Social Documentary Photography for a Better World!

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Monday, July 9, 2018

How The Rescue In The Chiang Rai Thai cave Is Happening

Here are some photos explaining the rescue technique along with the boys involved. When the world works together as a team, when we put, unity, humanity and empathy above nationality, greed and selfishness so many good things can happen.

The 12 young football team boys being saved

Quote: Father Shay Cullen

From early in his book "Passion and Power" (page 83) Father Shay Cullen asks this question:

"I was soon trudging out into the slums with a small band of brothers, making our way through crowds of poor hungry people, many of whom shuffled along from weakness or deformity. I passed emaciated mothers feeding skinny babies from deflated breasts and naked children with potbellies playing in the filthy gutters. It was a depressing sight and, while I walked with the brothers through this wilderness of human suffering. I longed to be able to change it all. In a world of vast wealth and riches and mountains of surplus food, why were so many starving and dying in pain and loneliness, rejected and abandoned?"

Is America Great Again?

The USA has become a land of intolerance and hate under Donald Trump.

From CNN:
 91 Year Old Beaten With A Brick, Told To Go Back To Your Country
Rodolfo Rodriguez was out for a walk on the Fourth of July when he was attacked.

Thai Football Coach Trying To Make Up For His Mistake, More About The Soccer Team Members

This is from a CNN story on the trapped soccer teams. So far 8 of the 13 have been rescued. This seems to be a well organized and thought out rescue by the Thais and the international group working with them. If the world works together so much good can happen! We need to do more of that, more us and less me stuff. We share a common humanity and need to think that way over race, religion, nationalities, sexual orientation, gender etc.

from the CNN story:

Assistant coach Ekapol Chantawong, 25, was said to be the weakest of the group when they were found, as he reportedly refused to eat any of the food and gave it instead to the boys.

Who are the boys and their coach?

Some details have emerged of members of the team and their coach.
Captain Duganpet Promtep, 13, is described as a motivator and highly respected by his teammates. He had apparently been scouted by several Thai professional clubs.
Myanmar-born Adul Sam-on, 14, speaks several languages, and was the only team member to be able to communicate with British divers when they were first discovered.
It was 17-year-old Peerapat Sompiangjai's birthday when the group became trapped in the cave. The snacks the boys brought with them to celebrate are likely to have helped them survive their ordeal.
Assistant coach Ekapol Chantawong, 25, was said to be the weakest of the group when they were found, as he reportedly refused to eat any of the food and gave it instead to the boys.

Sunday, July 8, 2018

No Photo Work Done This Week Off

No photo work, no darkroom work, no printing for the Penticton show done this week, no time to do any of that. All my time this week was taken up taking care of my mother. I hope in the coming weeks to find some time somehow to do the printing and framing I need to do, time is quickly running out. The show opens the 3rd week of September 2013.

Penticton Art Gallery: Children of the Dump Exhibition

Exhausted Caring For Mom

Spent the whole week with mom, some nights I slept over, other nights I snuck out after she went to bed. Mom got new medication this week after a geriatric doctors visit on Friday. The doctor says she has minor dementia.  It will probably get worse over time.

This week I cooked her meals, washed clothes, washed dishes, cleaned the house, took out the garbage etc etc etc. The most important thing was keeping mom occupied and calm while giving her her medications on time. I had to reply and interact with mom hour after hour, often repeating the same things 40-50-60 times. Moms short term memory is mostly gone, she writes note books (she is on her 5th) full of sentences to calm her self and occupy her mind and to remember things. Often she asks me to write something for her before she will copy it 1 to 40 times herself. Things like I WILL CALM DOWN AND RELAX or I TOOK MY ANXIETY PILLS AT 515pm.

When she tries to sleep I have been sitting on the floor next to her bed holding her hand and calmly saying...I WILL CALM C-A-L-M down D-O-W-N and relax R-E--L-A-X. I say those words and slight variations for 15 minutes or 30 minutes at a time. I will then sit on the floor quietly until she goes to bed, then sneak out of the room and try to close the doors without her waking. Mom wakes easily, many nights I have had to do this 4 or 5 times. The sleeping pills she gets now as part of her new prescription allow her to sleep 12 hours at a time (she has done that the last 2 nights, hopefully tonight as well).

Things have gone easier since the new pills on Friday. The new anti anxiety pill she got from the geriatric doctor should allow her to relax more and stop pacing and be so agitated. This pill take 30 days to fully activate and work properly, today was day 2 of taking them

I worry about moms well being next week, I have to go back to doing my 12 hour night shifts. We got home care workers to come in during the week to give her medication, and another full time worker to stay with her from 1245 till 9pm each day. We might also be trying to schedule a night shift person as well later.

