Dad was better tonight, eating a bit more during the day. He seemed happy that I am doing all this photo show stuff for him. He is happy he will be remembered and talked about. Mom read him the statement, poem etc plus the saw the colour picture I will show when he was healthy. I told him the gasp story and he seemed to like that as well.
When I visited today we spent lots of time going over old pics. I put a bunch on a USB stick and showed it to mom and dad on the their new Sony TV. I will put more and do the same tonight (639am as I write this, been working much of the night). We also talked what photos he wants in the journal and funeral card.
Dad does not walk anymore and even standing for him is difficult. Mom and I have to move him in the wheelchair to his bedroom at night, then we move him till he is comfortable in bed. I so want dad to stay with us but I also do not want him to suffer. I think he has entered the badder part of all this. At least he does not seem to be in any pain. What bothers him is losing all the freedoms he has lost, he hates to be a bother to anyone. I told him not to worry about that, that I enjoy helping him. I tell him that he took care of me for so long whats wrong with me doing the same for him? He does not see it that way, he hates being a burden or bother.
At least his head is clear he can talk and think clearly and still can eat and enjoy food. When your 1 year into pancreatic cancer you got to take and enjoy whats left for you, not worry about what you lost. The problem is each day, what you got gets smaller and smaller.
Three years ago he came to my last show at the Louie gallery, he was healthy walking, laughing and smiling. How quickly stuff changes. The other day I saw the brown vest he wore that night, the vest is the same but dad has changed. He wants to come to this show but its impossible of course. We all need to take advantage of our days while we can, things change in a heartbeat.
When I visited today we spent lots of time going over old pics. I put a bunch on a USB stick and showed it to mom and dad on the their new Sony TV. I will put more and do the same tonight (639am as I write this, been working much of the night). We also talked what photos he wants in the journal and funeral card.
Dad does not walk anymore and even standing for him is difficult. Mom and I have to move him in the wheelchair to his bedroom at night, then we move him till he is comfortable in bed. I so want dad to stay with us but I also do not want him to suffer. I think he has entered the badder part of all this. At least he does not seem to be in any pain. What bothers him is losing all the freedoms he has lost, he hates to be a bother to anyone. I told him not to worry about that, that I enjoy helping him. I tell him that he took care of me for so long whats wrong with me doing the same for him? He does not see it that way, he hates being a burden or bother.
At least his head is clear he can talk and think clearly and still can eat and enjoy food. When your 1 year into pancreatic cancer you got to take and enjoy whats left for you, not worry about what you lost. The problem is each day, what you got gets smaller and smaller.
Three years ago he came to my last show at the Louie gallery, he was healthy walking, laughing and smiling. How quickly stuff changes. The other day I saw the brown vest he wore that night, the vest is the same but dad has changed. He wants to come to this show but its impossible of course. We all need to take advantage of our days while we can, things change in a heartbeat.
