Crazy Day

Had a busy busy day today. The day started out with 2 no shows for shoots. I was hoping to finish the ringflash color work in the morning but 3 ladyboys who were supposed to come for photographs before my 12pm checkout time did not show. I walked the beach and made a few photographs. I then discovered the flash hotshoe from my Hasselblad XPAN was GONE! How the hell do you lose a hotshoe? Of all the cameras I have ever owned (dozens of cameras) I have never lost a hotshoe, guess there is a first time for everything. I bought the camera second hand on Ebay it must been damaged by the previous owner. When I returned to Bangkok later in the day I had to do a emergency run to the shop that got me the adaptor ring for my other Hasselblad. The owner doubted he could get me an XPAN hotshoe but will try to adapt another hotshoe to work. If the hotshoe does not work I will have to sinc the flash using a sync cord. A repair in Canada would probably cost over $150, here in Bangkok it might cost $33 or less. I left the camera with the store and will hear back from him in the next 2 days.

Later that evening I returned to Sukhumvit road the place I made most of my 1999 street photographs. It was sort of nostalgic in a weird sort of way. I even met a American man (H) I knew from that period a man I had not met in at least 5 years. I stumbled onto to him in the parking lot of a hotel he frequents and without batting and eye it took him about 2 seconds after seeing me to say "Hi Gerry, how you been?" Was nice to talk to him, he had recently had some health issues and seemed quite humble and relaxed. We had a nice 45 minute conversation I even talked to him about having a long term relationship and he said that it would be the ideal situation. We all need love, someone to trust and someone who worry and take care of us. Even men who had sex with thousands of women have the the need to find a girl that will love them and be with them full time. H talked to me of a 67 year old man who was in longterm with a 24 year old Thai lady and seemed quite envious. I think I stereotype people at times and sexpats who engage in sex with countless women are easy to judge in a negative way. Now that I have known several hardcore sexpats for 10 years plus I can see a bit of their own humanity, see a bit clearer their need for love and companionship. Talking to these fellows now after 10 years I can understand their loneliness a bit, and see them as more of a shade of grey than in simple black and white terms. Before I saw them wearing a black hat and now see them as wearing a blackish grey hat. I am not sure that is much of an improvement but heck it does make them more human and more real. I think I might like to try do some white background portraits of these fellows at some future date if they will allow me to photograph them.

I ended up photographing 5 ladies tonight to make up four the 3 ladyboys missed earlier in the day. I photographed 3 older ladies early in the evening before my talk with H and 2 later in the evening after midnight. I am finished doing the ringflash color stuff (did about 25 photo sessions) and am happy that this part of the photographs is done. I think I made some good photos especially at the beginning of the night when I did the first 3 who were all older 44 to 57 years old. One of the ladies Mai was quite angry at the beginning of the session and was difficult to handle but I tried to be as polite as I could and treated here with respect using the Thai words for politeness as often as I could. I do not blame here for being angry toward a farang she did not know, being 57 and working as a sex worker is not easy, her life must be filled with sadness. I hope I can get to know her better and at some future date and make more portraits of her. When I left her both her and Pun another lady I photographed waved goodbye to me with a smile.

I spoke a ton of Thai today my fear of the language has vanished and I jumped in speaking at any opportunity. I even learned all about my taxi drivers life on the way to my room after the days shooting. I also played my first Thai chess on the street in several years, it was fun and I was competitive until the end game when the Thai man I was playing (he the help of his 2 friends) got a slight advantage and won with some difficulty. They asked me to return to play them again the next day, it was lots of fun to joke with them and to smash the pieces down on the wooden board while saying ROOK (check).

The thing I need to do now that the sex worker photos are done with is to photograph people on the street with the same ease. I need to move outside that comfort zone I talked about before and create photographs in a new form. Damn I wish I had more time, I have only about 18 days, 17 actually as it is 620am and I exhausted. Tomorrow will probably be a non day as I need to load film and unpack from my trip South.

It was a fun day, hard day, unlucky day and lucky day but need to move on to better photographs. I am excited by the possibilities.

Two Peoples?

I have noticed more then ever how there seem to be two distinct worlds in the bar areas. There is the Thai world and the farang world. Many farang hang out in groups and seem oblivious to the Thai world around them. I met a farang on the beach the other day who told me he had lived in Thailand for the last 5 years but did eat Thai food only farang food. How the hell do you live in Thailand and not eat Thai food? This same man had an eye for the girls as we talked, I sort of felt like I was observing a different world than his because right in the middle of our conversation he would become distracted and start commenting on some Thai girl near by (legs, face, breasts). Here was a guy maybe 20 years older than me who basically had his tongue hanging out as the girl passed, I had not even noticed her. I talked to two other older farang the same day and had the same experience. Many times I also noticed an anti women and anti Thai sentiment. I have never been able to understand why people so critical of Thailand, live in Thailand.