Going back to work my night shifts should be a less physically taxing and much much less mentally taxing a week for me. I will need to check on mom everyday after work and probably before work. Need to also make up her constipation drink each day, feed her cat and make sure there are no other problems. I bought a bunch of frozen dinners for her tonight, I hope the worker can give them to her (still checking that out). I got a cell phone (hate the damn things) so that mom could call me 24/7 if there is a problem, or she needs help calming down etc.

Mom was so so happy she did not have to go to a home on Friday, she thought she was losing her independence and was very depressed and anxious about it. I want to keep her out of a home as long as I can, I owe that to my beautiful mother.

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Notes From 12 Stranded Boys

The 12 boys and 1 coach currently stranded in the flooding Chiang Rai cave wrote these notes to their families. Brave and selfless statements of courage and caring.

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Chanin Wibulrungruang (Tun): Dad and mum, don’t worry. I am fine. Please tell Brother Yod to get prepared to take me to a fried chicken shop. Love you all!

Ekkapol Chanthawong (Coach Ake): To parents of all the children: The children are doing well. There are staff who take good care of them. I promise to take care of them as best as I can. I would like to thank you for all the moral support. And I would like to apologise to all the parents.

To my aunt and grandmother: I am doing well. Don’t worry too much about me. Please take good care of yourselves. Aunt, please tell grandma to please prepare the vegetable juice and fried pork skin for me. I’ll eat them when I come out. I love you all.

Sompong Jaiwong (Pong): I you dad and mum. Don’t worry. We are all safe now. Love you all.

Pipat Photi (Nik): I love you, dad and mum. I love my siblings as well. When I come out, please take me to a pork pan (shabu) shop. Love you all.

Mongkol Boonpiam (Mark): Mum, are you doing well at home? I am doing well. Please tell my teacher I love her. Love you, mum.

Phanumart Saengdee (Mik): Don’t worry about me. I miss you all, grandpa, aunt, mother, dad and siblings. I am happy inside here. The SEALs take good care of me. Love you all.

Ekkarat Wongsukchan (Bew): Don’t worry about me, dad and mum. I’ll be away for just two weeks. I’ll later help you, mum, sell goods when I have time. I’ll rush out of here.

Pornchai Khamluang (Tee): Don’t worry about me. I hope you all, dad, mum, and siblings, are happy.

Duangphet Promthep (Tom): I am doing well. But the air is cold. Don’t worry. But don’t forget my birthday party.

Adul Sam-on (Adul): Don’t worry about us now. I miss you all. I would like to go home as soon as possible.

Pirapat Sompiangchai (Knight): I love you, dad and mum. Don’t worry about me. I love you all.

Natthawut Thakhamsai (Toel): I miss you dad and mum. I love you all. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.

Prachak Sutham (Note): I am safe and doing well. Don’t worry. I love you dad and mum.

Quote: Thai Boy Trapped In Underwater Cave

"I love everybody. I'm happy in here. The seals take really good care of me. I love everybody."

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Email: Moms Illness Bad And Now A Break In

Lots of bad stuff happening now. Spent the last 4 nights with mom taking care of her. She is bad shape, very scared and confused, it is so sad so heartbreaking, cried loud last night before sleeping, just broke down thinking of how tough things are for mom, how unfair it it to her, how desperately she wants to be better, how she deserves a better life, how I am failing her......now this thing happened from an email to a friend.


Larry....

got a call from tonight at 10pm while I was with mom at her home. There was a break at my home (5 minutes drive away), the garage and shed and almost the house..damage to all...2 bikes stolen etc....now waiting for police to do up a report..been waiting 2 hours might be another 2 hour wait...taking mom to doctor at 7am..will not sleep tonight...lots of bad shit happening...still life is better here than the life in the dump and elsewhere,,one of the good things about social doc photography is it puts things in perspective.....got to make the best of it....will get through this..

Gerry

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Quote: Justin Trudeau

“To those fleeing persecution, terror & war, Canadians will welcome you, regardless of your faith. Diversity is our strength.”

Monday, June 25, 2018

Photo Idea: ULF Portraits Of Mom

Thinking of doing a series of headshot portraits to document my mothers fight with her illness (dementia?). Possibly with a ULF 11x14 camera or the 16x20 Chamonix camera (first time I would be using this camera). Would try these portraits with shorter focal length lens to create some distortion along with shallower depth of fields. In studio on white background? Or under natural light? Am not sure just yet. I might be able to use the negs to do platinum prints later on, or at worst large effective silver gelatin prints.

