More Books

A few weeks back I bought 6 books of poetry from Amazon as well as another book of Anders Petersen's, they arrived today. I will be posting more of the poems I like in the coming months. I also got 2 books from the library on Auguste Rodin, one of them is a book of drawing and watercolours, this book contains many extremely graphic (for there time 1900s) nudes of women, these works could almost be called pornography. The other book deals with his formal sculptures the work he was known for. I will learn about Rodin's work and life in the next few months, I hope this new area of study will help my photography. I am also hopeful the poetry will open my mind to knew ways of looking at things, maybe leading  to more openness and creativity.

None of this self education will hurt me, like always extra effort and working hard to improve yourself is a win win. Plus it's all so fun and beautiful to read this stuff. Art of all kinds whether it's photographs, painting, music, sculpture or poetry takes you into new and exciting worlds. I love to be a passenger on the trips the artist pilots me to.

Video: Traumatized Girl Photograph

This is my first attempt at my 3rd photo of the week, I am hoping I can finish this one and squeeze in another or at least part of another tomorrow before I start work again Monday night. This young girl had something terrible happen to her. With most all the children in the dump I could get them to laugh or to at least smile but this poor girl just gave me the death stare you see in the photograph the whole time I was was her. She lived in a small shack with her mother and sister next to the garbage you see in the background of the image. I have no idea what happened in her life, I just know it was not something good.

Why Complicate Things?

While printing this show I have used a variety of different 16x20 glossy fibre photo papers. So far I have printed on Bergger, Agfa, Eagle, J&C and Ilford. Over the last little bit it has been only Ilford warm tone. Boy has the printing gotten easier when I reverted to a paper I know better and now have made 5 or so prints in a row using it.

I am only doing the multiple paper thing to use up my existing supplies and to save some money for future photography, so its sort of a forced thing at this point. In the future thou I plan to limit myself too one maybe two photo papers. Just like too many films, developer or cameras, too many photo papers is disastrous. Jumping around like a drunken jack rabbit from one thing to another confuses you, and dilutes the positive results you might achieve with your work. We never really really learn how to use anything well, instead of being experts on one thing we become mediocre at many things.

I need to limit myself to achieve more. As Steiglitz told Weston "Less is more"

In the future I will use only Tri-x film, only Ilford warm tone, cool tone papers and limit my camera choices to format, 35mm Lecias, 120mm Blads, 4x5 Linhof, 5x7 Linhof, 8x10 Deardorff.

Only by truly learning the tools of the trade can you become proficient with them, and only when your proficient can you make important photos. You need to feel and use everything naturally, there should be no unnecessary thought or wasted actions. If your thinking tech stuff to much or do not understand your tools because you are not familiar enough with them, everything plugs up and becomes stagnant or you make simple silly mistakes.

Jock Sturges told me he could operate his 8x10 instinctivly from behind the camera and under the dark cloth, no meter, no unnecessary delays or movements. With Sturges everything is extremely fast, natural and fluid. My friend Larry told me when he did a workshop with National Geographic photographer Steve McCurry the guy was super fast, there was no delay, no confusion, he just got the job done lightning quick. Cartier-Bresson was like that with this Leica rangefinder, and Salgado is currently like that with his Leica's and Canon digital. I want to be like that, I need to cut down on the distractions. The toys of photography mean nothing, the photographs of photography mean everything, more photographers need to learn that.

So to get back to my original point, I will use 2 photo papers and learn them, so I can understand my paper better. Eventually I will be able to print faster and better by being consistent and simple in my paper choices.

Birthday Cake Motivations

I had a great evening with mom and dad we talked for 3 or 4 hours. I feel so blessed to have this final time with dad, it would be so hard to lose him suddenly as happens to many families. To have this time to talk, joke and even argue is important, these moments I will remember the rest of my life. Dad seems almost normal to me these days, he is thin and weak but his mind remains sharp, his voice is strong, his memories are often better than mine or moms. Tonight dad told me of a dream he had when he was younger, to open and run a restaurant. Dad was always into cooking (he was a cook for men in a lumber camp at 16), I know the food in his restaurant would have been first rate. Today he told me how he always liked to make the food look good, how the presentation was as important as the taste. When he was a cook at a Edmonton food restaurant years ago, he used to take extra care to make everything look just right.

I have employed a bit of motivation for dad, something  that will encourage him as family was always so important to dad, he put his kids first always. Dad and I share a common birthday, it has been a special thing for me and him my entire life. The last birthday he was 82 and I was 50, the next will be 83 and 51. In the past many times through the years we used to share a common birthday cake. Often it would be in a open book design, on one page it would say happy birthday to me, on the other happy birthday to dad. This last year we bought him a cake that just had his name on it not mine. The first thing that dad said on seeing it was "Where is Gerry?" He was disappointed that I was not on the cake with him. I told dad a few weeks back that if he can reach 83 then we will buy a shared common book style birthday cake with both our names on it this time around. I think that might have inspired him a bit, that and the fact he is a fighter who does not give up and he wants to reach his next birthday. He might just fight a bit harder so we can share that common cake together as father and son one last time. That sort of thing is important to my father. Over the last few weeks dads appetite has been great, he eats and eats and eats some more. Mom even said that he had gained 11 pounds from 134 to 145.

I hope we can share that special birthday cake one last time. Still it is so long from now, almost 4 months. Here is a photo from our past, a photo of me as a little boy with dad and one of those dual cakes, I was I think 4 years old dad 36. If there is anyway a man by pure will alone can stay alive a little longer to share one more birthday with his son, I know my father will do that for me, for us.

Our Birthday, 1968?

