It has now been 1 year 5 months since dad passed away but it is still so hard to be without him. I have flashbacks, dreams and constant memories of him. Things set me off all the time. This morning after work when I went to my mother and fathers house to pick up some garden grown green onions, memories of my father flooded back.
Over the years my father would very often be waiting for me in the kitchen when I showed up on days like today. He would be up and waiting for me at 530am or 6am in the morning. He would never tell me he got up just to speak to me, to spend time with me but he was almost alway there waiting when I arrived. He would often have something for me to eat or drink and we would sit and talk for 30 minutes or an hour. When I left dad would always give me something, some pyrogies, a shirt or jacket he had bought, some bread, often money, $40, $50 sometimes $100. Even thou I insisted I did not need the money, that I was working, was OK and that he should keep it, dad would always make me take the dollars. He would always tell me "You need it more than I do".
Oh how I miss our mornings together, that special time we shared. Today I went to their house after my nightshift and his chair was empty and the room dark. It was all so negative and depressing, how long before my mom is gone too? How long until both of them are gone forever. I just wish I could have one more talk with my dad, one more morning meet and greet session. I could tell him all the news, everything that has happened since he left us. We could share a quiet morning together, just him and me. How wonderful that would be.
Over the years my father would very often be waiting for me in the kitchen when I showed up on days like today. He would be up and waiting for me at 530am or 6am in the morning. He would never tell me he got up just to speak to me, to spend time with me but he was almost alway there waiting when I arrived. He would often have something for me to eat or drink and we would sit and talk for 30 minutes or an hour. When I left dad would always give me something, some pyrogies, a shirt or jacket he had bought, some bread, often money, $40, $50 sometimes $100. Even thou I insisted I did not need the money, that I was working, was OK and that he should keep it, dad would always make me take the dollars. He would always tell me "You need it more than I do".
Oh how I miss our mornings together, that special time we shared. Today I went to their house after my nightshift and his chair was empty and the room dark. It was all so negative and depressing, how long before my mom is gone too? How long until both of them are gone forever. I just wish I could have one more talk with my dad, one more morning meet and greet session. I could tell him all the news, everything that has happened since he left us. We could share a quiet morning together, just him and me. How wonderful that would be.
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| Dad February 2011, 4 years before he passed away from Pancreatic Cancer. |