David Goldblatt Dies At 87

The compassionate and important social documentary humanitarian photographer David Goldblatt died today. I heard him speak several years back in New Orleans, a wonderful man who did very important work. He left a legacy of very important photographs behind what will continue to speak for him.
---------------------------------
By AFP
JOHANNESBURG: South African photographer David Goldblatt, whose work documented the abuses and divisions of apartheid, died in his sleep on Monday, a leading gallery announced. He was 87.  
"He passed away peacefully in his sleep at 5:37 am (0337 GMT) in his home in Johannesburg," Liza Essers, the director of the Goodman Gallery, told AFP.
He will be buried Tuesday in Johannesburg.
For millions of people outside South Africa, Goldblatt work's lifted the veil on the nightmare of apartheid, under which the white-minority government's enshrined racial divisions under law from 1948.
In 1988, he was the first South African to be given a solo exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York.
A year later he founded the Market Photography Workshop in Johannesburg in 1989, which has since become a hub for developing young talent in the city.
In post-apartheid South Africa, he remained a revered figure and even turned down a national honour in protest against a proposed state secrets bill in 2011.
Two years later then president Jacob Zuma refused to sign the bill, which would have imposed penalties of up to 25 years in prison for the release of top secret documents, and sent it back to parliament.
"We have lost yet another of our own celebrated photographers, who through the lens built a reputation as one of the country’s leading documenters of the struggles of our people," President Cyril Ramaphosa said in a statement.
"He captured the social and moral value systems that portrayed South Africa during a period of the apartheid system in order to influence its changing political landscape," said the president.
South African art conservator Monique Vajifdar described Goldblatt as "one of South Africa's most accomplished social chroniclers."
"A great tree has fallen and we have lost one of our national living treasures," said Vajifdar.
He is survived by his wife Lily, three children and grandchildren.

South African photographer David Goldblatt poses on January 11, 2011 at Henri Cartier-Bresson Foundation in Paris, on the eve of the start of his exhibition. (File Photo | AFP)

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Moms Health Problems Get Worse

Moms health continues to deteriorate, we will have to admit her to a long term care dementia facility of some kind. Spent the last 3 nights and days taking care of mom full time, there were multiple ambulance calls-visits and a hospital visit. She is very confused and constantly demands medicines and calls to 911 for an ambulance.

I have to start working night security again soon, will try to get mom admitted into hospital today (the last attempt failed). Am working on the necessary steps to get mom the proper help at a long term care facility where she can have 24 hour nurses.

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Art Acquisition Rejection 2018

Got a another rejection email from the Art Foundation of Alberta today. This reject was for the 5 new colour images form the 2018 trip to the dump in Thailand. I guess they did not like the story of the lives of "Families of the Dump"
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Thank you for your application to the Alberta Foundation for the Arts Art Acquisition by Application Program. There were a total of 670 works submitted for consideration, received from 165 artists across the province.

Your submission has been assessed by an expert panel, comprised of members from the Alberta art community. I regret to inform you that the work you submitted for this deadline was not selected for acquisition. It is disappointing to be rejected yet again, I could have raised awareness of the lives of the families and made a bit of money (greatly needed) as well. Here is the rejection email.

Update* I might try the Japan subway "KODOKU" (solitude) pictures next year.
--------------------------------

We appreciate your interest in the programs offered by the AFA and encourage you to apply at the next available deadline, which is April 1st, 2019.

You can find the most recent Expert Panel feedback in the guidelines of the Art Acquisition by Application funding opportunity, under the drop down section "Helpful resources". Alternatively, you can find this information for all project opportunities on our Expert Panel feedback archive page.

https://www.affta.ab.ca/expert-panel-feedback-archive

If you have any questions regarding your application, please contact Elizabeth Capak at 780.638.2850. If required, a toll-free connection is available by first dialing 310.0000.

Yours sincerely,

E--- M------

Manager, Art Collections

----------------------------------

Here is a link to the rejected photographs. The best I can do, the best I have ever done, of the most important worthwhile subject I have ever photographed and it is still not good enough for the AFA jury.

http://gerryyaum.blogspot.com/2018/04/alberta-foundation-for-arts-art-by.html

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Email: Moms Dementia?

Yesterday was most difficult day of my life and of course much much more difficult for mom. My wonderful mother has what might be an early form of dementia. I am not sure if that is the diagnosis but that seems like it might be the case. Here is part of an email I wrote to my uncle and aunt, my mothers older brother and sister in law.

For the first time in my life I was the caregiver to mom. Never before have I not did everything she asked, but now it seems she does not understand any longer and I must make some choices for her. Starting to tear up again, best to just paste the email and try to sleep some more before I go back to visit mom and check on her progress. Need a bit more sleep now, was up for around 26 straight hours yesterday after around a 4 hour sleep the night before.