Desperate People

Many of the girls and ladyboys working the bars are desperate for customers. I have heard a dozen times how they have not had a customer all week. I have photographed several older workers this trip (the youngest lady I photographed this trip is 25 the oldes 60+), the older workers seem especially desperate. I went out for food at a restaurant not far from my hotel today that had bargirls as waitresses. The women in the bar were over 40 but still tried to dress young and sexy. I wondered how many hours these older ladies had to sit in the bar waiting for a customer, waiting for someone to notice them. Most bars have quotas and if a girl gets to old and does not have enough customers a month she will lose her job and have to find another way to make money (many become freelance worker).

Heading to Bangkok Soon

Heading back to Bangkok tomorrow. I have shot 11 people over the last 2 days and have another 3 to do before I check out tomorrow at 12 noon. I am a bit worn down by this type of shooting to much like working a job. I want to get back on the streets and into Klong Toey meeting real people and shooting a bit of their lives with the 35mm cameras and also want to get out the 4x5 and shoot that some.

I am happy I have got these color ring flash shots done as a backup to the coming show, I think I shot several strong photographs but its a bit of been there done that. Someone once told me I am in my comfort zone when it comes to these photographs. I think the comfort zone comment is right on the mark, I need to step out of that zone and force myself to work in a new direction and in new ways.

Going to rest up a bit tonight, go have a foot massage and a nice meal, then to sleep and 3 more shoots tomorrow. I still have time to do more straight documentary work and if I need to I will return to Thai before the show to continue this work. I will put the sex worker photographs behind me for a while maybe for a few years. I might like to try some more white background 8x10 stuff but not for at least a year or 2.

Seeing lots here and meeting interesting folk. I met a farang man about 50 who has lived here for 7 years. He owns two bars a short time sex bar (with pretty girls and shortime rooms on the premises) and a friendly beer bar for regulars where the girls are older and do not push the customers to buy lady drinks. This fellow Mike has daily massages, gets a daily shave for about $2.25 and gets serviced in other ways as needed. Mike seemed very happy but it seemed somehow to be an empty life, a life of having others serve you and a life of leisure. Where are the goals? What will you leave behind? Life should be more than seeking your own pleasure, it should be about helping those around you and contributing something positive to society.

Nid

Photographed Nid today for the 5th or 6th time since 2003. I met her back in 2003 when I first started the bargirl photo series. She is still working in the shortime bars 7 years later. Today she told me of a bf she has back home in Korat, I like Nid, she has kind heart, she laughed a lot during the photo session, I hope it adds another type photo to the series, a photo showing a bit of joy. Most of my Thai sex worker pictures are rather grim but life is broader than that and including a laughing photograph might be a good thing. Jock Sturges is right about photographing people multiple times. I had not seen Nid for 1 year and 6 months but it was sort of like we were long lost friends, the photos were fun and easy to take.

I also met some motorcycle taxi guys playing macrook (Thai chess). After a few sentences of Thai we were fast friends. I was offered a chair and everyone was eager to play and talk to me. Thais tend to be like that, the "Land of Smiles" advertisement is not far off the mark, and is actually quite accurate. I have grown to love this country and the people here. The language stuff has improved and I feel confident again to speak to people and to try to understand more about Thai culture. I need to work harder in Canada on my Thai language skills.

I should be finished here in about 4 days. I have enough film to photograph about 12 more people and have 4 scheduled for tomorrow with another 5 or so lined up. I want to save some film to shoot the older Nid in Bangkok when I return then I have to rush back to Klong Toey to work on some documentary 35mm shots of the slum. I have shot almost no 4x5 film I need to get my ass in gear in that direction as well. I think I can shoot the 4x5 and do outdoor portraits now, I do not feel like an outsider here anymore.

Todays Work

Been working hard at getting the ringflash headshots done so I can start work on the 4x5 environmental Khon Thai portraits. I have shot about 1/2 the 220 Portra film I brought with me and want to complete that before I move onto the next stage of photographs.

I ended up shooting 6 ladyboy sex workers today which sort of wore me out. My eyes got tired of focusing the blad/ringflash combination. I had one film jam that prevented me from shooting more in one session. I also seem to be having some film advance problems. I hope I am not getting any double exposures. The good technical news is I was able to get a adaptor ring for the ringflash/blad so I do not have to tape the ring flash to the lens any longer (darn thing get falling off and going sideways).

