure there are no other problems. I bought a bunch of frozen dinners for her tonight, I hope the worker can give them to her (still checking that out). I got a cell phone (hate the damn things) so that mom could call me 24/7 if there is a problem, or she needs help calming down etc.

Mom was so so happy she did not have to go to a home on Friday, she thought she was losing her independence and was very depressed and anxious about it. I want to keep her out of a home as long as I can, I owe that to my beautiful mother.