What my mother is going through is likely going to be much worse than dads 13 month fight with pancreatic cancer. I am going to need to help mom as much as I can, to make her next journey a tiny bit easier. If anyone deserves to be taken care of it is my mother. She always put every ones well being ahead of her own. Mom took care of my grand mother for many years as her health slowly deteriorated,  she took care of my father when he got sick with cancer (mom would not let him go to a dying hospital, she cared for him at the home he loved till he died) and she took care my sister when she had her many family troubles over the years. Mom has always been so caring and loving to me as well, always worried about my travels, always hugging and kissing, always wanting what was best for me

Here is the email to my uncle and aunt about what happened last night.

----------------------------
Uncle F-----Aunt J----

I was with mom in the R---- A---- (hospital) emergency until 255am, around 10-11 hours. The doctor decided to admit mom because she has a urine (bladder) infection, they want to give her and IV to fight the infection. She will stay in the hospital a minimum of 2 days, possibly longer. When I left she was getting the IV injection and after that she was going to be taken up to the ward to sleep. 

Today was a terrible day for mom. I am now pretty much convinced she cannot live alone any longer unless there is improvement on a very large scale. She was very confused, asking me the same questions over and over again. Some questions I answered upwards of 50 times. Sometimes 1 minute (or less) after I answered the question she would ask it again, and then 40 seconds after that ask it a 3rd time again. If I did not answer it quick enough mom would try to go to the nurses counter to ask in person (even thou she had asked them 5 or 6 times already).


Things got really bad with mom at the end where she could not stop pacing (after midnight) and kept asking the nurses for nausea medication. Even after they gave her some she almost immediately forgot they had given her anything, within about 3 minutes she had forgotten and was asking for more. And then I needed to tell her 20 or so times that she had taken the medication. And explain 40 or so times when the doctor was coming, what was taking so long, what the next steps were in her care etc. She asked to go home maybe 25 times, said she wanted to die 2 times. The whole evening was so difficult for her. Before tonight I kept thinking she would get better, but now I think the illness is in her mind and there will be no magic cures, this is probably forever. Mom kept asking for a pill that would make her better, it broke your heart. She kept saying "Gerald take me home, I want to sleep. Gerald I feel so nauseous, I feel like throwing up. Gerald why can't they give something to help me, make me feel better."



Being in emergency was very stress full her. What I found was the best way to calm her down was to hold her hand when she walked, and walk slowly while talking to her of something from the past, something she remembered well. Before I had been walking beside her but holding her hand and talking was much better. Then I would ask her to sit down, and I sat directly across from her holding both hands and moving them up and down a little bit, up and down. Then I would ask her stories about Baba and Gido (Grandmother-Grandfather) or Uncle F---- and Uncle M---- and she would relax some. Instead of jumping up and walking again after 30 seconds or maybe 1 minute I could hold her in her chair using this method for up to 10 minutes. Then we would walk, hold hands and talk, then sit with 2 hand holds and talk, then walk etc...did that maybe 7-10 times before the doctor came and told us what I was happening and I finally got her to lie down in the bed and relax a bit.
.............
.............
Thanks for listening Uncle F---- and Aunt J----, it helps me to write these notes.....Gerald

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Quote: Joseph Goebbels

"Make the lie big, keep it simple, keeping saying it and eventually they will believe it."

Monday, June 18, 2018

Links: Learning Tagalog

I have started to learn Tagalog for my anticipated 2019 trip to the Philippines (my first trip). Here are some links I have been using to study, just in case you all want to learn with me. Things are coming along slowly after 10 months or so of intensive effort I might be able to speak in simple ways directly to the Filipino people, more importantly I can hear what they are telling me. Only after listening and learning from them can a bit of understanding happen.

Good YouTube Video Tagalog Teaching Source
Online Google Dictionary With Audio, English To Tagalog

Sunday, June 17, 2018

FACEBOOK Post Update With Link


Hey all, since my return to Canada II have not really done much facebooking. Felt I sort of overdid it a bit in Asia. Now I am chilling in Canada, getting healthy, and doing post photo work in the darkroom and on the computer. Am also taking care of my mother whose health has deteriated. She is doing a bit better now, so feel good about that.

Am reading the life story of a Irish priest in the Philippines. A fascinating tale of a mans fight for the rights of the poor. Father Shay has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize 4 times. If any of you are interested below is a blog link with the book title etc. I contacted Father Shay who kindly invited me to visit him in the Philippines at his aid organization PREDA. He also wrote me an incredibly nice and inspiring email related to the dump "Families" work in Mae Sot. 

Because of this new book and the important work being done there I have decided that I need to go to the Philippines next trip (Thai and the dump also). To that end I have started to learn Tagalog (Filipino). My head hurts!!!! Learning a language at 54 is daunting. I think Tagalog can be learned thou, all it requires is enough determination and effort. Still it hurts my itty bitty mind! I keep forgetting and getting the words mixed up but it is coming slowly, slow and steady.
AKO MATUTO SA MAGSALITA TAGALOG...