Anyway it was a beautiful day with mom and dad, I will miss these so much. Now it's back into the darkroom to print the show. Dad agreed to be photographed again with the 8x10 and 5x7 cameras, I told him I would do it the next time I am off work after mom dyes his hair. I might use one of those photos in the Exposure photo festival exhibition.

Dollice DR-610

I was so happy with my last Dollice copycat bag I decided to order one more, this will be the last. This bag is the Dollice DR-610 . I wanted something very small to carry 1 or 2 Leica bodies, this should fit the bill nicely. Cost is $25 CAD including shipping, taxes and duty.

Dollice DR-610

Late Night Printng

I decided to push myself a bit tonight as I am running out of time to print the show. This print was made after I went out and had Ethiopian food (a first for me) and a photo group meeting. I did not get started till midnight and worked to around 3 am. Not that long a session but I was tired going in so that always makes things more difficult.

This photo is probably one of the better group working shots from the dump series. The negative is shot in fairly bright sun, I had trouble fighting out the contrast on it. One of the disadvantages of the condenser enlarger is you can only use plastic filters separated by 1/2 grades. I started with 1/2 grade which was to little contrast, then moved up to 1 1/2 which was way to much, on my 3rd attempt I printed with the number 1 filter (for the main exposure). I will wash it then let it dry to see where I stand.

If I am unhappy with the contrast I have two options, switching to Ilford filters from Agfa (not sure that will much of a different) or switching to my softer light Saunders LPL enlarger. I am worried I might lose some sharpness with the Saunders. There is much more control in regards to contrast with that enlarger as I have a dial contrast adjustmant multigrade head on it. I will probably have to switch enlargers, but that is for tomorrow.

Here is todays effort:

The printing of this photograph is rather straight forward here are are the details so far.

Camera: Leica M6 with 21mm Lens
Film: Tri-x exposed at 200 ASA
Film Development: D-76 2/1, 12 minutes 30 seconds
Printing Steps: Ilford warm tone 16x20 fibre paper, Durst 1200 condenser enlarger, 50mm El-Nikkor lens. Dectol 1/1 for 4 minute development.

- 90 second exposure at F4 with Agfa filter #1
- Dodge left figure 25 second spread with large round dodging tool.
- Dodge second left figure 15 second spread with large round dodging tool.
- Dodge second right head -10 small round dodging tool.
- Dodge first right head -10 small round dodging tool.
- Burn bottom of print 60 seconds F2.8, filter with card.
- Burn right and left edges (not sky) of print +60 seconds with large card, small card (blocking sky).
- Burn hat of second figure +50 seconds, with hole card.
- Burn mask #1 +250 seconds F2.8 Filter -1 with large card, small card.

3rd attempt Burmese workers in dump, Mae Sot Thailand 2013

Edmonton Photographic Society Meeting

Tonight was another EPS group meeting. Were still in the introduction phase of things and tonight I got to see some of Tom's street photography. It was a nice meeting with lots of photographic discussion, plist camaraderie and joking.  Pretty much everyone showed up, a full house of 8 guys . This group is made up of heavy hitter talented pros types, I can learn lots from these fellows. One thing that is very strange is there are no primary landscape people at all, which is a bit refreshing, a nice change.

Another thing I like a lot about this current group over some of my earlier clubs is I am not the only documentary photography dudes.I met a new photographer to EPS tonight, Pieter who does documentary photographic work in Haiti and South Africa, pretty damn impressive. He has shot in the townships of South Africa and in the slums of Haiti after the hurricane. That level of commitment Pieter shows, and that all the photographers in the group seem to have is also very refreshing. They all put photography high up their life priority list.

My turn for hosting a meeting is long past due, but with dads health being so fragile I have put it off. Maybe the group will be satisfied for now with seeing my photos in the upcoming "Life on the Margins" exhibition. I think when I do host a meeting I will go through my whole photo history, from shooting heroin users in Oakland when I was 21 to my current work at 50 of dad and the "Families of the Dump" series. It might be fun to retrace all of that, I would need to keep my photo count and blabbering down to a minimum.

Links: Interesting Person

Did a google on the professor who I believe posted my photo site index page on tumbler earlier. She is a very accomplished, highly educated and probably very interesting person. Here is her bio most of which I do not understand (you ever get the feeling you were playing hooky when the brains were handed out?):

http://mdweiss.faculty.wesleyan.edu

The original link I found:
http://intimacy-exchange.tumblr.com/post/100167634419/gerry-yaum-photography-on-sex-workers-of-thailand

Thanks for posting the link to my page Professor Weiss.

Received Copycat Dollice Bag

I received the copy cat Domke bag today from China, the Chinese call their version the Dollice. It seems to be a good quality product. I will make a comparison with the original tomorrow (it is at my parents home). So far I am happy with the bag, everything feels and looks the same as the original. I will load the Leica's in and carry it about the next few days to see how she handles. The price difference between the two bags is $142.99 USD for the Domke and $34.06 USD for the Dollice.

Copycat Domke bag loaded down with 3 Leica rangefinders,  3 lens, a small flash and  Pen EE  camera.

Link: Todays Work

The photo I am printing today (in between dance sessions) is one of the key images of the exhibition. The photograph is going to be used as one of the poster photos Larry plans to exhibit in his shop windows. He is going to exhibit 4 very large posters in his windows to advertise "Life On The Margins", two of his and two of mine, this neg is one of the two photo of mine that will be shown.

The printing of this photograph is rather straight forward here are are the details so far.

