Quote: Justin Trudeau

“To those fleeing persecution, terror & war, Canadians will welcome you, regardless of your faith. Diversity is our strength.”

Photo Idea: ULF Portraits Of Mom

Thinking of doing a series of headshot portraits to document my mothers fight with her illness (dementia?). Possibly with a ULF 11x14 camera or the 16x20 Chamonix camera (first time I would be using this camera). Would try these portraits with shorter focal length lens to create some distortion along with shallower depth of fields. In studio on white background? Or under natural light? Am not sure just yet. I might be able to use the negs to do platinum prints later on, or at worst large effective silver gelatin prints.

David Goldblatt Dies At 87

The compassionate and important social documentary humanitarian photographer David Goldblatt died today. I heard him speak several years back in New Orleans, a wonderful man who did very important work. He left a legacy of very important photographs behind what will continue to speak for him.
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By AFP

JOHANNESBURG: South African photographer David Goldblatt, whose work documented the abuses and divisions of apartheid, died in his sleep on Monday, a leading gallery announced. He was 87.  

"He passed away peacefully in his sleep at 5:37 am (0337 GMT) in his home in Johannesburg," Liza Essers, the director of the Goodman Gallery, told AFP.
He will be buried Tuesday in Johannesburg.
For millions of people outside South Africa, Goldblatt work's lifted the veil on the nightmare of apartheid, under which the white-minority government's enshrined racial divisions under law from 1948.
In 1988, he was the first South African to be given a solo exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York.
A year later he founded the Market Photography Workshop in Johannesburg in 1989, which has since become a hub for developing young talent in the city.
In post-apartheid South Africa, he remained a revered figure and even turned down a national honour in protest against a proposed state secrets bill in 2011.
Two years later then president Jacob Zuma refused to sign the bill, which would have imposed penalties of up to 25 years in prison for the release of top secret documents, and sent it back to parliament.
"We have lost yet another of our own celebrated photographers, who through the lens built a reputation as one of the country’s leading documenters of the struggles of our people," President Cyril Ramaphosa said in a statement.
"He captured the social and moral value systems that portrayed South Africa during a period of the apartheid system in order to influence its changing political landscape," said the president.
South African art conservator Monique Vajifdar described Goldblatt as "one of South Africa's most accomplished social chroniclers."
"A great tree has fallen and we have lost one of our national living treasures," said Vajifdar.
He is survived by his wife Lily, three children and grandchildren.

South African photographer David Goldblatt poses on January 11, 2011 at Henri Cartier-Bresson Foundation in Paris, on the eve of the start of his exhibition. (File Photo | AFP)

Moms Health Problems Get Worse

Moms health continues to deteriorate, we will have to admit her to a long term care dementia facility of some kind. Spent the last 3 nights and days taking care of mom full time, there were multiple ambulance calls-visits and a hospital visit. She is very confused and constantly demands medicines and calls to 911 for an ambulance.

I have to start working night security again soon, will try to get mom admitted into hospital today (the last attempt failed). Am working on the necessary steps to get mom the proper help at a long term care facility where she can have 24 hour nurses.

Art Acquisition Rejection 2018

Got a another rejection email from the Art Foundation of Alberta today. This reject was for the 5 new colour images form the 2018 trip to the dump in Thailand. I guess they did not like the story of the lives of "Families of the Dump"
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Thank you for your application to the Alberta Foundation for the Arts Art Acquisition by Application Program. There were a total of 670 works submitted for consideration, received from 165 artists across the province.

Your submission has been assessed by an expert panel, comprised of members from the Alberta art community. I regret to inform you that the work you submitted for this deadline was not selected for acquisition. It is disappointing to be rejected yet again, I could have raised awareness of the lives of the families and made a bit of money (greatly needed) as well. Here is the rejection email.

Update* I might try the Japan subway "KODOKU" (solitude) pictures next year.
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We appreciate your interest in the programs offered by the AFA and encourage you to apply at the next available deadline, which is April 1st, 2019.

You can find the most recent Expert Panel feedback in the guidelines of the Art Acquisition by Application funding opportunity, under the drop down section "Helpful resources". Alternatively, you can find this information for all project opportunities on our Expert Panel feedback archive page.

https://www.affta.ab.ca/expert-panel-feedback-archive

If you have any questions regarding your application, please contact Elizabeth Capak at 780.638.2850. If required, a toll-free connection is available by first dialing 310.0000.

