I feel restless. It is 426am and I have not been able to sleep since 253am. My alarm is set for 5am for a 530am pick up at and drive to the dump with Pee Noy. Why can't I sleep? Am plenty tired but feel restless.
Thoughts of the families at the dump, things I have seen this trip. The children, the toys handed out, food, the looks in peoples eyes fill my thoughts. The pictures made so far, the pictures to be made. Fears, hopes things I worry about and afraid of keep me awake. Will I fail to make strong enough photographs? Fail to tell this story honestly and forcefully?
How to donate the rest of the money? What sum to give Fred S's foundation "Eyes to Burma?" Should I donate to the school as well again? The local free health clinic (know they are doing good work but have not experience with them or contacts).
I have so many people asking for stuff now. I owe boots to 3 folks, how to carry them all along with my heavy view camera gear. I promised rice to one family and there are 2 or 3 new families who are sleeping in the open with little shelter wanted to give to them as well. How can I carry it all? I need to get more pictures of people wearing hats for my company back in Canada, they want to post it on their web page system.
Where can I get the pictures exhibited in Canada? Will any gallery of consequence accept the work? What about the bride and grooms baby Chemenko? I photographed him again yesterday, what will his future be? His eyes looked so desperate, she carried him bare bottom around the dump. Can I do anything to help. What about the young boy who held my finger and walked me to the birthday party, what of him? The little girl with shaved head who looked at me with such beautiful innocent eyes yesterday, what of her? She has smiled at me every time we meet this trip. Earlier in 2015 she did not trust me, looked at me with some fear but now all I see is happiness and curiosity on her young face when we meet and she gazes up at me with her beautiful eyes.
These thoughts fly this way and that way through my mind, am unable to sleep, unable to settle things in my head. Time to have a bit of food, take a shower can gather my gear, the dump calls me again today. What will I find? What memories will stay with me? What effect will it all have on tomorrow nights sleep?
Thoughts of the families at the dump, things I have seen this trip. The children, the toys handed out, food, the looks in peoples eyes fill my thoughts. The pictures made so far, the pictures to be made. Fears, hopes things I worry about and afraid of keep me awake. Will I fail to make strong enough photographs? Fail to tell this story honestly and forcefully?
How to donate the rest of the money? What sum to give Fred S's foundation "Eyes to Burma?" Should I donate to the school as well again? The local free health clinic (know they are doing good work but have not experience with them or contacts).
I have so many people asking for stuff now. I owe boots to 3 folks, how to carry them all along with my heavy view camera gear. I promised rice to one family and there are 2 or 3 new families who are sleeping in the open with little shelter wanted to give to them as well. How can I carry it all? I need to get more pictures of people wearing hats for my company back in Canada, they want to post it on their web page system.
Where can I get the pictures exhibited in Canada? Will any gallery of consequence accept the work? What about the bride and grooms baby Chemenko? I photographed him again yesterday, what will his future be? His eyes looked so desperate, she carried him bare bottom around the dump. Can I do anything to help. What about the young boy who held my finger and walked me to the birthday party, what of him? The little girl with shaved head who looked at me with such beautiful innocent eyes yesterday, what of her? She has smiled at me every time we meet this trip. Earlier in 2015 she did not trust me, looked at me with some fear but now all I see is happiness and curiosity on her young face when we meet and she gazes up at me with her beautiful eyes.
These thoughts fly this way and that way through my mind, am unable to sleep, unable to settle things in my head. Time to have a bit of food, take a shower can gather my gear, the dump calls me again today. What will I find? What memories will stay with me? What effect will it all have on tomorrow nights sleep?