Camera: Leica M6 with 28mm Lens.
Film: Tri-x exposed at 200 ASA.
Film Development: D-76 2/1, 12 minutes 30 seconds.
Printing Steps: Ilford warm tone 16x20 fibre paper, Durst 1200 condenser enlarger, 50mm El-Nikkor lens. Dectol 1/1 for 4 minute development.

- 75 second exposure at F4 with Agfa filter #2.
- Dodge face and hair of subject -30 second spread with round dodging tool.
- Burn with mask number 1 + 50 seconds at F2.8, filter -1.
- Burn bottom of print 80 seconds F2.8, filter -1 with card.
- Burn right and left edges of print +30 seconds F2.8 filter (make sure sky only gets +10) -1 with card.

Attempt #1 woman working in dump alone, Mae Sot Thailand May 2013

I am washing the print then will let it dry before proceeding. I think I will need to dodge the face more and possibly burn sections of the garbage, the bag she is carrying and her clothing more. I might also have to lower the overall contrast 1/2 a grade. Tbere is also a stain on the print, probably from a dirty developer tray. Overall it is a satisfactory first attempt more work required thou. I should get this print tonight, and then will move on to another print. I am hoping to get through 4 prints by Monday morning but might have to settle for 3.

Here is a story I wrote about the lady who is working in the photograph. The blog entry was written at about the time I shot the photo. She was not in the dump when I returned for my second trip in November, am unsure what happened, her and her children were gone but the man I thought was her husband remained. One day the husband came up and asked me for a photo. I gave him one of his wife but he seemed unsatisfied. He must have wanted one of his children. Next trip I plan on taking him some of those photos. I wish I could speak to the people and understand more about their lives. I need to concentrate on learning my Burmese, I have gotten lazy of late in that regard.

Here is the story link I mentioned:

Hairpin Story

Link: "Life On The Margins" Exhibition Info

Here is a link and write up Larry's wife Joanna made up for our coming joint "Life on the Margins" Exposure Photography Festival exhibition. She is certainly a better writer than I am. Gosh I better get back into the dark and printing, only 1 month and 3 weeks or so until opening night.

Note* There are a couple of photos on the link, one of Larry's, one of mine.

"Life On The Margins"

Exhibition: Living on the Margins - The Manila Project / The Mae Sot Project  (Part of Exposure 2015 Exhibition)

Louie Photography Gallery on 124, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada (February 1 - February 28,2015)

The Manila Project:  Larry Louie (Top Left Photo)

The Mae Sot Project:  Gerry Yaum (Bottom Left Photo)

Since 1975, the world's population has increased from 4 billion to 7 billion, with the majority of the surge occurring in developing countries.  Today, it is estimated there are more than 4 billion people living in urban centers in these countries, one quarter of them in slums and shanty towns.  Lured by bright lights and promises of a better future, more and more people pour into the cities each day.  Many arrive with grand dreams but end up leading marginal lives, scratching a living by doing menial tasks for subsistence wages, their families crowded into small rooms with no water, sanitation or electricity.  Given these harsh realities, most envision slums as places of chaos and turmoil, overwhelmed by disease, crime and hopelessness.

     Larry Louie’s Manila Project highlights the lives of the people living among the dead in Navotas Cemetery in Manila and the people living and working in the Smokey Mountain dumpsite in Tondo, Manila.   Gerry Yaum’s Mae Sot Project is based on a group of Burmese refugees displaced by armed conflicts in Burma and unable to returned to their destroyed villages at home and unable to gain legal refugee status in Thailand living in the municipal garbage dump of Mae Sot, Thailand. 

     These photographs hopefully will bring a new understanding of modern slums.  The images will shine a light on the dark side of contemporary urbanization in developing countries, helping to show that these marginal, impoverished communities are, in fact, rich with untapped potential.  Generally perceived as burdens, the people of the slums should instead be recognized as a valuable resource, one that already helps power the economies of major urban centers but must be further developed to achieve its full potential.  Ill-coordinated donations and other traditional modes of response to urban poverty will not solve the “problem” of slums.  But a closer look at the faces of the poor, a clearer vision of the ingenuity and determination that characterize those who survive in the margins, may encourage the investments in infrastructure, education and skills development needed to more fully integrate this tremendous human potential into the global community. 

Video: Dancing The Day Away!

These are the days I love best, just me and neg in the darkroom creating something beautiful in print form. When I work in my darkroom and everything is flowing well I pump up the music and dance away as I am printing. I have a walkway area in front of my sinks that is great for doing my best "Saturday Night Fever!!". You got to love days like today, its all so beautiful, high of highs!

"Ain't Photography Grand!"

Here is a goofy vid I did up, had to add the soundtrack from a different song after which kind of works, kinda not. The video camera mode does not pick up far off sound that well in my darkroom even thou the music is blasting and my trays rattling. Sometimes you need to put the seriousness aside and just have some fun, fun keeps us coming back for more.

"Exposure Photography Festival" Magazine Photo And Artist Statment

Got a request today to send down a photo for the promotional magazine the "Exposure Photography Festival" publishes each year. I sent down 3 photos for the organizers to choose from as well as this artist statement.

"Families of the Dump" Artist Statement

"As long as poverty, injustice and gross inequality persist in our world, none of us can truly rest."

Nelson Mandela

I make my photographs in the dump and elsewhere for one reason, to tell the stories of forgotten people. My hope is that the work will show the humanity, the dignity of the exploited and raise awareness into their lives.

The "Families of the Dump" documentary photography series was made at the Mae Sot, Thailand garbage dump. At the dump 400 people in 50 plus family groups live and work scavenging for recyclable goods. The families are made up of Burmese refugees mostly from the Karen ethnic group; who travelled illegally from Burma into Thailand. In Burma these people faced political and economic persecution, they came to Thailand to work in the dump hoping for a better life. These photographs tell their story.

