Two night ago while sitting (spent 30-40 minutes talking up front) outside a blowjob bar, with G and next to 13 other women workers I was asked by G. “What do you think of a girl that works this job?” We we’re speaking Thai many of the women workers nearby could over hear our conversation.
How do you answer a question like that? With honesty. I said “The ladies here work to help their families, their children. The women here work a very difficult job because they need money to help their families. I understand that, so I respect them for that. That is what I think”
Even after years and years of working this kind of work (G is 43), she is still bothered by what she does, worried about what others think. She wants to know what me a relative stranger thinks of it all.
Many, probably most women working the bars - Gogos- massage parlours - brothels etc. in South East Asia, do so to support their own children along with large extended families.
Many, probably most women working the bars - Gogos- massage parlours - brothels etc. in South East Asia, do so to support their own children along with large extended families.
While I was there 3 younger Chinese men showed up and went into the bar, they talked shyly amongst themselves before entering. 2 or 3 older guys also showed and walked in with much more confidence. How can they use women this way? Can they not see the reality of these women’s lives? Their individual humanity is invisible to these CUSTOMER men? Is it only about getting their personal needs met? Nothing or no one else matters?
I will return to talk and hopefully eventually make some portraits that will tell some important stories of otherwise mostly forgotten lives.
Note* Just to be clear on what’s what. A BJ bar is a bar that specializes in oral sex. The customer comes to the bar chooses a worker (usually an older lady, younger women work places they can make more money), is taken in, washed up. Then the work is done. When completed the customer usually gives the girl a tip and leaves. I believe a set fee is paid up front, not sure on that as I have never photographed in a bar like this before. With the shortime sex bars I photographed in back in 2003 for the bar girl portrait shortime room series (never exhibited), that is the way it was done, money up front.
Note** I use the word customer because that is the word in English or Thai that the worker (male, female or ladyboy) uses.
Note *** G is not her real name.
Note**** I have been asked to come back and talk some more at two different bars by different workers (G and B) “See you tomorrow has been spoken several times.” Even thou I never go into the bars or spend money I am welcomed back, good people, living difficult lives. Gosh life can be so complicated sometimes, nothing is black or white, the world is filled with greys.
