Weaw's Farm

These landscape photos were made on Weaw's family farm. Hint for all you aspiring Thai farm photogaphers, never try to photograph a Thai chicken with a 4x5 camera, they run to fast!

First Khon Thai Images

Here are my first Khon Thai images, fresh out of the wash.

AGA judge

Have a person who works at the Alberta Gallery of Art coming to my photo club meeting on Monday. I have to work that day so cannot attend but I want to submit some photographs for this person to judge. It is important that someday the photographs are shown at the AGA, I am hoping that this opportunity might raise awareness of the photographs locally. I need to make up 3 b/w sex worker images and possibly 3 color ring flash heads for this judge.

Khon Thai Represents All of Humanity

Like Strand believed there is a commonality in all men. I want my Khon Thai portraits not to be just about Thai people but about the commonality in all us, the pictures should be about the common thread that binds us all.

Developed some of the 4x5 portraits last night, some are way off the mark with bad compositions and technical problems others might be ok! I will scan and post some of the 4x5 work in the coming days.

Subjective Viewpoint

From the, In Focus series of books, on Paul Strand.

Although he was attempting to be wholly objective by advocating a straight approach and allowing the people to tell their own stories, the reality was that his vision was highly subjective.

The Commonality of Man

From the, In Focus series of books, on Paul Strand.

Strand was searching for what he referred as the "essential character" of people he encountered. He believed if he were able to discover that element, he would arrive at a commonality that you could relate to everyone. In his portraits of the Italian peasants he sought to represent all of humanity.

Quote: Paul Strand

"The important thing is you have to have something to say about the world."

Quote: Alfred Stieglitz

"Art is the affirmation of life and life with all its eternal evidence is everywhere."

Ansels Equipment

After watching this film on Ansel Adams I do not feel quite as bad having so much equipment!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am54LMSwz9E&feature=related

Quote: Ansel Adams

Interviewer:

"It's a corny question but what would you like most to be remembered for?"

Adams:

"Well a few good photographs (laughs), what else can you say?"

Shadows on Zone IV Lecture by Bruce Barnbaum

I have not done a lot of Zone System photography lately but am getting back into it. I only have one film tested HP5+ but might do some testing on Tri-x in the coming months.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlnt5yFArWo&feature=related

Living In Klong Toey?

When I was in Klong Toey last month I saw 2 different rooms for rent, one for 1500 and one for 2000 baht a month ($49-$66 CAD) plus electricity/water. Wouldn't it be grand to just set up shop my next trip in one of these small rooms. I could spend my days wandering the slum with view camera and tripod over my shoulder making friends and portraits of the people I meet. It would be a wonderful way to spend a month in Thailand.

Gerry Yaum Goes Italian

Found this link today, Italian page I believe.

http://www.ziguline.com/2011/01/03/gerry-yaum/

From the link:

Riprendiamo le nostre cronache giornaliere inaugurando il 2011 con Gerry Yaum, fotografo canadese da sempre interessato all’universo umano di cui ama raccontare le diverse culture. Gerry è un purista della fotografia e come tale lavora esclusivamente in pellicola e sviluppa le sue foto nella sua camera oscura. La serie “Sex Workers” è un lavoro cominciato nel 2007 in cui Gerry ritrae donne, uomini e trans impiegati nell’industria del sesso in Thailandia. Il senso di questo lavoro è quello di documentare e creare un archivio di gente destinata ad essere dimenticata. La cosa che ha più impressionato Gerry da quando ha cominciato questo lavoro è la velocità di ricambio di questa massa di anime che lavorano nel mondo del sesso a pagamento. Un anno ci sono e l’anno successivo non trovi più le stesse persone che sembrano come sparite nel nulla. Questo lavoro fotografico ha come fine ultimo quello di bloccare nel tempo l’immagine di queste persone, che Gerry considera importanti, perchè ne possa essere conservata la memoria.