Gerry Yaum

New Copycat Backpack

Picked up a new backpack from China today, hope it does the job, the cost was $77 CAD including shipping. I want the bag to be able to carry all my 5x7 holders plus extras like small digital, notebooks, spot meter, and the reflector (in laptop compartment?). I will carry the Linhof 5x7 metal camera closed mounted on its tripod separately by hand. I think having a backpack might be an easier way to than a shoulder bag. When I was doing the Klong Toey portraits with the 4x5 Linhof a few years back I used a shoulder bag and that was quite difficult. I am hoping this copycat National Geographic bag will distribute the weight better.

I now have a China copy cat bag for all my Leica gear (still waiting on it) and a copycat bag totally devoted to my large format 5x7 equipment. Another bonus to this backpack is it has large pockets on either side for water bottles.  If needed I should able to carry up to 4-6 bottles of water with me, 2-4 in the bag side pockets (not sure how many will fit) and 2 in my pant pockets. I need to start carrying extra water bottles with me, especially if I stay in the field for longer than 6 hours. Thailand is extremely hot and sun stroke, dehydration, can and does happen.

I might try using this bag as a carry on airplane bag to transport all my 35mm and 5x7 film to Asia. The backpack also holds a laptop which is convenient. Taking my laptop with me next trip would make time spent in airports and planes less painful, thou I am worried about the added weight. For a short trip I would try to do without the laptop but if it is a 6 month trip or longer I would take it with me.

National Geographic NG W5071 Medium Rucksack Backpack

Lets Give Rodin Another Chance

While mom and dad were eating their buffet today I went to a nearby library and stumbled on the Auguste Rodin sculpture shown below in  a book on Henri Matisse. I saw some of Rodin's work when I was in Paris, visited his home etc. I was never really carried away by what I saw but I think that I need to give his art a second or third chance. His sculpture seems. so grand, so noble, so larger than life. It all seems to fit into the "beautiful people" theme I wrote about earlier in regards to my hopes for large format portraiture in Asia. I need to study Rodin, more, I need to try to feel what he felt. Maybe I can learn from Rodin, maybe he will help me develop my own portrait work.

Jean d'Aire Monumental Nude by Auguste Rodin, Photo by Dr. Chester Chu

Dads Day

I spent the day with my father and mother, we took dad to get a haircut then we all did a bit of shopping at Walmart. Dad and mom also went to try out the food at the place we plan to have dads dinner after his funeral. Dad likes to be part of all the planning for his final day and wanted to try out the food at the smorg to see if it was good enough.

He enjoyed the meal and the shopping thou he felt the haircut was a bit short. It was fun to see dad watching people and then looking at me to make a face, I knew exactly what he was thinking without him having to say anything. It was a fun time for him thou quite tiring. At the end of the day I helped my father into his house and laid him on his sofa so he could relax and watch some TV.

It is now almost 10 months since he was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer, and he is still walking, and doing many things on his own. I think mom has helped dad very much, she has been a great nurse. Mom has kept up his spirits, the positive psychological side of things might be more important than anything physical she does for him.

It is on days like today that I feel that our joint birthday in April might be possible to reach. I hope we can spend one more birthday together, that day would be dads 83rd birthday.

Link: Photography On Sex Workers Of Thailand

Found another link to the sex worker photos someone put online on Tumbler, possibly a University professor. I remember for years as I was shooting the worker images my friends from various photo groups told me that I should try photographing other subjects that doing the sex worker portraits was getting redundant. It is kind of strange to see that work is now the most respected online, whether it's Slate.com, PhotoNOLA in New Orleans or the latest which was DNA magazine out of Pakistan. Everyone is posting or wanting to show the sex worker portraits.

I should have taken the club members advice with a large grain of salt, the photo work in clubs tends to be limited in scope. It is important to listen to others but it is also important to only take advice from the right folks at the right time in your career. Following the wrong advice can affect things negatively. Sometimes as Robert Frost says its important to take the road less travelled and not just photograph the exact same things as everyone else.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference (Robert Frost)

In one way I am happy I left photographing in the sex worker world. I was able to recharge my batteries but I feel the need now to go back and make more pics those folks. Experience, renewed interest and online support are pushing me again in that direction.

Here is the Tumbler link posted in October 2014 possibly by Professor M Weiss of Wesleyan University

http://intimacy-exchange.tumblr.com/post/100167634419/gerry-yaum-photography-on-sex-workers-of-thailand

People Are Beautiful

Today I was browsing through a old edition B&W magazine from 2000 and came upon to Jock Sturges photographs. The 2 shots were part of and advertisement promoting a photography gallery but they got me thinking. Sturges who I have talked to numerous times records images of power and beauty amongst the main groups he photographs, the naturists of France and California. Why not try to show the true beauty of the average person in Asia. The people of the Mae Sot dump even thou they live in appalling conditions are beautiful, the people in Klong Toey slum live in poverty but have a regal beauty to them as well.

A friend from the past told me how he despised people and thought them evil, not worthy of photography etc. I feel the opposite of my old friend (probably why we parted from each other), people are the most important subject for photography, and have the most compelling stories to tell. I should be trying to tell those stories with my large format portrait work. I should be showing the underlying beauty of all people, regardless of economic condition, gender, age, religion, how photogenic they are or nationality. There is always an underlying beauty to human beings, what they are is enough, it makes them beautiful.

When I return to Asia with my 4x5, 5x7 and 8x10 cameras in the coming years, I want to try to tell that story, the story "People Are Beautiful".