The ladyboys I shot today had either pleasant or difficult personalities. Some that I shot got into it, laughed and try to collaborate in the photo sessions, others were tired or angry types that were hard to work with. I wanted the photographs to accurately depict who they were as people. I might end up using 5 or even 10 portraits from these sessions in the May group show I am involved in. I have photographed 12 people so far (9 ladyboys) and will probably photograph another 12-16. I have 2 older ladies scheduled for tomorrow at 2pm.

Got go go eat some pizza and relax my eyes a bit, then there is some kind of full moon party that I want to check out.

Overheard On The Street

"Hello, I want to eat your hotdog"

Ladyboy Sex Worker

"A long term relationship for me is if the girl stays overnight."

DJ longtime Sex Pat

"His life is fulltime boom boom, he's happy."

H sexpat talking about another sexpat

"You don't understand, you're the one I love"

Old farang man speaking to young female bar worker (she had a I don't beleive you look on her face}

"I would rather pay 2000 baht for no condom than 1000 baht for condom."

I-----, long time sexpat who has lived in the Philippines and Thailand for over 20 years buying sex from sex workers.

First Color Ring Flash Heads

Did my first color ring flash head shots today of 2 ladies who worked freelance, one was 57 and one 60 but they looked older. I shot them in my room against blue and green backgrounds, think I might have got some good photos today. I also made appointments to shoot 1 lady tomorrow at 4pm and my first two LBs at 1030 pm. I am trying to be more selective in who I shoot, trying to find visually strong people to photograph.

I think the film will go fast, I have 60 rolls of 220 Portra to use up in the next week to 10 days. I hope to get out of here in 1 week but we will see. I also shot a single roll of 35 panoramic and 1 roll of 6x9 120 Tri-x with the 2 ladies today.

Got here around 4 pm and went for a walk met some Thais on the street selling various things, I want to photograph them with the 4x5 or with the 6x9 and flash. I need to get up my nerve to carry the larger camera with tripod on the street here. The whole thing sort of becomes a spectacle and attracts lots of attention, something I am not fond of. I think thou it should be ok because I will be photographing Thai people only and people working regular jobs (not sex workers).

I met one girl from last year who remembered my name, not bad for 1 year and 6 months! I said hi to her and called her by name and there was a delay about 5 seconds before she said, "Gerry?" Then a big hug and a nice little talk, might try and photograph her again this trip. I also met 4 ladyboys today who I have known for a while, one who I had not seen since 2003 remembered me as well. I will try to photograph as many ladyboys as I can this trip, because they are so visually strong and also because I hope to learn and understand more about their lives. Every time I have a conversation with a Thai person I learn a bit more and understand a bit more so it is sort of a progressive learning thing. Learn more language equals learn more culture equals learn more about the people equals better photographs.

The Thai came a bit hard today, kept flubbing words and searching for them. Today I spoke more Thai than anytime in the last 1 year 6 months, and my brain and mouth hurt. I usually become fast friends with whoever I talk to and rarely have a negative experience. People are so friendly in Thailand even those who have seen the worst kind of farang.

Today when I was walking home to the hotel from the 7/11 with some supplies I stopped to watch TV from the street at a bar. Above me drinking were some German men and 2 Thai bar workers. One German man was very drunk and kept pawing the Thai lady who was working with him, she was maybe 35 years his junior. At one point the farang put his face down into her breasts and started kissing, talking and rubbing, the poor Thai girl (maybe 20 years old) was so embarrassed and uncomfortable, was sad to see it. In Thai culture holding hands in public is done rarely if at all, mostly by young people in shopping malls, sometimes on the street. Hugging, kissing and public affection is almost never seen, the rules in the bar areas are different thou and she cannot complain, she just must try to laugh it off and get him to stop. What always surprises me is how blind the farang man is in this situation, can he not see how disgusted the girl is with him when he acts this way? It is like the guy is blind and does not see what is inches in front of him. I was several feet away and could feel how repulsed she was by his behaviour. Maybe the guy just does not give a shit, for him the girl is bought and paid for her and he has the right to do what he wants. I can still see her eyes when the guys head was in her breasts.

Ugly place going to make my photos then got out of here.

No Photos Today, But!

Bad day photo wise, spent most of my time trying to track down a adaptor ring for my Hasselblad ring flash. I could not find anything in Bangkok and it looks like I will have to duct tape my ring flash to the blad lens! Not sure how successful this set up will be but I have no other options. I have to try to make photos with a duct taped ring flash. Last year when I did the white background images I did it with a badly cracked/broken ground glass that I had to tape and glue together. This years challence will be making photographs with the ring flash coming off and going off centre.

