Everything So Final

The thing that keeps going through my head 2 days after we buried dad is how final everything is. I will never speak to him, never joke, work with, kiss,  eat with and never photograph him again. That's all done forever. Somehow it just does not seem real to me yet, I expect to go over to Dad and Moms house today, not Moms house. I keep talking and thinking of dad in the present tense like I can pick up the phone and ask him how his day is going.