I found this quote online when I did a search on the subject. It was written by Markus Zusak a Australian writer.

“Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”

Poem: 'The Mother" By Gwendolyn Brooks (1917-2000)

                   The Mother

Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get,
The damp small pulps with a little or with no hair,
The singers and workers that never handled the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never wind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that come.
You will never leave them, controlling your luscious sigh,
Return for a snack of them, with gobbling mother-eye.

I have heard in the voices of the wind the voices of my dim killed
 children.
I have contracted. I have eased
My dim dears at the breasts they could never suck.
I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized
Your luck
And your lives from your unfinished reach,
If I stole your births and your names,
Your straight baby tears and your games,
Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your marriages, aches,
 and your deaths,
If I poisoned the beginnings of your breaths,
Believe that even in my deliberateness I was not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
Whine that the crime was other than mine?--
Since anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or cried.

Believe me, I loved you all.
Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I loved, I loved you
All.

Photo Story: Ladyboy Worker

I made this ladyboy sex worker portrait back in 2008. The photo was made in a short time sex room near walking street in Pattaya Thailand. I rented the room for the normal 2 hour time limit and brought 2 different workers back for portraits. I remember when I paid for the room the hotel guy was a bit surprised that I wanted the room for the full 2 hours. Most often Westerners rent the room for sex and once they bring the first person to the room for use it goes back to rental mode even if the customer has only occupied it for 30 minutes. When I left the room initially after the first photo session and did not give back the key he was surprised, in 15 minutes I brought back a second worker to photograph, more surprise. The room renter person must have thought I had extraordinary desires and stamina! He did not know I was making pics.

I remember the worker below being very straight forward, she had the same kind of distant look in all the photos, I also photographed her against a door way with the old Banarama 4x5 camera. The pic below was made with a C330 and direct flash on Tri-x. I like the solemnity and the distance of her expression, its completely non sexual even thou it is of a sex worker in a sex room. My goal as always was to desexualize the situation. I think that's the mood in most of these customer and bought person (sex worker) relationships, even with sex being involved everything is dry, cold and distant. The workers expression conveys the proper mood I wanted. Not sure that is always the case, doubt it is, but it is the story I wanted to tell.

Ladyboy Sex Worker in short time room, Thailand 2008

Photo Story: Early Dad On White

When I first started shooting my white background work I made this pic of dad. I have to check my notes but I believe it was made in 2006 when dad was still working very hard and in good health. Dad worked until he was 79. He made food for a farmers market. Dad made breads, pyrogies, cabbage rolls, nalynyke, parishke, all kinds of deserts, pies, sauerkraut, borst, sour pickles, cookies, cakes etc. I lost track of all the Ukrainian and other foods dad made, there were to many to remember. All I know is that dad worked his tail off, never stopping, he is the hardest working man I ever knew. That is why it is so hard to see him confined but still fighting his pancreatic cancer now. He set an example of hard work and how it can lead to success in life, I try to follow his example in my photography. More effort always gives you better results.

When we did these white background photo sessions dad would always contribute stuff, he would bring changes of shirts, different hats, canes, ties, different glasses etc, and let me experiment with the shooting. He would always complain if I shot to much film (wasting money) but when we were making the photos he always seemed to enjoy himself. I remembered he liked this shot but was disappointed I did not tell him he missed buttoning the 3rd button in his shirt. Dad was always a bit of a fashion plate type guy, he always liked to dress up and look good. If he was going out sometime and I said anything remotely negative about what he was wearing he would disappear and return in a new suit, jacket, shirt or tie. He would say to me "How is this? Better?" Sometimes he would change 3 times.

The picture file below was scan of a 8x10 RC a print, it was made before I had a negative scanner. The photo was made with a Kodak Masterview 8x10 camera and 300mm Nikon lens in studio with 4 Speedotron flashes, two on the background and two in soft boxes on my father. The film as always was Tri-x, 8x10 sheet film. The exposure was around 1/60th and F45-64.

Dad in button missing shirt, 2006 Canada

Update* Next week I will try for the last time to photograph dad against the white background. I asked him last week if he wanted to another session and I think he does, so this will be our last time together working in that way. I hope it goes well, it will be hard to concentrate and focus the camera, I know I will end up crying during the session.

Photo Story: Nong 4 Years Later

Nong was a freelance sex worker when I met her in 1999. I was quite close to her and photographed her many times. Nong protected me from harm when I was new to the whole Thai scene and did not know really what was what. When I photographed her in 1999 she had one child, a young girl and was working in a freelance sex worker bar to support her. Nong's mother lived in a slum in Bangkok with the young girl, sometimes Nong would stay with her family and sometimes she would stay with her customer.  Her father was an alcoholic the only time I met him he was drunk and playing cards. When he saw me (rich Westerner) he started hitting me up for money but Nong got in the way and protected me from his loud drunken requests.

Nong used to self harm, one time I found her cutting into her arm with a sharp knife. I am not sure how often it happened but it did, sometimes after I knew of the problem I would notice scars on her arm from the cuts. I used to talk about that with her but I do not think anything I said really mattered. Nong was always a good person to me, in a different life she could have had more opportunities and a better life, and not be reduced to selling her self and still end up living in such poverty. 

Whenever I think of the Westerners going to bars and buying girls I think about Nong and how difficult her life was, the average girl in the bar has similar hardships. That is why the bar world is so ugly, the exploitation and tragedy of the lives of the women who work there. Most every girl who sells herself is doing so with Nongs background and circumstances.