I think that means, "I am learning to speak Tagalog". Need some Filipino friends to practise with. Hopefully I can go to the Philippines next year to make photographs and visit Father Shay and PREDA. I also want to photograph and meet families living in Manilas graveyards and in the imfamous Tondo slum. Never been to Phil so it all is a bit iffy, a bit dangerous, but you got to try to do new stuff, chase new opportunities, enter new lives, make new friends and photographs. At one time going to the dump in Mae Sot seemed iffy, dangerous and difficult. Now not so much! Now the dump is filled with friends, some very close. Here is the link to the book.
Hope your all well...IBIG (love) Gerry

https://gerryyaum.blogspot.com/2018/06/passion-and-power-by-fr-shay-cullen.html 

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Wrote Fr. Shay

I wrote Father Shay a few days back, thanked him and told him about the work being done in the Mae Sot dump. We have exchanged a few emails since then then. What a generous good hearted man. His note is extremely encouraging and inspiring especially after all the recent grant and gallery rejections.

Here is the email. Please if you can donate to his organization which helps the Filipino people, PREDA. If I visit the Philippines I plan on visiting Preda and Fr. Shay. Might try to go there for the first time next year.

Letters like this from a good man who sacrifices to help others berfore himself are so uplifting. I thought I would share the email with you all.

Note* Fr Shay has been nominated for the Nobel Peace prize 4 times.

Dear Gerry,

I say congratulations on your great  charity work ,fundraising , and leading a life worth living  helping others and documenting and advocating for the  poor.  The photos are  excellent and well done.  If you are ever you can visiting the Philippines you are very welcome to visit me here in Preda ,at Olongapo City.  Keep up the good work and your photography  you are a great example to others too and inspiring many people with your good works. Well done !!    Every  success in finishing the book ,where did you find it ?
Every blessing and happiness   

Fr.Shay  
www.preda.org

"Passion And Power" By Fr. Shay Cullen

A few days back I started to read a book written by Father Shay Cullen who is an Irish catholic priest living and working in the Philippines. He has been living with the poorest of the poor and helping those in need for over 30 years now. Father Shay's book is a difficult but very important read. It deals with his life in the Philippines and the fight against the exploitation of children and young women working the sex bars of the Philippines. Father Shay's work with the poor, corruption in the country, many beautiful and sad stories are covered. It is a book of heart and caring. I recommend it to everyone out there. Please take the time to buy and read it.

Passion and Power by Father Shay Cullen

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Quote: Will Rogers

"Don't let yesterday take up to much of today."

Quote: Dalai Lama

"Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can't help them at least don't hurt them."

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Gallery Rejection Note

Another gallery rejection, do not even remember submitting work to this place. Nice of them to send me the generic note.
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Hello,
Thank you for submitting a proposal for the 2019 exhibition season at the Harris-Warke Gallery and please forgive the delay in providing a response. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you a show at this time.

We were encouraged by the response to our call for submissions and received individual and group proposals representing both emerging and professional artists.  We selected eight shows that reflect diverse practices and we look forward to presenting the results in the gallery next year.

Thanks again for your interest. As fellow artists, we appreciate you taking the time to prepare a proposal and enjoyed learning about your work.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us

We wish you success in your continued work.

Mom Dad Dream

Am back after 3 days camping. On the second night I had a dream about mom and dad. They were laying in a hospital bed dad was hugging mom, there were tubes, medical tubes of all kinds attached to their bodies. Dad had a tube down his nose, mom had a IV in her arm, there were many other tubes hooked up to big machines. It was a frightening look, a scary dream. The strange thing was they seemed content, and happy in a way.

Mom is in the hospital until the 14th at least, dad is gone. I wish I would stop having dreams like this. I miss dad so much. How much time does mom have left?

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Off Camping

Am off camping for 3 nights, to Jasper Alberta. It should be a nice change of pace of the craziness of the last 1/2 year plus. Going to take some stereo photos, eat, read, sleep and hike about. The beauty of nature will be a nice soothing experience after the dump world and my hectic return to Canada.

Update: Saw a bobcat behind my campsite. It was rather amazing, it was the first cat of any kind I have ever seen in a Canadian national park.

Toronto "Families of the Dump" Presentation Completed

Finally completed the long (166mb) word presentation on the "Families of the Dump" for Bob C in Toronto. It was a long and sometimes painful process but I managed to put together something that I hope will work. I made both a longer worded and shorter worded version.

Basically it broke down to the following sections. a biography-references , a CV, a artist statement, a series of blog stories written from 2013 to 2018 with accompanying pictures (lots and lots of pictures). It ended with a section on the donation work done and the hoped for future donation efforts.

Glad that paper work is done with, at least I hope that's the case.

Hopefully this will all lead to more exposure for the work, more exhibitions and more importantly some solid fundraising for the families. Social documentary photography is all about helping people, lets do some of that!