I delayed my arrival in Pattaya a day without a penalty at the hotel so am off from Bangkok tomorrow at 6am. I did have a rather unique experience today. I went to a Thai massage school and had a free oil massage for 1 hour and a half. The massage was given to me by 1 sometimes 2 and for about 15 minutes 3 ladies! The atudents are learning Thai massage and they need people to practise on, especially big farang like me. I am a bit shy when it comes to things like this but heck I had to overcome it for the good of others. Goodhearted of me don't you think? : )

Great Day

Had a great day in Bangkok today kind of surprising considering how late it got started. At around 2pm got out on the street and headed out to get a bite, ended up having pork cutlet Hungarian style (gravy and mushrooms) along with a milk ice tea for $5. I then took a taxi down to the Klong Toey market. I visited the market two days ago so this trip was not as intimidating. I got up close with people talking and making photographs. After the market I wandered into a more residential area and made some photographs of children and people living their daily lives. I think the best images of the bunch are some made of families who were living in slum shacks in a truck repair yards. I photographed a man repairing a large tire as well as a group of men playing dra-groh(foot volleyball). Even photographed some cats playing and rolling around in the waterish oil covered ground.

It is strange how the poorest of the poor are usually the nicest folks where as the rich people can often be snobbish and selfish. I met some wonderful people today, even had a girl shyly ask if I had a girlfriend or not. The children here are really adorable and friendly, had four come up to me and get all excited when I spoke to them in Thai and took photos. There is so much potential in the children but they are so poor, what futures will they have?

I met some wonderful people today in Klong Toey, but I think I have not seen the poorest areas, the areas I have read about. Father Joe Maier is right, this is the real Thailand and these are the real people of Thailand.

Today was my 3rd day in Thailand and the first I felt comfortable speaking Thai and interacting with locals. I felt like less of an outsider today, more comfortable, more at peace with what I was doing. Thai people are so outgoing and friendly and today I was able to see that first hand and not be intimidated making photographs in that environment. I shot with a Leica M6 and 28mm lens and also a Hasselblad Xpan with 45mm lens.

Today was the first day that I felt ( have not tried it yet!) I could make photos with my 4x5 camera. The 4x5 is an entirely new way to shoot for me, I have shot it in the studio but not in public, today I felt "hey I can do this, I can make the 4x5 work in public place" Will have to see how it goes but love shooting the 35mm cameras (maybe shooting to much film to fast), hopefully can shoot the 4x5 as enthusiastically.

In the evening I went to the Golden Mountain Temple for the loy khratong festival. The temple was filled with thousands of Thais, ended up spending about 2 hours there and only saw 3 other farang (Westerners) the whole time, sort of an oddity for Bangkok. The temple was quite beautiful sort of like a old time country temple with fire works and loy comb (floating candle lights, that rise into the sky). At the end of the evening you could see many loy khratong (floating banana leaf boats with lighted candles and incense) floating down the canals next to the temple.

A great day with hopefully more to come. Tomorrow I head to Pattaya to make some color ring flash heads and environmental portraits. Pattaya will be a different world than I visited today, a world of drunken farang of prostitution and sex.

Meeting Some Men

Met 2 men last night, 1 Thai and 1 Farang (Western). The farang man I have known since 1999 the Thai man I just met yesterday while photographing at his shop in the Klong Toey slum area.

First the farang, he has been a Sex Pat in Bangkok since I have known him. He enjoys his life in the bargirl worlds of Thailand and before that the Philippines. I guess during the recent political problems in Thailand where around 80 people died this farang man had it pretty good. Because of the curfew put in place by gov't the women who came into the hotel he stays at were unable to leave after 11pm, they were locked inside until 6am giving him his choice of partners, the hotel also was at 20% capacity with army folk in the parking lot which made it a buyers market so to speak.

The second man told me a story of how he had multiple gfs, the man was about 65 and fairly successful financially. I guess he had 5 women around town that he was seeing.

Heard a story of a farang here who would take 10 lady bar workers to his room and spend upwards of $1000 a day on sex.

Need to get into the real Thai world more, this bar sex stuff gets tiring quickly. Want to make real photos of real people living real lives.

Welcome to Bangkok! Mr Gerry.

First Days in Thai

Funny how close the world is now. I was in Canada a few days ago working. Today I am on the back of a motorcycle taxi weaving through traffic in Bangkok, we were cutting by the parked traffic jammed cars coming so close my legs were touching car doors.

The noise here is deafening, my head is spinning from the combination noise and heat. I was at Klong Toey slum today photographing various people working, a sewing shop and used metal chain/wire shop. They were cutting (with a fire torch of some kind) apart pieces of metal on the street without safety gear of any kind not even gloves, thou one guy did have sort of work shoes on.