When I returned to Thai in 2003 I wanted to meet and photograph Nong again but she had left the bar world and I had no working phone number or email for her. I was able to track her down after some detective work. I knew what area of the city she lived in so I took took her photo and a taxi there and then just started asking people I met on the street if they knew her. Rather incredibly in a city of 8 million folks the first girl I asked new Nong. After some convincing that I was really Nongs friend I got on the back of a motorbike with the girl and 15 minutes later I was talking to Nong.

In the 4 years since I had known her she had 2 more children for a total of 3 and had hooked up with a Thai man who worked as a security guard. Nong had left the sex worker world and was living very poor. She had lost part of a front tooth and seemed so haggard and thin, it was heartbreaking to see how difficult her life had become. The whole time I was with her that day she never smiled or laughed. Nong had forgotten how to speak most of her English so we mostly spoke Thai. That night as I was leaving her and her family I took this photo as she walked me out of the slum to a place I could get a taxi. 

The photo was made with Leica and direct flash, I think it was a 28mm lens. It was a bit of a lucky shot as I was shooting in almost complete darkness as she walked towards me with no auto focus. Like always the film of choice was Tri-x.

I do not know what has happened to Nong since 2003, I do not know if she is still alive or what has happened to her children. Sometimes life in Thai can be very hard, she is-was such a sweet polite person, I remember her laugh and the glint in her eyes when I photographed her. I hope she was able to find some kind of happiness in her life, she deserves it.

Nong slum street, Bangkok Thailand 2003

Please Stop The Terror, The Torture, Not Again!! My Least Favorite Photo Idea

How many times in my life have I seen the shot of a canoe(s) (usually red) floating in the foreground on the edge of land or turned over in the gravel with big mountains and a lake in the background? Two dozen? Three? Four? Over and over again at club meeting that photo would reappear it would have 9 lives, no 20, no 100. I often wondered if the photographers carried around a red canoe on their backs so they could plunk it down in front of any available mountain. It was like a virus that kept coming back, haunting me in my dreams.

Tonight I visited the sites of two talented local club photographers, there was nice work, some pretty work, nothing truly great but plenty of higher quality club level stuff. I was enjoying the pics. Then there they were, the dreaded canoe shots, not once but twice, once on each of their sites. Nauseating, repetitive, uninspired, repulsive, garbage! Why would would talented photogs want to shoot the same trite mush that has been done so many times before (thousands?). Pablum like that canoe-mountain cliche thing makes me squirm, makes the steam come out of my ears. Yuk!Yuk! Yuk! Use your skills to try and create something unique and creative, do not waste your time on a shot that induces empty platitudes, boredom and nausea.

Looking at the canoe mountain shot makes me want to quit photography, makes me want to swallow a Tri-x canister and slowly choke to death. Please, please, please no more, stop my suffering, canoes in front of mountains be gone!!

Thanks for listening to my venting! I will try to control myself better in the future.

Quote: Roger Ebert

From Rogers last online journal entry, the last thing he wrote before he went into hospital and unexpectedly passed away. The joy and love Roger had for film and writing, even after being a critic for 46 years was amazing. That kind of feeling for what you do with your life is rare.

"So on this day of reflection I say again, thank you for going on this journey with me. I'll see you at the movies."

http://www.rogerebert.com/rogers-journal/a-leave-of-presence 

My Favorite Moment

My favourite moment in photography is when I first get to see a strong or great photo laying in the fixer under normal room light. For me that is the high moment, a high like nothing else I have ever experienced in life. Sometimes I will whoop with joy or dance around my darkroom sink pumping my fist and yelling "Yes!". It probably sounds silly and looks sillier but its a great f-ckin feeling!!

That moment for me is the special time when I realize I got a shot I love, it's just a truly beautiful  feeling. This is one of the reasons why I will never give up the darkroom, pressing Control P on the keyboard in photoshop is just not the same.

Here is a short video of one of those moments not a super intense one and I shot the video after the feeling had dissipated moment but I wanted to talk about this natural high so I wrote this blog and shot this short vid. Seeing the grain/contrast/light and expression of this child set me off. This photo has some faults but bringing it to life and seeing it in all its beauty was a joyful experience.

You have an idea in your mind,  you travel around the world to photograph it, you fly back around the world to develop and print it and then all of a sudden it is there, in front of you in all its glory. A wonderful moment, caught, remembered and preserved. Something you made that did not exist before, it is your own creation, in a way your own child.  Without your effort there would be nothing but now if done properly there is something magical a piece of art that can have a profound impact and power.

The other really cool thing about photography (art) is that if you do it right your work can live on past your and the subjects lifespan, it can be a form of immortality. I hope I have made or can make at least one photo of dad that lives on after he and I are gone, it would be my tribute to him. In the next year or so I will submit some of the "Dads Last Days" documentary portrait work to my galleries list. I will also try submitting the work to the provincial collection.

You gotta love photography!

                                                                        

Update* here is a link to a higher quality Vimeo.com vid.

https://vimeo.com/113835086

Quote: Mikhail Piotrovsky (Director, Hermitage Museum)

 From the film "The Rape of Europa" which documents the plunder of world art during the second world war.

"Art belongs to humanity without this we are animals, we just fight. we live, we eat, art is what makes us human."

No Direct Flash In High Art?

"Taking flash-on-camera head shots isn't necessarily high art you know..."
(Email from Peter-Andy)

Seeing all these great books, all this wonderfully creative photography makes me want so much to get off my duff and make something important myself. So much of the photography I am around everyday,  is the same same BS. I think that has been the negative influence of the club world on me, as well as the average Joe photographers everywhere who sort of all see the wold the same way and say the same things with their cameras. The people who do the same boring landscapes (zone system mountains, old buildings and blurry moving water), typical portraits (smiling children), still life's (bottles and shadows, eye glasses and open books) and light painting over and over and over yet again. So many folks seem afraid to step out of the box that peer pressure and lack of imagination places on them.