Yours sincerely,

E--- M------

Manager, Art Collections

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Here is a link to the rejected photographs. The best I can do, the best I have ever done, of the most important worthwhile subject I have ever photographed and it is still not good enough for the AFA jury.

http://gerryyaum.blogspot.com/2018/04/alberta-foundation-for-arts-art-by.html

Email: Moms Dementia?

Yesterday was most difficult day of my life and of course much much more difficult for mom. My wonderful mother has what might be an early form of dementia. I am not sure if that is the diagnosis but that seems like it might be the case. Here is part of an email I wrote to my uncle and aunt, my mothers older brother and sister in law.

For the first time in my life I was the caregiver to mom. Never before have I not did everything she asked, but now it seems she does not understand any longer and I must make some choices for her. Starting to tear up again, best to just paste the email and try to sleep some more before I go back to visit mom and check on her progress. Need a bit more sleep now, was up for around 26 straight hours yesterday after around a 4 hour sleep the night before.

What my mother is going through is likely going to be much worse than dads 13 month fight with pancreatic cancer. I am going to need to help mom as much as I can, to make her next journey a tiny bit easier. If anyone deserves to be taken care of it is my mother. She always put every ones well being ahead of her own. Mom took care of my grand mother for many years as her health slowly deteriorated,  she took care of my father when he got sick with cancer (mom would not let him go to a dying hospital, she cared for him at the home he loved till he died) and she took care my sister when she had her many family troubles over the years. Mom has always been so caring and loving to me as well, always worried about my travels, always hugging and kissing, always wanting what was best for me

Here is the email to my uncle and aunt about what happened last night.

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Uncle F-----Aunt J----

I was with mom in the R---- A---- (hospital) emergency until 255am, around 10-11 hours. The doctor decided to admit mom because she has a urine (bladder) infection, they want to give her and IV to fight the infection. She will stay in the hospital a minimum of 2 days, possibly longer. When I left she was getting the IV injection and after that she was going to be taken up to the ward to sleep. 

Today was a terrible day for mom. I am now pretty much convinced she cannot live alone any longer unless there is improvement on a very large scale. She was very confused, asking me the same questions over and over again. Some questions I answered upwards of 50 times. Sometimes 1 minute (or less) after I answered the question she would ask it again, and then 40 seconds after that ask it a 3rd time again. If I did not answer it quick enough mom would try to go to the nurses counter to ask in person (even thou she had asked them 5 or 6 times already).

Things got really bad with mom at the end where she could not stop pacing (after midnight) and kept asking the nurses for nausea medication. Even after they gave her some she almost immediately forgot they had given her anything, within about 3 minutes she had forgotten and was asking for more. And then I needed to tell her 20 or so times that she had taken the medication. And explain 40 or so times when the doctor was coming, what was taking so long, what the next steps were in her care etc. She asked to go home maybe 25 times, said she wanted to die 2 times. The whole evening was so difficult for her. Before tonight I kept thinking she would get better, but now I think the illness is in her mind and there will be no magic cures, this is probably forever. Mom kept asking for a pill that would make her better, it broke your heart. She kept saying "Gerald take me home, I want to sleep. Gerald I feel so nauseous, I feel like throwing up. Gerald why can't they give something to help me, make me feel better."

Being in emergency was very stress full her. What I found was the best way to calm her down was to hold her hand when she walked, and walk slowly while talking to her of something from the past, something she remembered well. Before I had been walking beside her but holding her hand and talking was much better. Then I would ask her to sit down, and I sat directly across from her holding both hands and moving them up and down a little bit, up and down. Then I would ask her stories about Baba and Gido (Grandmother-Grandfather) or Uncle F---- and Uncle M---- and she would relax some. Instead of jumping up and walking again after 30 seconds or maybe 1 minute I could hold her in her chair using this method for up to 10 minutes. Then we would walk, hold hands and talk, then sit with 2 hand holds and talk, then walk etc...did that maybe 7-10 times before the doctor came and told us what I was happening and I finally got her to lie down in the bed and relax a bit.

.............

.............