Spoke some Thai today felt funny doing that again, at times struggling for the words but for the most part people understood what I was saying. I also went to a market in the slum, live ducks, chickens and fish etc. Surprised some Thais a couple of times, they turned around and saw me and drew back in surprise! Joked with them that they had never seen a farang (westerner) before, kind of funny to see the way they reacted. One lady after being shocked, told me she was not afraid of farang who could speak Thai but was afraid of those who could not speak Thai. Fun to be in this world again, might take a week to get things working in the right direction.

So far have eaten, oysters, fried fish, large prawns, crab, sour squid soup, dom yum bla (spicy fish soup), som tam (papaya salad) and a wonderful street desert with black beans and coconut milk. I also just had some nice durian which is a Chinese fruit that sort of smells but is delicious.

Am still overcoming my jet lag will try to get my 4x5 our on the streets in the next few days, today shot a Leica M6 and 28mm lens and also with a Xpan panoramic with 45mm. Fun to shoot 35mm Trix again but need to shoot some larger formats as well for better image quality. Tomorrow I will take the blad out of the shipping foam and shoot some color heads with the ring flash.

Am In Thailand

After a long uncomfortable flight I am in Bangkok. Screaming children, a plane packed to capacity and very little sleep made for a tough trip. I am in Bangkok now trying to get over the jet lag. I expect it to take a day or two to recover, tomorrow I am going to do my first exploratory trip to the Klong Toey slum.

I had some some wonderful Thai food today, raw oysters and squid in a sour soup with peppers.

Going to get some sleep now.

Flying To Thai Soon

Been working, working and working, not much time for anything else including blog entries. Soon thou I will be in Thailand and will start the Khon Thai series of photographs I have been thinking and writing about for at least 1 year.

I am excited by the possibilities for these photographs, my head dances with images. The photographs I take this trip will be part of a group show with 2 other photographers (2 very good photographers!) one who shoots in India and another who will have his most recent work shot in Bangladesh showing.

I will be posting updates from Thailand on what happens and how the photographing is going, if your interested come back for some reports.

Am also anxious to see old friends and enjoy a good Thai meal. Oysters anyone?

New White Background Sex Worker Scans

Been very busy scanning negs for a submission, I hope to get my first one man show. Here are some of the scans.

Khon Thai: Klong Toey

Am thinking of going to photograph in Bangkok's largest slum Klong Toey as part of the coming trip and the Khon Thai project.

From the web:

Klong Toey
Posted by allisonspice 2 December 2005
Klong Toey is an area of Bangkok that most tourists will never visit. It is the slums where the poorest people live. Here you will meet real Thai people, people who are dealing with the harshest aspects of life in Bangkok. They are friendly with nothing to offer but a sincere smile. They are happy to see visitors, it shows people care. A visit to Klong Toey will leave you questioning what you thought you knew about Thailand, and perhaps even about yourself and what you thought you valued.

What Is Khon Thai

Been trying to organize my thoughts on exactly what is my project "Khon Thai".

Thailand, the Thai people, being Thai, Thais role in their society, what it means to be Thai, classes, structure, richness, poverty, greed, sadness, hope, suffereing, joy, waste, anger, fun.

The humanity of the Thai people, what does it means to be Thai, the structure and the contradictions of the Thai world.

Edward Burtynsky Lecture

Went to the Edward Burtynsky lecture this afternoon at the AGA. The part that stood out most for me during the talk was how he knew exactly what he wanted to say with his photographs, he understood absolutely and completely the messages he wanted to convey. The photographs can be viewed on multiple layers, they can be interpreted on many different levels. The photographer thou had a clear understanding of what he was doing and saying and brought his craft and skills foward to communicate that message.

I need to concentrate on what I want to say with my photographs, to get a clear understanding of exactly where I am going with the work and then translate that understanding to film. I think one of the reasons I have trouble writing artist statements is because I am not 100% sure yet in my mind what my message is, Burtynsky has all of that figured out and then he goes out and fufills his vision.

Also went to take a quick peek at the show before the lecture and it was impressive, large and very large color prints that were highly detailed if a bit non photograph looking at times (not sure that matters). I will go see the show this coming week when I have more time, will probably do 5 or 6 visits before it leaves town.

Its great that the AGA is showing photographers, I hope this trend continues!! Hopefully someday Mr. Yaum will get his shot at the space.

Quote: Quinton Gordon (Photographer, Gallery Owner)

"The best photographs actually stimulate questions more than they answer them."

Some Photo Links

My favorite Canadian photogrpahy blog where most of the following links came from.

http://www.luzgallery.com/blog/

A blog that has interviews with visual artists.

http://www.photoradioblog.com/

Great interview with photographer who talks of the creative process.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7SXO91sR8g

The Beginning of Khon Thai

Spent the night here at work in Canada looking at the photographs of August Sander. The image below speaks to the strength of his work as a portraitist, he would photograph people and be honest but also treated them with a dignity and respect. That's the trick isn't it, to be honest in your photographs but also treat your subject with dignity and respect.