Monday, June 4, 2018

Quote: Ted Kennedy (Eulogy To His Brother Bobby)

"Bobby should be remembered simply as a good and decent man who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it."

Sunday, June 3, 2018

The Real Me? Taking Off My Mask

One bad part in all of this down east major opportunity is that Bob has asked me to come out from behind my Gerry Yaum pseudonym and use my real name for this project, exhibitions and fundraising efforts (assuming they happen). The reason being is that people will not give money to a guy not using his real name, they worry about fraud etc. I can understand that, helping the people would pull me away from the name, it is that important.

I hate leaving Yaum behind thou, I would rather say Yaum forever. Who the f-ck cares about the real me? I am of no importance. Too many folks everywhere, all the time are selfishly worried about getting famous, putting their name on a wall, having everyone pat them on the back etc.  I have never been into that. Flattery has always made me cringe. I want the work and the stories to be famous of course, to have a far reaching and lasting impact but I could care less about the rest.

I hope I can stay Yaum, but it might be impossible to do.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Working On A "Families Of The Dump" Presentation

Over the last month I have been working on a presentation of the "Families of the Dump" project. It will include a biography of myself (requested) as well as section detailing fundraising. The entire presentation needs to be completed by this coming Tuesday. I will then send it down East to my contact, Bob C in Toronto. Hopefully this will lead to an exhibition in Toronto during the Scotiabank Contact Photography Festival 2019. There might also be a fund raiser to help the the families and the potential for more than one exhibition, possibly multiple exhibitions in Ontario and Quebec.

Will see how this all goes down, lots of loose strings, not sure if any good things will happen or if it will all lead to nothing. We can only try to do our best, and hope for a positive outcome!!

Quote: Georg Buchner (German Writer)

"Once should try it, immerse oneself in the life of the lowest of the low, reproduce his every gesture and twitch, his innuendos, the whole subtle and scarcely noticeable play of his features....No man should appear too lowly or ugly for one. Only then can one understand mankind."

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Missed Grant Writing Workshop

Last Saturday I missed out on a chance to attend a grant writing conference for EAC (Edmonton Art Council) grants. I had signed up and was accepted to the free course but had to cancel when moms doctors appointment was scheduled at the same time. It sucked to miss this thing but I got to take care of mom first, that is a no brainer. I think I have failed on my last 10 or so EAC grant attempts, I am doing something wrong. Will try to attend the next workshop if they have it again.

Dreamt Of Dad

Just had a short dad dream. We were traveling together and were sitting at a restaurant called the "Pink Rabbit". This restaurant was in a location of multiple restaurants on a high way corner. Every restaurant was on a cliff of overlooking the sea.

The "Pink Rabbit" was closing down, it was their last day. The management of all the corner cliff restaurants were handing out brochures on how to open and and run a business. That was always dads dream, to own a restaurant to cook in a restaurant. The course was going to take place in 3 years time. In the dream dad was in his 80s and very sick with cancer but he looked at me and told me about the conference. He never asked me to go but I knew he wanted to. I kissed him on the forehead and told him I would drive him back in 3 years so he could learn how to open his own restaurant. In the dream I admired his strength and courage, I thought "here he is in his 80s with cancer and he will not give up, he has dreams". Then I woke up.

The dream was like my dad, my father, working hard till the end. I need to show the same courage and re-devote myself to my photography, screw what the JURIES say. I will succeed! I will get my stories told! I will get a book published! I will follow my fathers example.

Another Grant Failure

Got rejected for the Burtynsky book grant for the second time. They chose to produce a book on aging and the family or as the jury put it "images of her family members interacting with textiles, household objects and each other" over children and families living in garbage. Guess they thought it was the more important story to tell. I do like the photo included below. The subject of one family thou seems to lack scope. Would like to see more photos, the interacting with textiles and household objects sounds BIZARRE!

You got to love the totally impersonal generic email the CONTACT TEAM sent out. Looks to be written by a robot.

A depressing failure again. I doubt I will ever have a real photo book published. A lifetime of photography, a lifetime of devotion and not one book, rather pathetic.

Burtynsky Grant


Birthe Piontek
Birthe Piontek, Holding, 2015, from Abendlied. Courtesy of the artist.
2018 Burtynsky Grant awarded to Birthe Piontek for Abendlied
Canadian photographer Edward Burtynsky and CONTACT established the Burtynsky Grant in 2016—a $5,000 annual grant to support Canadian artists and photographers who are at the advanced stages of developing a photobook for publication.
The jury—Edward BurtynskyTaia Kwinter (Associate Managing Editor, Aperture), Maxine Proctor(Managing Editor, BlackFlash; director and co-founder, Toronto Art Book Fair) and Marcus Schubert (Director of Media, Publications & Exhibits, Burtynsky Studios)—considered many innovative and compelling book projects from across Canada.
“Birthe Piontek’s Abendlied examines how individual relationships in a family are shaped by the processes of growing up, aging, and eventually letting go. Piontek’s well-resolved book project sequences images of her family members interacting with textiles, household objects, and each other to weave a cohesive yet curious narrative about identity and belonging.” – The Jury
Good morning,

Thank you for your submission to the 2018 Burtynsky Grant. We received close to 100 submissions from across Canada, and the jury considered many innovative and compelling projects.