Translation via Google:

We continue our daily chronicles ushering in 2011 with Gerry Yaum, Canadian photographer has always been interested in the human universe likes to tell the different cultures. Gerry is a purist of photography and as such works exclusively in film and developing his photos in his darkroom. The series "Sex Workers"is a work started in 2007 when Gerry portrays women, men and transgender employees in the sex industry in Thailand. The sense of this work is to document and create an archive of people destined to be forgotten. The thing that has most impressed with Gerry since he started this job is the speed of replacement of this mass of souls who work in paid sex. A year and a year later we are no longer the same people who seem like they vanished into thin air. This photographic work has as its ultimate goal to stop in time the image of these people, Gerry considers important, because it can be stored memory.

Fine Art Photography Weekly

A friend of mine told me about this site well worth a look/listen! Twenty three episodes recorded so far.

http://smibs.tv/fine-art-photography-weekly?page=1

Clyde Butcher interview, you got to love a guy that fights off gators for his art!

http://smibs.tv/fine-art-photography-weekly/clyde-butcher

Quote: Pete Postlethwaite (Actor)

Speaking of how a strong sense of mortality governed his life choices.

"Let death be your adviser, you have to live every day as fully as you can."

First Sex Worker Ring Flash Heads

Got some chemistry from a friend and was able to process my first ring flash sex worker shots, here is a selection.

Note: I misplaced my scanning negative holder device (will rescan the negatives later). The colored streaks on the background in some of the photos are a result of scanning without the holder.

Found Gold!

Went searching through my garage freezers tonight and found some gold! I have two freezers in my car garage outside loaded with films and papers from years past that I have picked up from different sources. Tonight I went looking for some color 8x10 photo paper to use for contacting the recent ring-flash color sex worker heads. While digging my way through the ice I found:

- 8x10 Tri-x, 50 sheet box (Kodak does not even make 50 sheet boxes anymore only 10 sheet boxes)
- 8x10 J&C 400, 150 sheets (J&C has been out of business for several years now)

I can use the JandC and maybe the Tri-x if I continue the Sex Worker on white background photographs.

More importantly today I found some 11x14 Fujifilm Printing Material and a 50 sheet box of 16x20 Fujifilm SG Printing Material (given to me by a friend 5 + years ago). This paper has a very unique high gloss look to it, a look I think will work well with the ring-flash heads. I can now make the kind of color prints I want for the group show in May (if I decide to go with the color photographs), I found gold tonight!

Thinking Back

Exciting times! Feel so blessed to have the opportunities I do. Today am thinking back to Weaw's father, a decent man, a good man, what opportunities did he have? He only could become a farmer and live the life he now leads, he had only one road to follow. When I offered him 500 baht after staying there (3 nights) he jumped back with shock saying "MAI OWE!!!" (Not Want!!!) I had to force the money on him, even thou he is poor and needed the money he did not expect it and did not want it. He reacted so instinctively with the "MAI OWE", the quick back movement hands raised, it sort of surprised me! The loudest I heard the man speak was when he was turning down money. I want my "Khon Thai" photographs to show men like this and to pay tribute to them, I want to create a lasting memory of who they were.

Got to start saving money and get back to Thailand soon!

Got Some C-41 Chemistry From A Friend

Picked up some C-41 chemistry from a good friend last night so I can get started developing my 220 Portra (ebay outdated film) ring heads tomorrow!

Quite excited that I can finally spend some enjoyable hours in the darkroom over the next 5 days. I have 35mm b/w, 120 b/w, 4x5 b/w and color 220 to develop. Hope to have time to also do some contacts and a few work prints this week as well. If anything decent turns up I will also scan some negs for this blog, so stay tuned!

Got some outdated HP5 4x5 today at 1/2 price. I want to try to shoot my Linhof camera daily, need to pick my speed with this tool so when I return to Thai for "Khon Thai" I can work faster.

Why Film Not Digital?

I get this question asked of me often.

"Why do you still shoot film? Digital is so much faster and easier!"

Why?

1) I can shoot and afford (because of digital) the best film cameras ever made. I now shoot Leica rangefinders, Hasselblad medium format and Linhof Technica 4x5s. Photography is just plain flat out easier, reliable (less camera breakdowns) and more fun when your using a state of the art (for film) high quality tool.