The beginning of the khon Thai project is 2 months away. It is in one sense scary because I will be working completely by myself outside of my normal Thai comfort zone. I will be speaking a foreign language, working in a foreign country in places I have never been before, without assistants, all on my own. In another sense it is very exciting, the thought of creating new and meaning full work has been a dream of mine for years. I want these photographs to be an honest depiction of the Thai people, I want to show the good and the bad, I want to show their strengths and weaknesses their joys and sorrows and to do this with fairness and dignity.

I wish I had more time to photograph (have a bit less than 5 weeks) but in the coming years I expect I will have more time, this is just a start, a taste of what's to come. If I can keep healthy and if the photographs continue to inspire me, I could be working on the project for 20 or 30 years.

Hopefully the work can one day be put together in a book for wider distribution and also collected by museums. I want the photographs to last past my lifetime and to be a tribute to the people photographed.

Photograph by August Sander

Daily Portraits Continue

Am continuing my daily portraits to familiarize myself with the 4x5 shooting. Today my subject? Me! The hardest part was trying to focus on myself when I was not there! I am developing the film as I write this blog (got to love Jobo processors) so far the shots look OK, if a bit pretentious.

Hopefully over the coming weeks I will perfect the shooting technique and start making some meaningful photographs. I already feel quite a bit better after only about 5 days of portraits. My biggest problem seems to be finding people to make pictures of.

All In One Bag

Well I got all of my 4x5 portrait kit in 1 shoulder bag. The bag is heavy but getting everything into 1 bag allows me to be more mobile, I can travel via tuk tuk, motorcycle, bus or walk for short distances. If I can get this bag to work I can travel all over Thailand, heres hoping it all works out, might have to upgrade to some kind of trekker backpack at some point if the bag becomes to heavy.

-Wista 4x5 camera.
-Monocular hood (allows me to shoot fast with out a dark-cloth and focusing loop.
-Carbon fiber tripod with ball head.
-15 film holders, which allows for 30 exposures.
-Bellows lens-hood.
-150mm Nikon Lens.
-Sekonic manual light meter.
-Various accessories, cable releases, tape measure, flashlight, small screwdrivers.


I might be able to fit in 1 extra lens or a changing bag and box of film so I can do a film change out on the road.

Khon Thai Workout

Over the last several weeks I have been fine tuning the camera and technique I will use for the Khon Thai project. I have chosen to use a Wista 4x5 camera and Tri-x film with a 150mm lens. The photographs will be shot with a combination of flash and available light.

Am trying to do daily portrait sessions with friends and family in Canada. I need to get a rythym with this camera, I need things to flow so I can concentrate on the subject and forget about all the techno stuff, it should flow naturally and easily. The hope is that if I continue to make daily portraits I can develop the effortless shooting style I need before I return to Thailand.

I have been thinking over and over what is I want to say with these images, thats what it comes down to in the end all the camera stuff/darkroom stuff is unimportant its the final photograph that matters. The question is "Gerry what do you want these photos to say?" figure that out and you will make photographs that are worth making.

Words that come to mind when I think about what I want to say :

Truthful
Honest
Fair
Expressive
Striking
Complete

Quote: August Sander

Speaking of the three guiding concepts of his portraiture.

"See, observe and think correctly."

Quote: Henri Cartier-Bresson

Speaking about Edward Weston's and Ansel Adams photography during the WWII.

"The whole world is falling apart and they're photographing rocks!"

Quote: Edward Weston

Responding to objections by the directors of the Museum of Modern Art to prints showing pubic hair.

"By all means tell your board that P.H. has been definitely a part of my development as an artist, tell them it has been the most important part, that I like it brown, black, red or golden, curly or straight, all sizes and shapes."

Quote: Franz Kafka

"A book must be an ice axe, to break the sea frozen within us. If the book in our hands does not wake us, as with a fist that hammers on the skull, then it just isn't worth reading."

Out Shooting

Did some portraits of a friend with the 4x5 field camera set up. Think I am rushing to much with technique and not flowing with the work. Am still learning all the tech stuff and do not have the control and communication during the session, not saying what I want to say. I need more time with the 4x5 and greater confidence with this machine, better photographs will follow.

I also shot some Landform images with the Xpan on the beach of the lake I visited, lots of weeds and foam from the windy days over the 2 days proceeding the photographs. It was fun to also visit a local historical village and try my hand at photographing pigs (fast smelly little suckers!).