The winner of this year’s grant is Vancouver-based Birthe Piontek for her photobook Abendlied. The jury would also like to acknowledge two Honourable Mentions: Eve Tagny’s Lost Love and Ian Willms’ We Shall See. See our website for more details: https://scotiabankcontactphoto.com/awards#burtynsky-grant

We hope you will consider submitting to the grant again in 2019. Until then, we wish you all the best.

The CONTACT Team

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Photo Idea: "Lost Innocence"

Just had an idea for the "Lost Innocence" photography project. What if instead of making portraits in one place I did it in several countries. What if I did 5 portraits in a similar connected style in 5 different countries. Not sure where those countries would be probably all in South East Asia, Possibly places like Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Nepal? Showing the workers in multitude of different countries would reinforce the ugliness and universality of this type of abuse.

I am thinking of doing tight head shots, in color with a high end digital camera possibly a 50mb Hasselblad. I would then make extremely large wall sized prints for exhibition. The idea is to hit the gallery viewer over the head, slap them into being aware of these abused and used up lives. People in this world are used up, spit out and forgotten, the photographs would become a living memory of who they are-were and their importance.

Note* "Lost Innocence" deals with the forgotten lives of the poor young women who are condemned to live and die in lowest form of sex worker life, the brothel worker.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Quote: James Poniewozik (Writer)

Commenting on the Roseanne TV show cancellation.

"At least it picked the right one here. The battle against bigotry is not just about bigots. It’s about those who reap the benefits of ignoring bigots, and still think they should be able to call themselves good people. When an institution like ABC takes a stand — in prime time, where people notice it — that matters."

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Quote: Diane Arbus

"I don't press the shutter. The image does. And it's being gently clobbered."

Next Week Off

Just going over in my mind what I will be doing my next week off.

- yard work.
- darkroom work, start to print the Penticton "Forgotten Laughter: Children of the Dump" photos
- take care of mom, cook her breakfasts, buy groceries, cut her lawn, take her to x-ray appointment, take her to doctor appointment.
- maybe do a bit of biking, go to the driving range and hit some golf balls.
- start photographing mom, maybe using the Banarama 4x5 camera with flash (Polaroid conversion camera).
- send out the mail in rebate for my P800 Epson printer (possible $500 back, or at least $350).
- finish the "Families of the Dump' Word presentation for Bob C. This presentation could lead to a possible show(s) and a fundraiser for the families down East.

Quote: Henry Ward Beecher (Clergyman And Social Reformer)

"No man is more cheated than the selfish man."

Quote: Albert Einstein

"Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them."

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Quote: Martin Luther King Jr.

“We must discover the power of love, the redemptive power of love. And when we discover that, we will be able to make of this old world a new world. Love is the only way.”

Video Link: The Importance And Power Of Love, By Bishop Michael Curry

What a wonderful and important heart felt message delivered to the world at the recent royal wedding by Bishop Curry. Love is the answer, LOVE conquers all.

Here it is the video
Bishop Micheal Curry's Message Of Love, Harry And Meghan's Wedding

Friday, May 18, 2018

Haunted By Memories From Workers In Cambodia, Possible New "Lost Innocence" Photos

My mind keeps getting pulled back to the lives I photographed in Cambodia in 2003, and the proposed "Lost Innocence" project. Which would be a series of documentary portraits of the poor women and girls that work the brothels of South East Asia. I can never forget and continue to be pulled back over and over again to the people I met and photographed. I can still see their faces in my memories. Their desperation and sadness continues to haunt my thoughts. Some how I have to find the courage, to photograph and tell those stories again. These young women suffer so much, their lives most often are lost or destroyed, their strength and humanity must be remembered. If I return and make new photos, this time digitally I would call the project "Lost Innocence" and would try to get the work seen in major galleries. The stories of these forgotten girls/women need to be told.

The pictures could lead to dialogue, and might even help with some positive change. Maybe I could donate the money from the artist talks, exhibitions, and print sales (??) to organizations that help the young workers. I have read about one such place in Phnom Penh Cambodia. Imagine that, using the photos to help those who have suffered this terrible fate. That seems so right. I might also be able to make money to help from donators to the blog and  from friends. I could throw in some of my guard money as well. This could turn into a very positive series of pictures, helping those in need, just like "Families of the Dump" has become.