2) A black and white darkroom print looks better to me than anything I have seen printed on a printer. The darkroom print has a depth to the image and a tonality that I have not seen reproduced on a printer which seems to me to have a smaller tonal scale and a artificial printed on top of look.

3) There is a timeless beauty using film. I like to work with the same limitations that the great photographers of the past had. I do not want to use Photoshop tricks to spice up my photographs, either I capture it at the decisive moment or I fail. To try and create a photograph that hangs with the best of the past and to do it using similar tools as photographers of the past just seems honest and right.

4) The darkroom is fun! I love my time in the dark, it is a place of meditation and happiness for me. Sitting in front of a computer working in Photoshop then pressing control/print does not feel the same. When your in the darkroom with your hands in the chemistry touching and massaging the print to life it seems so much more real, so much more personal, great stuff!

Photographic Truth

All photographs are only as real as the photographer wants them to be, it his interpretation of a subject. Photographs are not about truth, they are about the photographers personal interpretation of reality.

Xmas Day

Merry Christmas everyone!

Been thinking of why I want to make the large format portraits in Asia, what I want to say with the work. I have always had an interest in learning and understanding people, to learn of their lives, of their thoughts and feelings. I think that's the basic reason for my photos, a great curiosity and a need to try to understand.

The other part that is important to me is making a record of the subject, paying a tribute, creating a work that lives on and might be in a book or museum someday (a form of immortality for the subject). Gerry Yaum is a fiction, the subject is what's important, the work is a tribute to them. Tonight at work I am looking through a book of portraits Paul Strand made in Mexico. The people in the book lived in the 1930s, most of them are dead now but they still are kind of alive (caught in time) because of the photographs. The images are a tribute, a "forever moment" Strand gave to his subjects. That's what I want to do with my photographs make portraits that pay tribute to the lives of my subjects honestly (good, bad or anything in between) and that makes a record that will live on past our lifetime.

Quote: Paul Strand

Paul Strand speaking about his photographs taken in Mexico.

"I began to find that the shibboleths of time were not true for me. It was always said that you really have to know a place before you start working in it; otherwise you would do something very superficial. Another shibboleth was that you can't make a portrait of a person unless you know that person, and then when you you know the person you create the moment or wait for the moment when they are most alive and most themselves. These shibboleths went out the window."

Large Format Portraits

Spending lots of time over the last few days studying the large format portrait work of Jock Sturges, Sally Mann, Paul Strand and August Sander.

I am really falling in love with the beauty of large format portraiture, there can be a static/forced nature to the imagery if the posing/expression is not right but when it is right it's very right!

I will start working on some portraits here in Canada over the next few months which I will post on the blog, I want to improve my skills at this type of photography. I need also to start using reflectors to bring more light to my subjects. Jock Sturges emailed me and wrote of the importance of reflectors in his work, I want to try working with reflectors to see if it will improve the look of my photographs.

Been thinking of photographing people from other countries as well, Bangladesh, India, Burma, Laos, Cambodia and maybe parts of Africa and Central America. The idea would be to photograph often forgotten people to make images that speak to their lives. When I was in Thailand on my last day of 4x5 shooting I photographed a motorcycle taxi driver, his eyes were rather haunting, a older man with a strong face and haunting eyes. I think back now to this man motorcycle taxi man, it is exciting, I want to photograph all those strong faces, all those lives so different than mine. I want to make a record of their lives and interpret who they are in my photographs.

Phil Borges, Edward Burtynsky, James Nachtwey Lectures

Lectures by some great photographers, check them out here:

Phil Borges

http://videos.howstuffworks.com/ted-conferences/1806-phil-borges-on-photography-video.htm

Edward Burtynsky

http://videos.howstuffworks.com/ted-conferences/1797-ed-burtynsky-talks-at-ted-about-photography-video.htm

James Nachtwey

http://videos.howstuffworks.com/ted-conferences/1731-james-nachtwey-talks-at-ted-about-war-photographs-video.htm

Developing Film

Started developing the 35mm Tri-x done 16 rolls so far. I want to get started on the color 220 film as well (sex worker ring flash heads) but need to order some chemistry first.