Thanks for listening Uncle F---- and Aunt J----, it helps me to write these notes.....Gerald

Quote: Joseph Goebbels

"Make the lie big, keep it simple, keeping saying it and eventually they will believe it."

Links: Learning Tagalog

I have started to learn Tagalog for my anticipated 2019 trip to the Philippines (my first trip). Here are some links I have been using to study, just in case you all want to learn with me. Things are coming along slowly after 10 months or so of intensive effort I might be able to speak in simple ways directly to the Filipino people, more importantly I can hear what they are telling me. Only after listening and learning from them can a bit of understanding happen.

Good YouTube Video Tagalog Teaching Source
Online Google Dictionary With Audio, English To Tagalog

FACEBOOK Post Update With Link

Gerry Yaum

Hey all, since my return to Canada II have not really done much facebooking. Felt I sort of overdid it a bit in Asia. Now I am chilling in Canada, getting healthy, and doing post photo work in the darkroom and on the computer. Am also taking care of my mother whose health has deteriated. She is doing a bit better now, so feel good about that.

Am reading the life story of a Irish priest in the Philippines. A fascinating tale of a mans fight for the rights of the poor. Father Shay has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize 4 times. If any of you are interested below is a blog link with the book title etc. I contacted Father Shay who kindly invited me to visit him in the Philippines at his aid organization PREDA. He also wrote me an incredibly nice and inspiring email related to the dump "Families" work in Mae Sot. 

Because of this new book and the important work being done there I have decided that I need to go to the Philippines next trip (Thai and the dump also). To that end I have started to learn Tagalog (Filipino). My head hurts!!!! Learning a language at 54 is daunting. I think Tagalog can be learned thou, all it requires is enough determination and effort. Still it hurts my itty bitty mind! I keep forgetting and getting the words mixed up but it is coming slowly, slow and steady.
AKO MATUTO SA MAGSALITA TAGALOG...

I think that means, "I am learning to speak Tagalog". Need some Filipino friends to practise with. Hopefully I can go to the Philippines next year to make photographs and visit Father Shay and PREDA. I also want to photograph and meet families living in Manilas graveyards and in the imfamous Tondo slum. Never been to Phil so it all is a bit iffy, a bit dangerous, but you got to try to do new stuff, chase new opportunities, enter new lives, make new friends and photographs. At one time going to the dump in Mae Sot seemed iffy, dangerous and difficult. Now not so much! Now the dump is filled with friends, some very close. Here is the link to the book.
Hope your all well...IBIG (love) Gerry

https://gerryyaum.blogspot.com/2018/06/passion-and-power-by-fr-shay-cullen.html 

Wrote Fr. Shay

I wrote Father Shay a few days back, thanked him and told him about the work being done in the Mae Sot dump. We have exchanged a few emails since then then. What a generous good hearted man. His note is extremely encouraging and inspiring especially after all the recent grant and gallery rejections.

Here is the email. Please if you can donate to his organization which helps the Filipino people, PREDA. If I visit the Philippines I plan on visiting Preda and Fr. Shay. Might try to go there for the first time next year.

Letters like this from a good man who sacrifices to help others berfore himself are so uplifting. I thought I would share the email with you all.

Note* Fr Shay has been nominated for the Nobel Peace prize 4 times.

Dear Gerry,

I say congratulations on your great  charity work ,fundraising , and leading a life worth living  helping others and documenting and advocating for the  poor.  The photos are  excellent and well done.  If you are ever you can visiting the Philippines you are very welcome to visit me here in Preda ,at Olongapo City.  Keep up the good work and your photography  you are a great example to others too and inspiring many people with your good works. Well done !!    Every  success in finishing the book ,where did you find it ?

Every blessing and happiness   

Fr.Shay  

www.preda.org

"Passion And Power" By Fr. Shay Cullen

A few days back I started to read a book written by Father Shay Cullen who is an Irish catholic priest living and working in the Philippines. He has been living with the poorest of the poor and helping those in need for over 30 years now. Father Shay's book is a difficult but very important read. It deals with his life in the Philippines and the fight against the exploitation of children and young women working the sex bars of the Philippines. Father Shay's work with the poor, corruption in the country, many beautiful and sad stories are covered. It is a book of heart and caring. I recommend it to everyone out there. Please take the time to buy and read it.

Passion and Power by Father Shay Cullen

Quote: Will Rogers

"Don't let yesterday take up to much of today."