Going back into that world again (the world of prostitution) will be hard thou. It is such a negative place to be. People who see you there will assume the worst of me, it is also very emotionally draining, being around such ugliness such sadness all the time. I need push myself through the dangers and difficulties on and remember the woman in the photographs, they are all that matter, their lives, their stories. Helping them as best I can through the making of the photographs and the telling of their stories is all that is important, nothing else. Maybe if I do this right, I can put to rest the memories of the lost lives I witnessed in 2003.

Fok Vietnamese Brothel Sex Worker Poi Pet, Cambodia 2003

"KANATA" Portrait Possibilities

Been thinking tonight at work about possible "KANATA" portrait possibilities they include.

- First Nation peoples.
- Immigrants (new).
- Police
- Soldiers
- Lower income people
- Inmates
- Alt-right, racist group leaders
- Farmers
- Post office folk
- Politicians (Prime Minister? why not try)
- Religious leaders and ministers of all faiths (Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, Sikh, Muslim etc)

Note* "KANATA" is my planned cross Canada wet plate photography project.

Quote: Margaret Atwood (Writer)

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them and women are afraid that men will kill them.”

Mom

My mothers health is deteriorating, and there seems nothing can be done about it. Mom has been sick for the last 2 months or so with nausea and lack of appetite. She has had multiple scans, tests and medicines. Has visited the doctor, and emergency 4 times. Mom has lost around 35lbs, down from 200 to the 165 or so. We are trying to figure out why she is nauseous all the time, is it physical illness? A depression? No one can tell us. Will take her for another scan on the 24th and another doctors appointment on the 26th.

I feel so lost in all of this, trying everything I can think of to help mom. She seems to have lost much of her will for life, and just wanders around her large house feeling sick and not eating. She sounds so bad and worn out when she speaks and has short term memory problems. I have started taking her breakfasts each morning after work as she has stopped cooking for herself. This morning it was pancakes and an egg, yesterday bacon and eggs. Today, yesterday, the day before that I also cleaned her house a bit, washed her dishes, took out the garbage etc. We have also gotten her a home care nurse that comes to check to make sure she takes all her medications, another person comes once a week to give her a bath (bought a bath chair for her). I am looking into getting meals delivered to her home. Will have to buy her a bunch of groceries next week also as she is starting to run out of juices, milks etc.

Mom does not want to go to an old age home of any kind (she is 82) and she does not want me to move in with her to help her. It is all so frustrating and sad. She is falling apart bit by bit and nothing I do seems to matter much. Losing mom so soon after dad (3 years 3 months ago) is unbearable. It is all so painful, so hopeless. I have taken to crying quite often again about mom. The tears came two days when I was begging her to fight her illness, they come whenever I think of her to much, and again a few minutes ago when I spoke to her on the telephone. We lost dad at 82, I thought mom would last into her 90s (my grandmother lived to 96) but we might lose her at 82 as well.

There was a time when I was 47 when everything was so beautiful. Mom and dad were healthy and happy, I was working and doing my photography at a higher level. I remember thinking back then that I wish I could freeze time, stop the clock. Wouldn't that have be wonderful? Imagine if I could have stopped the clock then. I could go tomorrow and talk to my father and give him a kiss. I could see my mother and him happily watching TV or doing some cooking together.. Dad could tease mom then wink and smile at me when she bit back (he loved to tease her). That world, and all of those things I remember and love are gone forever.

Update: Tonight I keep thinking of what mom must be feeling now, it must be so frightening for her. Losing her abilities little by little, one by one, what could be could be more frightening? I need to do my best to help her through this most difficult part of her life. My mother was always there fore me as dad was, she always cared for all the others in her life, she them first ahead of her own needs. Mom took care her mother (baba) in old age, her daughter, and dad when he got pancreatic cancer. If anyone has earned the right to be taken care of now it's my mother. 

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Quote: Richard Pryor

[on experiencing racism]
"I was just on the Today show and they were telling me how wonderful I was and I walk out into the reality of America and I can't get a cab."

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Quote: Koran (Quran 5:32)

“if any one killed a person, it would be as if he killed the whole mankind,”

Monday, May 14, 2018

More Possible Images

Some more, possible images to print. It all makes me a bit dizzy, trying to decide what  gets printed. So many other negs out there as possibles as well. Even have a bunch of new film shot this last trip still undeveloped.

 
 

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Possible Exhibition Prints For "Forgotten Laughter: Children Of The Dump"

Been doing a bit of grabbing off the blog, looking for possible negs to print for the coming Penticton Gallery show. Who knows what the final selection will be. These were all made in late 2015 or mid 2016 I believe.

Possibles negs to print??

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