Picking Over A Guys Parts

This week I went to an estate sale for a local photographer who had passed on late last year. It was rather sad to see all these people swarming over his things trying to buy things up cheap. A man spends a lifetime building up a collection of items, creating his little trove of treasures and in a few days its all gone and all that is left is a house of empty rooms.

I was lucky enough to get a brand new never used Cibachrome CAP-140 processor for $20. Over the last 3 days I have been using some of my old chemistry and donated color photo paper to print up some images for my camera club. The processor is designed for color slide positives (Cibachromes) but I have been using it for color negative prints and might try to do some larger B/W RC printing as well. This machine sure makes the color printing process (been replaced for the most part by digital ink jet printers) so much easier than dealing with tubes and pouring chemistry in the Jobo systems.

I did one of the rejected color heads, a color head of my father and also a portrait of Nit from 2008, will do a print of the ladyboy sex worker Cake from 2008 tonight.

Quote: Oliver Wendell Holmes (Writer)

"Photography is a mirror with a memory."

Goals

Was writing out my goals as a photographer to a friend in email today and this is what I came up with, #1 and #2 are far and above the most important.

1) Make photographs that speak to me, I should not compromise in these photographs. I should do work that I think is of value and not do something simply to be accepted/shown and sold.

2) Create a body of work that communicates a message that will inform and educate the viewer and hopefully lead to change that will help the subject of the photograph.

3) Have the work collected and shown by major galleries/museums around the world.
4) Have a high quality photography book/s made of the images.
5) Have the work shown in smaller galleries/magazines etc.
6) Have the work collected in private collections.

Khon Thai Thoughts

Photographs I want to make for the Khon Thai project keep flashing through my head. I like to plan what I shoot ahead of time when I am in Canada but I need to be careful I also need to be open to photograph in unplanned ways when I am in Thai. Sometimes luck and circumstance should take over when your in the field, you should be open to changing your preconceived notions. This photograph made in 1999 of a security guard keeps flashing into my mind, I want to do up close and personal portraits like this as well as shots that include a little more background information.

Blad Heads

On Sunday I did some square format availible light blad heads of mom and dad. Will be doing some more of these heads this coming Sunday of other family members but will not post them online without their permission.

Quote: Dorothea Lange

"The camera is an intrument that teaches people how to see without the camera."

What it is

Photography is about having something to say and then saying it. All the cameras/films/lens/technique only allow you to communicate your message and are no important than that, they are tools to help you say what you want to say.

The key is to have something to say and then saying it.

Alberta Open Photo Competition 2010

Went to the opening of the Alberta open photography exhibition (my 5 sex worker color heads were rejected by the jury). A nice night in a nice setting. The photographs were shown in the basement gallery at the Jubilee Auditorium a very nice pretigous facility. They had food and drinks and lots of folks looking over the work. I enjoyed myself, met and talked to 5 or 6 friends. Discussing photography and being around people who love photography is always fun.

Now the not so nice part of the evening. The photos overall were of a very poor quality. Little challenged the mind and nothing that I saw challenged my heart. I walked around and heard a lot of "Thats nice or Thats good." comments but thats about it, no one became involved in the work, there were no passionate discussions, all friendly friendly/nothing nothing boredom. The work shown was stuff you could take home hang in your washroom and forget about. It was fast food photography, that was quickly eaten, forgotten and left a bad after taste.

I did like a few of the landscapes and a few of the building shots especially some by a few photographers I know well but overall the quality was exceptionally poor even worse than last year. Of the 64 images on display there was 1 portrait maybe 2 (kinda), last years competition also had only 1 or 2 portraits. There are no people in the Alberta? No people in the world to photograph? Some photographers beside myself must have submitted some portrait work, documentary work, nude work etc. How many photos of wagon wheels, bales of hay and landscapes can we look at?

JUDGES OF THE ALBERTA OPEN, PLEASE BROADEN YOUR VISION, SHOW US MORE THAN THE SAME SAME BORING BORING PHOTOGRAPHS. SHOW US MORE THAN YOU CAN SEE AT A THOUSAND SITES ONLINE, SUPRISE US, EDUCATE US, STIR SOME PASSION IN THE VIEWER, REACH FOR THEIR MINDS, THEIR HEARTS!! PHOTOGRAPHY IS A GREAT ART FORM, PLEASE SHOW PEOPLE THE POWER IT CAN HAVE.

Last years show:

http://gerryyaum.blogspot.com/2009/08/vaaa-alberta-open-photo-show-2009.html

Double Rejection

I got rejected from 2 local shows here recently, the 2010 Alberta Photography Open Show and from the Profiles Public Art Gallery. Feel bad I could not get the work I feel is important seen that but no harm in trying. Hopefully someday some of the photographs that receive multiple rejections will be shown somewhere.