Quote: Dalai Lama

"Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can't help them at least don't hurt them."

Gallery Rejection Note

Another gallery rejection, do not even remember submitting work to this place. Nice of them to send me the generic note.
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Hello,

Thank you for submitting a proposal for the 2019 exhibition season at the Harris-Warke Gallery and please forgive the delay in providing a response. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you a show at this time.

We were encouraged by the response to our call for submissions and received individual and group proposals representing both emerging and professional artists.  We selected eight shows that reflect diverse practices and we look forward to presenting the results in the gallery next year.

Thanks again for your interest. As fellow artists, we appreciate you taking the time to prepare a proposal and enjoyed learning about your work.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us. 

We wish you success in your continued work.

Mom Dad Dream

Am back after 3 days camping. On the second night I had a dream about mom and dad. They were laying in a hospital bed dad was hugging mom, there were tubes, medical tubes of all kinds attached to their bodies. Dad had a tube down his nose, mom had a IV in her arm, there were many other tubes hooked up to big machines. It was a frightening look, a scary dream. The strange thing was they seemed content, and happy in a way.

Mom is in the hospital until the 14th at least, dad is gone. I wish I would stop having dreams like this. I miss dad so much. How much time does mom have left?

Off Camping

Am off camping for 3 nights, to Jasper Alberta. It should be a nice change of pace of the craziness of the last 1/2 year plus. Going to take some stereo photos, eat, read, sleep and hike about. The beauty of nature will be a nice soothing experience after the dump world and my hectic return to Canada.

Update: Saw a bobcat behind my campsite. It was rather amazing, it was the first cat of any kind I have ever seen in a Canadian national park.

Toronto "Families of the Dump" Presentation Completed

Finally completed the long (166mb) word presentation on the "Families of the Dump" for Bob C in Toronto. It was a long and sometimes painful process but I managed to put together something that I hope will work. I made both a longer worded and shorter worded version.

Basically it broke down to the following sections. a biography-references , a CV, a artist statement, a series of blog stories written from 2013 to 2018 with accompanying pictures (lots and lots of pictures). It ended with a section on the donation work done and the hoped for future donation efforts.

Glad that paper work is done with, at least I hope that's the case.

Hopefully this will all lead to more exposure for the work, more exhibitions and more importantly some solid fundraising for the families. Social documentary photography is all about helping people, lets do some of that!

Quote: Ted Kennedy (Eulogy To His Brother Bobby)

"Bobby should be remembered simply as a good and decent man who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it."

The Real Me? Taking Off My Mask

One bad part in all of this down east major opportunity is that Bob has asked me to come out from behind my Gerry Yaum pseudonym and use my real name for this project, exhibitions and fundraising efforts (assuming they happen). The reason being is that people will not give money to a guy not using his real name, they worry about fraud etc. I can understand that, helping the people would pull me away from the name, it is that important.

I hate leaving Yaum behind thou, I would rather say Yaum forever. Who the f-ck cares about the real me? I am of no importance. Too many folks everywhere, all the time are selfishly worried about getting famous, putting their name on a wall, having everyone pat them on the back etc.  I have never been into that. Flattery has always made me cringe. I want the work and the stories to be famous of course, to have a far reaching and lasting impact but I could care less about the rest.

I hope I can stay Yaum, but it might be impossible to do.

Working On A "Families Of The Dump" Presentation

Over the last month I have been working on a presentation of the "Families of the Dump" project. It will include a biography of myself (requested) as well as section detailing fundraising. The entire presentation needs to be completed by this coming Tuesday. I will then send it down East to my contact, Bob C in Toronto. Hopefully this will lead to an exhibition in Toronto during the Scotiabank Contact Photography Festival 2019. There might also be a fund raiser to help the the families and the potential for more than one exhibition, possibly multiple exhibitions in Ontario and Quebec.

Will see how this all goes down, lots of loose strings, not sure if any good things will happen or if it will all lead to nothing. We can only try to do our best, and hope for a positive outcome!!

Quote: Georg Buchner (German Writer)

"Once should try it, immerse oneself in the life of the lowest of the low, reproduce his every gesture and twitch, his innuendos, the whole subtle and scarcely noticeable play of his features....No man should appear too lowly or ugly for one. Only then can one understand mankind."