I am also guilty of this rather limited narrowed minded approach to photography. To often my photography follows what is expected by my peers instead of what I should be reaching for from my heart and soul. There can be and and should be so much more to photography than following and doing what everyone else has already done to death. I need to delve more into the worlds of photographers like Anders Peteren, Vanessa Winship and this new guy Sobol. I need to think beyond what is expected, what is accepted and what the Edmonton photo people cliques feel is important.

I recently received an email from a well intentioned but rather artistically naive person who told me that direct flash was not really high art technique. That kind of rigid limited thinking is extremely destructive to creativity. We should all be open to everything, no rules makes for better art. As to direct flash, some of the greatest fine art photos ever made, some of highest selling works of all time were done with direct flash by photographers Weegee, Diane Arbus, Nan Goldin and Moriyama Daido. High art is not about the technique, it is about what the artist is saying and how effectively he/she is communicating their message. No rules, no rules, no rules!!

I would tell a person like Peter-Andy if they were my student to forget the rules, to instead open their minds to all possibilities when they create photographs, write prose etc. Whatever works works no need to be to anal when it comes to following trivial rules.

I was a bit blown away by the flash-on-camera headshot photo below, it was made by Anders Petersen. He does not follow any rules of what is high art and what is not, he simply makes pics that slap you ( the viewer) into another reality. I have yet to order this last book as it costs $47 CAD but will probably buy it eventually.

Direct flash photo by Anders Petersen fom his book "Anders Petersen"

http://www.amazon.ca/Anders-Petersen-Hasse-Persson/dp/9171262830/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1417776577&sr=8-1&keywords=anders+petersen

Anders Petersen Books

A couple of days ago I received a compilation book of photos from Amazon, the photographers name is Anders Petersen out of Sweden. I had earlier seen the book at Larry's but was still blown away by the power of the imagery. There is a force to his photography that is difficult to explain. A unique powerful voice telling the stories of the complicated worlds the photographer inhabits.

http://www.amazon.ca/Anders-Petersen-Christian-Caujolle/dp/0500411085/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1417776955&sr=8-5&keywords=anders+petersen

Tonight I ordered another book on Petersen's work. From what I have read this was the book (Cafe Lemitz) that made him famous, it deals with the lives of the people who visited a cafe where Petersen lived and worked. The edition I ordered must be a reissue as the original publication dates back to the 60s.

http://www.amazon.ca/Anders-Petersen-Caf%C3%A9-Lehmitz-Photographs/dp/3829606591/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1417776955&sr=8-3&keywords=anders+petersen

I also bought this joint book tonight, it covers the work of Petersen and a unknown (to me at least) photographer named  Jacob Aue Sobol. From what I saw of his photos on google, they look very strong.

http://www.amazon.ca/VEINS-Anders-Petersen/dp/1907893458/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1417776955&sr=8-4&keywords=anders+petersen

Poem: "Emmett Till" By James A Emanuel (1921-2013)

Emmett Till 

I hear a whistling
Through the water.
Little Emmett
Won't be still.
He keeps floating
Round the darkness,
Edging through
The silent chill.
Tell me, please,
That bedtime story
Of the fairy
River Boy
Who swims forever,
Deep in treasures,
Necklaced in
A coral toy. 

* In 1955, Till, a fourteen-year-old from Chicago, for
allegedly whistling at a white woman in Mississippi, was murdered
by white men who tied a gin mill fan around his neck and threw his
body into the Tallahatchie River.

Poem: "No Images" By William Waring Cuney (1906-1976)

No Images

She does not know

her beauty,

she thinks her brown body

has no glory.

If she could dance

naked

under palm trees

and see her image in the river,

she would know.

But there are no palm trees

on the street,

and dish water gives back

no images.

Pakistans DNA Magazine Picks Up Sex Worker Photo And Interview From Slate

Found this today in DNA magazine, a Pakistani a news resource. Kind of cool to see my work and interview in a real hard copy magazine. My bit is on page 15 of the mag, this edition is quite old, it dates back to January 2014. I only discovered it today when I did a random search for the fictitious Mr. Yaum.

DNA picked up the slate.com article, interview and photos. Gosh I wish I had $10 bucks for every time this slate.com thing was used online. I might have enough money to buy a plane ticket back to Asia to make more pics. Still the more and more this sort of thing happens the more likely positives will flow into the photography career. As always the most important thing is I hope this magazine pick up helped the reader understand the life of the worker, helped to communicate their story and helped to break down negative stereotypes about prostitution.

I have had plenty of online resources like Slate show the work but this is the first real life paper magazine to publish my photography and thoughts. This is the first time a magazine like this has helped me communicate the messages I hope to tell with my work. I am happy the story was shown in a serious news based publication, to have the editors believe the work was worthy makes me feel I am on the right track. You got to love the name of the magazine DNA DEBATE & NEWS ANALYSIS, it's definitely not some kind of fluff entertainment rag.

Update* Since I did not get paid for the use of the story my friend Larry suggested I at least try to get them to send me a free hardcopy of this issue (if they still have it). Probably worth a try.

http://issuu.com/abidoon/docs/dna_issue_7__sunday__19_-_25_jan__2_b20a7c1b60da40/14

One More

This will be the last rental condo posted for a while. I like looking at these things because if I do end up living in one of them it would mean I would be making photographs everyday, which has always been a dream of mine.