This part of the process is always fun for me. First seeing the film and the negs then making the contacts, choosing the negs that I will enlarge then doing work prints and finally with a select few images final archival fiber prints.

Ain't photography grand!

Back In Canada

Well I am back home! Was a long trip back but I did manage to sleep 7 hours on the Pacific part of the journey. I feel that the trip was a success, I shot lots of film (hopefully made some good photographs). I met some amazing people and I feel I grew a bit as a person and as a photographer.

Going to take a bath and have a nice meal (pyrogies for the first time in 5 weeks!!!). Then I will go to the darkroom mix some fresh D-76 and develop my first 8 rolls of 35mm Tri-x. It should be an exciting time in the dark, many different styles of photos to work on (Khon Thai 4x5 work, 35mm Klong Toey Slum photos, and color head-shots of sex workers).

Feel happy and content that I was able to make the photos and now hopefully I can can put together some quality prints for the upcoming group show in May.

4x5 On The Street

Today I photographed the food vendors and some small business owners on the street near where I am staying in Bangkok. I wanted to make these photographs my first day here in November but at the beginning I was a bit nervous using the 4x5 camera on street (did not shoot the 4x5) and later I was busy doing all the other types of photography. Today I finally got around to making the portraits that I had imagined earlier in my minds eye. I shot a number of female food vendors, the sewing shop guy and a older man who drove a motorcycle taxi (sensitive eyes). I got it done today with my last sheets of Tri-x and my first of 20 sheets of Portra. The black and white 4x5 street images are the beginning of the "Khon Thai" series of photos.

I might switch to an 8x10 camera in the future and only use the 4x5 in special situations (night shooting with flash, or in places the 8x10 is not a practical camera). My only 8x10 fears are the weight of all the equipment and the cost of the film, I am no longer worried about shooting a large format camera on the street in available light. I will work on doing some street 8x10 photography when I return to Canada.

Last night before bed I googled and studied some of the 8x10 film portraits made by Jock Sturges, stunning!



















"Adele" by Jock Sturges















"Jennifer" by Jock Sturges

4x5 in Bangkok

Shot the 4x5 today on the Bangkok streets for the first time. Did some portraits of people on a bridge. I was walking about with the 4x5 and tripod and thought - how can I photograph people? what is the best way to do this? The sky was overcast creating a nice even soft box light and I thought - hey why not set up a little studio on this walking bridge. I composed the picture then just waited for someone visually strong to walk by. Spent more time waiting than shooting but I do not have much film left so waiting was much of an issue. Ended up photographing about 5 people.

I reloaded film and will go out tomorrow again when I have good light one last time. I have 14 sheets of Tri-x left and my first 16 sheets of color Portra loaded, I want to experiment with a bit of color film this trip as well.

Evil Jing Joks

I have a farang friend that is a bit afraid of Thai jing joks (little lizard like creatures that scamper around up and down walls and roofs in Thai buildings of all types).

I never really gave them a second thought. I knew a girl once who had a boyfriend named Sammy and I used to call the jing jok in my room that name to tease her but that was about the extent of my jing jok involvement.

That all changed when one interrupted my meal in Chiang Kong. I was enjoying my meal at a table overlooking the Mekong when I felt something fall on my shoulder I looked up at the roof and saw nothing, then a bit to later something fell to my right on the table. Looking up this time I recognized the culprit, Mr Jing Jok! He was hanging upside down on the metal roof above the table.

I think the little sucker took a crap on me!

Northern Thai Dialect

Weaw's family and many other people in the North speak a Northern Thai dialect. I was having a harder time understanding them and them me, did not really understand why till later. I kept calling Weaw's grandma "Yai" (central Thai for grand mom) but the Northern word for grand mom is "Oo-ii"

No wonder she looked at me strangely sometimes!

Why Thai Culture?

Had a friend recently ask me in a email why I was so interested in Thai culture, thought I would post my response on the blog.

Why are you so fascinated with Thai culture? Why not learn other cultures as well?

Think that's a multi leveled answer


- When your doing photography it is important to have a clear understanding of the people lives (people your photographing) to make the photos better. Jock Sturges the great photographer of naturists (exchanged several emails and phone calls with him) told me to spend much time with my subjects, years if possible to make the photos better.

