Gosh I sat down today and spent 3 hours or so trying to put together a slightly better webpage. I do not have the skills to do a high end page or the money to pay someone to do that for me. I think thou this coming version will be much nicer and simpler than the what is currently online at www.gerryyaum.com. I am going to keep the basic html code and try to spice things up as well as simplify. In this current version I will have 12 galleries on the gallery page and plan to have 12 photos per gallery. I wanted to cut down the photo numbers but I do not seem to able to do that. I might have to have 24 photos for some of the more extensively photographed series like, "Sex Workers", "Families of the Dump", "Klong Toey Slum" etc. This is going to take a long while to complete but its something I need to do.
Over the last few months I have been working on a funeral slideshow and video presentation for dad as well as the eulogy I will give. Doing these projects just breaks me down, by the end of a few hours I am pretty well worn out and spent. I needed something to distract me from the sad thoughts about dad, the webpage is easier and needs less concentration than the darkroom so I have chosen it for now.
Speaking of dad today I ate some Ukrainian kobasa (sausage) with him as well as some watermelon, we talked and shared some stories, it was a good day. When he is gone I am going to miss him so much, I am not sure how I will be able to take it, it will be even harder on mom. Poor dad he is doing everything he can to stay with us but it's all beyond our control, there is nothing anyone can do. Now every moment I have with him is precious, I wish I could stop time, I wish I could give him some of my years, I wish I could do anything to keep him alive.
Update* I was just thinking some more about what I wrote about loss and my questioning how I was going to live without dad. I am a 50 year old man who is losing his father, imagine what a 5 year old or a 15 year old feels like. Imagine a child in a slum with no one to look out for them, no one to protect them or earn money to feed them. I am so lucky to have what I had for as long as dad was with me. I am protected by my life in Canada, a privledged life my parents gave me through their hard work. I think back to some of the young faces I photographed in Klong Toey slum, or in the Mae Sot dump, many of those children are no doubt without fathers, what pain must they be going through? Now that is true heartache, that is real suffering, so, so much more than anything I am going through.
Over the last few months I have been working on a funeral slideshow and video presentation for dad as well as the eulogy I will give. Doing these projects just breaks me down, by the end of a few hours I am pretty well worn out and spent. I needed something to distract me from the sad thoughts about dad, the webpage is easier and needs less concentration than the darkroom so I have chosen it for now.
Speaking of dad today I ate some Ukrainian kobasa (sausage) with him as well as some watermelon, we talked and shared some stories, it was a good day. When he is gone I am going to miss him so much, I am not sure how I will be able to take it, it will be even harder on mom. Poor dad he is doing everything he can to stay with us but it's all beyond our control, there is nothing anyone can do. Now every moment I have with him is precious, I wish I could stop time, I wish I could give him some of my years, I wish I could do anything to keep him alive.
Update* I was just thinking some more about what I wrote about loss and my questioning how I was going to live without dad. I am a 50 year old man who is losing his father, imagine what a 5 year old or a 15 year old feels like. Imagine a child in a slum with no one to look out for them, no one to protect them or earn money to feed them. I am so lucky to have what I had for as long as dad was with me. I am protected by my life in Canada, a privledged life my parents gave me through their hard work. I think back to some of the young faces I photographed in Klong Toey slum, or in the Mae Sot dump, many of those children are no doubt without fathers, what pain must they be going through? Now that is true heartache, that is real suffering, so, so much more than anything I am going through.