This room runs 17000 baht ($587 CAD plus water and power) on a 6 month contract. This condo is not quite as close to things as the last one I pointed but it also supposedly a bit secluded and quiet. Bangkok can be a very noisy place, to have a bit of quiet now and again would be nice.

Here is their little advertising speal:

Property Description
1 Bedroom w/ Living Room (in a small building: nine units total, 3 floors), 45 sq m. New, clean, modern, extremely well-maintained, owner on premises. Fully furnished, WiFi, TV w/UBC cable (Gold, including TrueSport 1 - 4), bedroom, living room, mini-kitchen w/ refrigerator and microwave. Weekly maid service, optional laundry service, parking. Great location on a quiet, dead-end sub-soi in a gated compound, off Sukhumvit. 10 min. walk to BTS station, short motorcycle taxi to Subway Station, easy access to Rama 4 Tollway.

PEN EE 3 Arrives

The Pen EE 3 arrived today, it seems to be in working order as promised. I put in an old roll of Tri-x that I had laying around for several years. I will play with this new toy this week. Not sure if anything will come of this camera but for around $50 its worth the gamble, it could prove to be a valuable expressive tool. This camera should be fun! If it works I will shoot it to death. I attached a flash to the camera and both the hot shoe and sinc connection seem to be working as well. I will post anything of merit later.

Here is a cute little how the PEN EE-3 camera works video that I found on YouTube:

PEN EE-3 

Latest Print

I have been going over my selection of images for my part of the "Life in the Margins"exhibition. I decided I needed some tighter compositions to balance things out a bit. Most of the photo selections so far are mid to wide angle stuff, I wanted to add some tighter head shot compositions as well.

Last night I made a bunch of masks of various important negs, I probably did up 7 or 8 masks. I then worked on a bunch of test prints for the photo below. This is my first attempt at the print. I will try darkening the edges and background further in the later versions. I want to maintain a certain rawness to the photographs but also eliminate unnecessary background hot spots.

Distorted closeup made with Canon Mark II and 24mm

First attempt closeup of dump child, Mae Sot Thailand 2013

Blurb Credit

After the page 20 photo problem with the last dad magazine printing. I sent a question to the support people at Blurb. After giving them some detailed files they came through for me and agreed to either do a reprint or give me a credit. I got the other earlier 3 dad mags for free, one of which I gave dad. It turns out the problem was a printing issue on their end and not my fault. I decided to go with the credit so I could make some minor changes to the dad mag this week. Sometimes I am to fussy about these things but I believe there are some slight improvements I can make before the final printing run. I want these things to be as perfect as I can make them even thou the Blurb desktop printing output quality is limited. The Blurb support people were a pleasure to deal with. I would recommend these mags to other photographers that might be interested in having their work printed.

Photo Idea: Inspired To Design Retrospective Magazine

Looking through the newly arrived Vanessa Winship retrospective book has inspired me to try my own homemade version retrospective publication. The idea is to do a 240 Blurb magazine which runs around $49.99 USD. I will design it along similar lines as the Winship book, into series sections with a brief intro to each. This is a bit of a vanity project, it will also serve as a career marker for me. This retrospective mag will help me see exactly where I am in my photo career, how many top notch pics I have actually made. Having everything in one mag should help put everything in a proper perspetive.

I might also be able to do a bit of promotion with this thing as well through the YouTube and Vimeo channels. Who knows a book publisher might see it and become interested. Anything is possible in the world of the internet, in the past I got a international show as a result of this blog, so why not a book? I might also be able to print and buy a few mags and send them to important collectors and museums/gallery as gifts, thou the cost would limit what I could do there.

I wish I could have a retrospective mag for this coming exhibition but thats impossible. I think thou having it ready for the next majorish exhibition (#6) wherever that may be, should be possible.

The series sections might be:

1) Early work.
   - Growing up
   - Landscapes
   - Nudes
   - West Oakland ghetto drug scene
   - Laguna beach gay scene
   - Baba's last days

2) Bangkok 1999
   - Street life
   - 3 Hearts (colour)

3) Bargirl/Sex worker
   - Freelance street workers male and female
   - Bargirl workers in Thailand (colour)
   - Freelance workers Cambodia (colour)
   - Brothel workers in Cambodia (colour and b/w)
   - Sex worker on white
   - Ladyboy worker  (colour and b/w)

4) Documentary
    - Families of the dump
    - Klong Toey slum
    - People under the freeway
    - Muay Thai boxer
    - Cambodia
    - Nepal
    - Japan
    - Dads last days

This is the first step in the development of this project which will probably take at least a year of work. The most difficult part will be finding all the negs (especially the early photos) and doing all the scanning and photoshop work needed

Centrally Located Condo In Bangkok

This condo is not as nice looking as the previous one I posted and it cost more 15000 baht ($521 CAD) but it has a great central location. The room (48 sqm) is located in a prime Bangkok area so your bound to pay more. This condo is within walking distance of bars, restaurants, tourist-Thai markets, shopping centres, supermarkets and most importantly the skytrain system. In Bangkok you can spend hours and hours locked in traffic or trying to get a taxi during rush hour. Getting to where you want to go in Bangkok can be extremely time consuming and painful. Paying more for a room with a better location especially as a Westerner might be my best bet. Saving costs on transportation and wasted time spent sitting in taxis and buses might be well worth the extra monthly room price. I also like the light from the window next to the kitchen area. With power and water the total cost would be around $650 to $750 CAD a month. The down side is that if I spend lots of time outside of Bangkok, in Mae Sot shooting the dump project or in Cambodia etc, the $521 or so monthly charge would be a tough pill to swallow.