- I can speak a fair amount of Thai which allows me a further insight into that world (most recently at Weaw's family house). If I went somewhere else I would have to start from scratch language wise, I think most people underestimate how important language is in understanding or starting to understand a culture. I am in my 40s, if I want to make a practical approach to my photographic vision (creating a long-time and important series of portraits) I need to get started making the photos now, not jump about from culture to culture, I am running out of time. I hope with some luck and good physical conditioning to be making photos until 70 or 75 so have a limited time period to get this done. When I am older I will be physically unable to make the photographs but hopefully can print the work for the last 5 or 15 years of my life (working in a darkroom I can be slow and unsteady, cannot be that way in the field working with people).

- Cultures are extremely complicated, to jump from one to another to another would only give a superficial understanding, by sticking with Thailand for a long period I am just beginning to get a small handle on things. To be so arrogant and full of myself that I would think I can understand the Thai culture so easily (or any other countries) would be a mistake. If you want to understand something it takes many many small steps over decades of work.

- In some ways many Southeast Asian cultures are interconnected historically, economically, religiously and politically. By studying Thai culture, I also learn a bit about Burma, Cambodia and Laos. Recently when I was on the Laos/ Thai border the connections between those cultures were obvious. I might make some photos in those places in the future as well (especially Cambodia).

- There is also a more practical side to concentrating on Thailand/Thai Culture. Khon Thai is an extended long term commitment, I hope that one day it will include 1000 strong portraits. To accomplish this goal I will need to make a lifetime commitment to Thailand. The great photographer August Sander created a great body of portraiture on the German people but when he went outside this series to work on photographs in Sicily it took away time/photographs from the most important project of his life (the German portraits). I need to learn from Sander's mistake and not spread myself to thinly.

Weaw Helping Out

Weaw would helps out around her family home as much as she can. I remember watching her wash a frying pan. Here was a girl blind and HIV positive who did not whine and complain about her life but instead was trying to help her mother and grandmother, trying not to be a burden and help with their work.

A lesson to us all, if Weaw can help her family I can certainly help my mother and father more than I am.

Back In Bangkok

Going to rest some today the bus trips were tiring and I need to get my wind back. I hope to shoot the rest of the b/w 4x5 film over the next 2 days. I have about 50 sheets left. I want to make some portraits of the nearby street vendors and workers in shops. There is a cool guy who has a little sewing shop on the street not far from here, he looks so happy in his work (about 30 years old with a ponytail), got to photograph him soon.

Police Inspections

On the trip back to Bangkok yesterday we went through 2 security check by police. The first on the Chiang Rai to Chiang Mai bus the second on the Chiang Mai to Bangkok bus.

Police searching for illegal Laos/Burmese and also checking for drugs in jackets etc. The checks did not seem to thorough, I and the other farang were not asked to show an ID or passport of any kind.

The police concentrated on the darker skinned people (Laotians and Burmese are generally darker skinned than Thais) and also listened for accents and language skills. No one was taken off either bus as all was in order. I guess these security checks happen every trip. Along the border with Laos workers can sneak across and work (like the man I met in Chiang Kong Som Pet who worked illegally as a driver) but Thai authorities have many ID checks more inland to help control drugs and or illegal workers from entering deeper into the kingdom of Thailand.

Final Thoughts On Chiang Kong

Enjoyed my stay in Chiang Kong, it was such a nice quiet sleepy little town a welcome change from busier Chiang Mai and very busy Bangkok (and very noisy).

To just sit and outside my room and have a breakfast of eggs, sausage, toast, hot chocolate and orange juice while watching the slowly flowing Mekong river was very relaxing.

Chiang Kong is a peaceful part of the world I hope to return to with my 4x5 and the Khon Thai project.

68 Baht ($2.35 CAD) of Food

Yesterday in Chiang Mai I got:

3 pieces of fried chicken
2 boiled eggs
1 big bag of sticky rice
1 piece of fried pork

A nice tasty couple of meals!

