My mothers health is deteriorating, and there seems nothing can be done about it. Mom has been sick for the last 2 months or so with nausea and lack of appetite. She has had multiple scans, tests and medicines. Has visited the doctor, and emergency 4 times. Mom has lost around 35lbs, down from 200 to the 165 or so. We are trying to figure out why she is nauseous all the time, is it physical illness? A depression? No one can tell us. Will take her for another scan on the 24th and another doctors appointment on the 26th.
I feel so lost in all of this, trying everything I can think of to help mom. She seems to have lost much of her will for life, and just wanders around her large house feeling sick and not eating. She sounds so bad and worn out when she speaks and has short term memory problems. I have started taking her breakfasts each morning after work as she has stopped cooking for herself. This morning it was pancakes and an egg, yesterday bacon and eggs. Today, yesterday, the day before that I also cleaned her house a bit, washed her dishes, took out the garbage etc. We have also gotten her a home care nurse that comes to check to make sure she takes all her medications, another person comes once a week to give her a bath (bought a bath chair for her). I am looking into getting meals delivered to her home. Will have to buy her a bunch of groceries next week also as she is starting to run out of juices, milks etc.
Mom does not want to go to an old age home of any kind (she is 82) and she does not want me to move in with her to help her. It is all so frustrating and sad. She is falling apart bit by bit and nothing I do seems to matter much. Losing mom so soon after dad (3 years 3 months ago) is unbearable. It is all so painful, so hopeless. I have taken to crying quite often again about mom. The tears came two days when I was begging her to fight her illness, they come whenever I think of her to much, and again a few minutes ago when I spoke to her on the telephone. We lost dad at 82, I thought mom would last into her 90s (my grandmother lived to 96) but we might lose her at 82 as well.
There was a time when I was 47 when everything was so beautiful. Mom and dad were healthy and happy, I was working and doing my photography at a higher level. I remember thinking back then that I wish I could freeze time, stop the clock. Wouldn't that have be wonderful? Imagine if I could have stopped the clock then. I could go tomorrow and talk to my father and give him a kiss. I could see my mother and him happily watching TV or doing some cooking together.. Dad could tease mom then wink and smile at me when she bit back (he loved to tease her). That world, and all of those things I remember and love are gone forever.
Update: Tonight I keep thinking of what mom must be feeling now, it must be so frightening for her. Losing her abilities little by little, one by one, what could be could be more frightening? I need to do my best to help her through this most difficult part of her life. My mother was always there fore me as dad was, she always cared for all the others in her life, she them first ahead of her own needs. Mom took care her mother (baba) in old age, her daughter, and dad when he got pancreatic cancer. If anyone has earned the right to be taken care of now it's my mother.
I feel so lost in all of this, trying everything I can think of to help mom. She seems to have lost much of her will for life, and just wanders around her large house feeling sick and not eating. She sounds so bad and worn out when she speaks and has short term memory problems. I have started taking her breakfasts each morning after work as she has stopped cooking for herself. This morning it was pancakes and an egg, yesterday bacon and eggs. Today, yesterday, the day before that I also cleaned her house a bit, washed her dishes, took out the garbage etc. We have also gotten her a home care nurse that comes to check to make sure she takes all her medications, another person comes once a week to give her a bath (bought a bath chair for her). I am looking into getting meals delivered to her home. Will have to buy her a bunch of groceries next week also as she is starting to run out of juices, milks etc.
Mom does not want to go to an old age home of any kind (she is 82) and she does not want me to move in with her to help her. It is all so frustrating and sad. She is falling apart bit by bit and nothing I do seems to matter much. Losing mom so soon after dad (3 years 3 months ago) is unbearable. It is all so painful, so hopeless. I have taken to crying quite often again about mom. The tears came two days when I was begging her to fight her illness, they come whenever I think of her to much, and again a few minutes ago when I spoke to her on the telephone. We lost dad at 82, I thought mom would last into her 90s (my grandmother lived to 96) but we might lose her at 82 as well.
There was a time when I was 47 when everything was so beautiful. Mom and dad were healthy and happy, I was working and doing my photography at a higher level. I remember thinking back then that I wish I could freeze time, stop the clock. Wouldn't that have be wonderful? Imagine if I could have stopped the clock then. I could go tomorrow and talk to my father and give him a kiss. I could see my mother and him happily watching TV or doing some cooking together.. Dad could tease mom then wink and smile at me when she bit back (he loved to tease her). That world, and all of those things I remember and love are gone forever.
Update: Tonight I keep thinking of what mom must be feeling now, it must be so frightening for her. Losing her abilities little by little, one by one, what could be could be more frightening? I need to do my best to help her through this most difficult part of her life. My mother was always there fore me as dad was, she always cared for all the others in her life, she them first ahead of her own needs. Mom took care her mother (baba) in old age, her daughter, and dad when he got pancreatic cancer. If anyone has earned the right to be taken care of now it's my mother.
