This image was made about 2 days before my father died. Dad had stopped eating 2 days before. He was still talking, right till the last time he fell asleep before dying he told mom "I am going to have a sleep" and never woke up. Dad always wanted to die in his sleep, and in the end that is what happened.
That last week dad spent a lot of his time staring up at the ceiling, his eyes had gotten bigger, they had such a sorrowful, empty, confused feel to them. I believe at this point my father was looking into his death, foreseeing what was going to happen soon. He had so much courage that last week, he decided it was time, he stopped eating, a few days later he went to sleep and was gone.
Dad gave me these last photographs. He saw, understand and knew I was photographing him right to the end and supported my taking photos. It was his final gift to me. Dad also knew about the Rosebud and Louie Gallery exhibitions. I will continue to try to exhibit the photos from the "My Fathers Last Days" series at other galleries.
This is a very difficult negative to print, both emotionally and technically. Looking at dad in this condition for hours on end in the darkroom is so hard. Initially I chose a very similar negative with dads mouth closed but I felt this 2nd neg communicated his condition better, the expression, the eyes was more true and telling. I feel it is an important photograph and will be part of the Rosebud exhibition, the second last print of the "My Fathers Last Days" Series. The final print in the series and the show will be dad in his coffin. I still need to make the coffin print, it will not be fun to do. Printing is almost always fun for me to do, not this time.
This photo is the first attempt at the neg. The print has 2 filter grades, 3 dodges, 4 burns with a card, and 2 burns with a mask. Some of the burns are very long 200 seconds at max aperture.
Update* I made up 3 more prints of this photograph before shutting it down. I think I got the image, will let the prints dry and re-evaluate tomorrow. Will also do a quick mask for the coffin photo before sleeping. 12+ hours in the dark is enough, tonight I will have another printing opportunity, and I also have Sunday night Monday morning.
That last week dad spent a lot of his time staring up at the ceiling, his eyes had gotten bigger, they had such a sorrowful, empty, confused feel to them. I believe at this point my father was looking into his death, foreseeing what was going to happen soon. He had so much courage that last week, he decided it was time, he stopped eating, a few days later he went to sleep and was gone.
Dad gave me these last photographs. He saw, understand and knew I was photographing him right to the end and supported my taking photos. It was his final gift to me. Dad also knew about the Rosebud and Louie Gallery exhibitions. I will continue to try to exhibit the photos from the "My Fathers Last Days" series at other galleries.
This is a very difficult negative to print, both emotionally and technically. Looking at dad in this condition for hours on end in the darkroom is so hard. Initially I chose a very similar negative with dads mouth closed but I felt this 2nd neg communicated his condition better, the expression, the eyes was more true and telling. I feel it is an important photograph and will be part of the Rosebud exhibition, the second last print of the "My Fathers Last Days" Series. The final print in the series and the show will be dad in his coffin. I still need to make the coffin print, it will not be fun to do. Printing is almost always fun for me to do, not this time.
This photo is the first attempt at the neg. The print has 2 filter grades, 3 dodges, 4 burns with a card, and 2 burns with a mask. Some of the burns are very long 200 seconds at max aperture.
Update* I made up 3 more prints of this photograph before shutting it down. I think I got the image, will let the prints dry and re-evaluate tomorrow. Will also do a quick mask for the coffin photo before sleeping. 12+ hours in the dark is enough, tonight I will have another printing opportunity, and I also have Sunday night Monday morning.
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| First printing attempt, 2 days before dad died, Canada February 2015, Durst 1200 enlarger |