Saying Goodbye To Weaw

Said good bye to Weaw yesterday it was hard, she seemed so vulnerable and alone. I carried her bags to a room on the 2nd floor of the blind massage school. Weaw walked in front of me led by another blind girl. I told her not to worry that after 3 or 4 months she would have a trade and that she would make friends and learn from the other blind people at the school (17 blind residents).

We talked to Khune Aud the man who ran the place (another incredible person I met this trip). He is blind and has a blind wife, but they have 2 children a 18 year old pretty girl and a fun laughing 17 year old boy (both can see). Khune Aud told his story, the story of the school and it was translated for me (he spoke in a difficult Thai dialect).

"I wanted to help the blind people of Thailand and to show that they could work and be useful. I decided to open up a school where I could teach them massage. At first it was very difficult but I took small steps, little by little very slowly things improved. I first bought a very old house (on same location as the current school), then I slowly began to train the blind to do massages and to change the way people (Thai people) thought of the blind. I got a little bit of gov't support and some donations and after a long time I slowly went forward, eventually I was able to build this building (current school)."

He took small steps a bit at a time a over a 18 year period to get where he is now. It seems he has something in common with Father Joe (of the Klong Toey Slum Mercy Centre), both did things small at first and big things later, both built something great after many years of effort (Khune Aud 18 years, Father Joe 35 years plus).

I gave some money to Waew;s family yesterday 500 baht to Grandma, 500 baht to her Father and 3000 baht to Weaw (plus paid for her food and bus tickets etc). Weaw is a kind sweet person, I hope she can find a good man and start a family, hopefully she can live at least part of her dream.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead when we parted and she waied as I left, I turned around to take a last look and Weaw was sitting and chatting to her new friends (2 young blind girls).

Last Morning Weaw's Family Home

I woke up at 615am my last day in Weaw's family home, wrote some quick notes as I walked around the farm waiting to leave.

- Mist and fog hanging over everything, I cannot see the treed mountain in front of Waews home.

- Slight chill in the air, I feel quite comfortable in my short sleeve shirt (being a Canadian) but most Thais wearing long sleeve shirts and light jackets or sweaters.

- Weaw's father sweeping up leaves and garbage around a dirt shack out back.

- Roosters still crowing (will they ever stop?)

- Small banana's freshly picked laying on a bench in the house out back. Weaw's mother will make deserts out of the bananas and sell them at the local market.

- Grandma up and active before me, what time does she wake up at everyday? 73 years old and going strong.

- Man shows up with a big pink and black pig in the the caged sidecar of his motorbike. Leaves 15 minutes later with the pig after spending time out back with Weaw's father.

- We are all ready and head out to catch the local bus. Everyone comes out to say goodbye to us, dad, mom and grandma (with a cane) along with several neighbors. It turns out we missed the bus (flew by earlier than expected, buses fly on the roads in this area) and had to take a truck to another area to catch a different non air con bus to Chiang Rai (1 hour 30 minutes) then a first class A/C bus to Chiang Mai (3 hours).

Back At Weaw's Home

Am back at Weaw's home, I took her motorbike to this Internet shop. I will be leaving with her tomorrow at 7am to Chiang Rai via local bus then on to Chiang Mai where I will leave her at a school for the blind. I expect to get back to Bangkok (10 hour overnight bus or train from Chiang Mai) on or around the 16th.

After I process the film back home I hope to send a number of prints to the family. I will also scan some negatives and send them to a man friend of Weaw's online.

I Want Fuck You

Met a couple from Austrailia last night at a bar in Chiang Kong (lots of farang backpackers in town). The girl and guy had recently traveled through India and told many funny and sad stories.

Something farang woman have to face often while traveling in India is groping and touching from Indian men and boys. The lady I talked to told stories of men grabbing at her as she walked and on one ocassion as she passed a man on the street he turned his mouth close to her ear and said "I want to fuck you!"

Over 4x5 Fears

Coming to Thailand I was a bit afraid to use the 4x5 on the street. I have overcome that fear now, all it took was to to get the camera into the street and have some FUN making photographs (when I was at Weaw's house).

At first the thought of approaching strangers and asking to make their photographs with a large format camera was a bit scary, now it seems easy and exciting.