Here are the rejected sex worker color head images. Screw the rejections I am pushing forward and making more of these color/ringflash heads in the future already bought the film! : ) You got to make the photographs you think are important, photos that stir your heart, eventually some day some way they will be shown. If they never are seen outside of this blog then heck at least I went out swinging!

Quote: Minor White

"One should photograph a subject not only for what it is but for what else it is."

Quote: Sammy Davis Jr.

"Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to get insulted."

Quote: Sal Mineo (Actor)

Speaking about death:

"Before it happens I mean to do the things I want to do. I will not end up saying, 'I wish I had.'"

The Power of Photography

This wonderful story from Gordon Parks about his photographs of Flavio speak to the power of photography and how it can have a positive effect on the people who are photographed.

Gordon Parks Flavio Story, MOVING AND INSPIRATIONAL

Camping Shots

While camping this past week I did a portrait in the style I might use for Khon Thai. I think I will go with a stronger flash in the Khon Thai images. The flash adds an element of seeing, Diane Arbus said it best:

"One of the extcitements of strobe at one time was that you were essentially blind at the moment you took the picture. I mean it alters the light enormously and reveals things you don't see."




I also did some more traditional landscape photos. Taking photographs is fun even when it comes to landscapes which have been done to death.

DAT Recorder

Picked up a portable DAT tape recorder today on Ebay. I hope to use this wonderful little (slightly old tech) machine to make recordings on my next trip to Asia. I want to record some of talks I have with people about their past and current lives. Last year I had a wonderful conversation with Long about her life but was unable to record it, much of the talk I have now forgotten. I would also like to place some small clips of these taped conversations on the blog or website.

It might be useful to make up a audio diary of some kind, which would allow me to organise my thoughts, and possibly use the tapes later in a book project/s of some kind.


Long Shortime Bar Sex Worker, 2008

Quote: Anonymous

"Portraiture is 1 part subject, 1 part photographer, and 1 part viewer."

Quote:Roger Housden (Writer)

From his book "How Rembrandt Reveals Your Beautiful Imperfect Self"

"That's the best thing about looking at the paintings: the looking. I find, on coming out into the world again, makes me more human. Makes me less absorbed in a world of my own, more able to see others as they are. Makes me remember the advice of Philo, the old philosopher from Alexandria, who said, "Be kind; for everyone you meet is engaged in a great struggle.""

On Rembrandt:

"...he manages to take everyday people and imbue them with qualities that elevate their humanity..."

On Rembrandt's paintings:

"When I stand there before them, I myself feel more human, more alive and engaged. As in all his later work, Rembrandt invites me to participate in the painting, instead of being a mere observer of it."

2 Group Shows In 2011

Well its official will have 2 group shows locally next year. One will be at a new local gallery with 2 other photographers in April 2010 and will consist of new work shot during my next trip to Thailand this November. The second group show will be of the 2009 sex worker on white background work, the opening is in October 2010.

It looks like things are improving for the work show wise, hopefully my first 1 man show will happen sometime in 2012. It will be so nice to get the work seen by a bigger audience. Sometimes I feel the only people who see my photographs are photo club members, friends and family. The more shows that accept the photographs the larger the audience. More importantly the more the work is seen the the better my subjects stories can be told.

Scanning 8x10 Negs

Scanning 8x10 negs is long tedious process, it is one of those things you have to do but do not want to do. Finishing the scans will allow me to make submissions to galleries. I have been in contact with wonderful gallery in Canada that seems interested in my white background sex worker photographs. I need to make a submission of all available work for their consideration. If they they like what I send them and like the 20x24 prints I will send as samples then I will get my first one man show! This same gallery is planning on having a book competition I will enter these scans in that competition as well.

I will try over my coming week off to make up a mobile scanning setup, this will allow me to scan negatives during my regular night work shift when I have some free time. I want to spend my regular week off devoted to new photographic pursuits, not by doing old negative scans. By using the portable scanning system I should be able to find extra hours to get the scanning completed.

Future Show Possibility

Next year I might have the chance to place some of my new work in a joint photo show with a local photographer. The show would be of work shot in Thailand during my coming trip in November of this year. I plan to start working on my "Khon Thai" series this next trip, which is very exciting. It would be strange to be making photographs that already have a place to hang, quite different than working with the hopes of a show somewhere.

The photographer I would be hanging my work with if this happens is very accomplished and skilled, the best photographer I have met in the city. I have to be on top of my game to make work that holds up next to his.

If this happens it should be exciting and fun, a nice start to the "Khon Thai" project that might take 10 plus years to complete.

Quote: Walker Evans

"Most people in our tradition are basically rather scared of feeling. You have to unpeel that before you can really get hot and get going and not be afraid of feeling."