Today in Chiang Kong I went to a local temple and photographed 2 young monks (my first monks) and shot 2 sheets (all the film I had left) of a old deaf women in her home.

I am not sure what the pics will look like but am happy with the experience and fun of making the photos. I think like all my photography in the past the photographs will improve as I grow more and more comfortable with the camera and the style of shooting.

I got a start this trip with the 4x5 and Khon Thai portraits. I think next trip I will concentrate on this camera and bring more 4x5 sheet film. This trip I only brought 300 sheets next trip maybe 600.

Red Hotel

When I stayed in Chiang Mai a week or so back I stayed in a Red owned hotel. The Red party people (pua thai-thai rak thai) are in a battle with the Yellow controlling party. Earlier this year 80 people many of them Reds died in street demonstrations in Bangkok.

Unwittingly I ended up staying in a Red political party member owned hotel. There were no meeting or demonstrations when I was there but it was still strange to see all the people wearing read. There were red shirts, red pants and red hats. The hotel had red cushions and red table cloths, a bar called the Red Line Bar, even the dog in the lobby had a read collar and red leash (wonder if he got along with dogs wearing yellow?).

Head Wacking

I have started a daily ritual of whacking my head on things in Thailand. Three days ago I whacked it so hard I drew blood! That's the problem with being a tall guy in a short persons country your constantly hitting your head!

Becoming a Monk?

I want to become a Buddhist monk in the future. It is very common for Thai men and some farang to become a monk for a short period of time. I want to understand Buddhism better to meditate everyday, hopefully this will help me become a better person. I also think it might help in my understanding of Thai culture which will improve the photographs.

I would like to be a monk in some rural temple far from the cities where I could live alone with other monks and Thai locals far from the farang influence in Thailand. Not sure when I can do this but it would be great to do it for 1 to 6 months.

Hopefully I can become a monk before I am to old to benefit from what might be a life altering experience.

Nice Quiet Day

Slept in a bit, then had a nice breakfast overlooking the Mekong river for 100 baht. The sun was high and the river full of action, across from my guesthouse is a docking area for small long boats carrying goods from Thailand to Laos. Many products available in Thailand are not available in Laos. I have seen everything from cabinets and piping to coke and cookies heading across the river to be sold in Laos.

After breakfast I carried the 4x5 down to Khune Tong's shack and photographed him in the shack, outside of the shack and standing in a nearby field. A friendly affable man Tong who I talked to using the polite forms of pee (older person) or Da (father) speaks a bit of English so I was able to learn quite a bit about his life and history. He has 2 sons who attended university one of whom is a architect in Bangkok.

After the photo session I went back to my room changed out the 4x5 film holders and then returned to the river for a trip down the Mekong with Khune Tong in his long fishing boat. He took me up and down both the Thai and Lao sides, the trip lasted about 1 hour and cost 400 baht ($14.00 CAD). I learned a bit about the river and as I passed people waved at me and smiled. Fishing is tough now on the Mekong, fish that were once plentiful have now been depleted as a result of over fishing. The most famous fish on the river is the Mekong catfish which can obtain sizes of 35 kilos or larger. One kilo of catfish will get the fisherman 250 baht. Khune Tong told me the largest catfish he caught this year was 15 kilos but that a friend of his had caught one of 20 kilos.

Am leaving Chiang Rai tomorrow and will return to Weaw's family home to pick her up, expect to spend one more night with her and her family. We will then travel via bus to Chiang Rai and Chiang Mai where I will leave her and go to Bangkok.

Going to try and get up early and make some photos in a temple before I leave. I want to photograph some monks if possible.

HIV Ghosts

In Weaw's village HIV has long been a killer, I learned that both Weaw's uncle and aunt died of AIDS. Many people in her village have also died of AIDS most of whom had worked in brothels and bars. The disease was then transferred to others when the worker returned home.

Initially the people felt that the deaths were the result of ghosts and spirits. They did not understand the disease and were very frightened of those that were givin that death sentence. Weaw's Aunt was asked to leave the family home because her family was afraid of her, she was allowed to return later to die in her own village but no one would touch her.

The people have been educated and have learned from the experiences of the past they are now more tolerant and fear the HIV victim less. They have been educated about the real causes of HIV/AIDS. With new medications hopefully Weaw can have a long life. She even dreams of having children, her only fear is taking care of them, she feels her blindness would make her a poor mother. She did talk to me about one family that had 2 blind parents, so she hopes she can still raise a child.

Tourist Clicks

Noticed 2 distinct tourist clicks in Thailand again this trip.

There is the sex tourist/sex pat click, they sort of hang out in the bar areas chasing women/men or ladyboys. They do not really go to other parts of Thailand or experience much Thai culture (some sex tourists/sex pats will visit the homes of their bargirl girlfriends). Sex pats generally hang around with other sex pats bitching about how bad Thai people are and complaining about other problems in Thailand (yet they never leave!). They always have an eye open for their next shor
time sex partner.

The second click is the backpacker click. They hang out in all the cheap guest house areas of Thailand, wear the same sort of loose fitting environmentally friendly clothing (got to get me one of those cloth hippy bags!). The backpacker click person also sees little of Thai culture (probably a bit more than the sex pat click) , they tend to hang out with other backpackers, living as cheap as possible (in other words very very cheap). They are usually more worried about money than in really enjoying themselves.

I guess I am speaking in broad terms here, in generalities but it seems in most cases I see the generalities fit.

Day in Chiang Kong

Had a very relaxed and quiet day here, did not make any portraits with the 4x5 but did shoot the XPAN a bit.

Met two interesting fellows out by the river when I went for an afternoon walk.

Khune Tong, a man of 64 who spoke very good English. Tong had lived for several years in Australia and New Zealand and had at one point in his life earned a good living. I guess he had several girlfriends in his life and feeling sorry for them had given them much of his money. Now Tong works as a fisherman and lives in a small shack within sight of my guest house. I have an appointment with him tomorrow to take a tour of the river in his small boat as well as make his portrait (Strong face and hat!).

The second man I met was Khune Som Pet. Som Pet is 35 years old skinny and tall and very shy. I talked to him in my poor Thai and he talked to me in his Lao/Thai. You see Som Pet is an illegal worker in Thailand, he came across the river to work illegally in Thailand because the pay is much higher here (similar to Mexican workers in the USA, Canada). Som Pet works driving a truck and comes down to the river now and again to see if he can make a bit of extra money. When I met him he was staring sadly across the river at Laos, he told me he missed his family.

To end the evening I had a 2 hour massage ($12 CAD) and some Pud Thai for 25 baht (80-85 cents). I finally feel like I am on a vacation!

Will stay here tonight and tomorrow before returning to Weaw's home to help her back to Chiang Mai (2 bus trips, one air con and one non air con). I will probably spend 1 maybe 2 days in days in Chiang Mai before returning to Bangkok on the overnight bus.

The World Of The Blind

Over the last few days spent a lot of time watching, talking and photographing Weaw. Her world is so small now, she is often left to her own thoughts. She cannot be distracted by TVs or Books (brail books are to expensive for her). She cannot see the mountain nearby, he asked me the other day "Gerry what color is the mountain now?" I told her it was covered with beautiful green trees. Today she asked me "Is the sun shining?" Her only outlet is her phone and thankfully her computer which she can use to chat with and send emails, she has a voice software that reads where her cursor is with a computer voice. She is very fast considering how difficult the process of hearing everything first and then trying to find the one link that she needs. The only problem she has is logging on to the net, she has taught her grand mom to help here with that.

We had a talk yesterday about whether it was better to see and then loose your sight and miss seeing or is it better to be born blind and never to have seen anything so you do not know what your missing. I made the argument that it was better to have seen and remember the color blue and then lose that then to never have seen color in your life. Weaw did not look convinced, she must miss seeing what she saw when she had sight, terribly. She must miss it so much she even wishes she had never seen anything. When I first met her I said without thinking "Weaw it is nice to see you again!" she aswered back "Yes but I cannot see you!" she said it with a smile. Today when I left her I said "I will not say see you again soon (will return in 2 days) this time and she laughed and said "Better to say I will feel you again in 2 days!".